Chapter 1
Odessaa's POV
When I walked into my room, I felt even more tired than before. The candle I had left burning earlier smelled like jasmine and something heavier and more familiar at the same time. Him.
Dave.
I hardly had time to close the door before his sharp, accusatory voice filled the room.
"Are we going to talk about this then?"
Without turning around, I could tell that he was angry because his arms were crossed and his mouth was clenched. It was always that way. Dave was not patient. He wasn't willing to give in. These days, all he did was wait for me to get home before starting another fight.
I slowly let out a breath and walked toward the window, ignoring the sound of stress in the air. Beyond that, the lake sparkled like melted glass. It was the most peaceful time of my life in a long time.
"Odessa, this is wrong." He kept his growl low and in check. For now.
Before I spoke, I closed my eyes and counted to three. "Not now, Dave." My voice was even and calm, just like it always was when he was mad. Adding fuel to the fire didn't help. It would only make him burn more.
"Why not now?" As he got closer, his steps were heavy. I could feel him behind me; I could feel his heat. "You've been putting off this talk for weeks. "Do you think I'm not seeing?"
He did, of course, notice. Dave was aware of everything. I keep quiet. Why I'm hesitant. The way I stopped leaning into his touch. The way I looked at him less and less.
I sighed and turned just enough to catch a quick glimpse of him over my shoulder. His angry look in his dark eyes burned into me. The big, strong frame that should have made me feel safe instead made me feel trapped.
"I've been up all day," I said, my voice rising as I was tired. "Is this not possible?" I only want a hot bath. That's all.
That was not true. My main wish was for peace. And there was never peace where Dave was concerned.
His nostrils got bigger. "Finally?" Is that it?" His laugh was mean, and he paced while running his hand through his hair. "Sorry, Odessa. You're my mate. You're pulling away, even though we should be better together. You never let me know what's going on in your mind. It seems like you don't want this at all.
I took a deep breath. He had a point.
I said in a whisper, "I didn't ask for this." It wasn't supposed to come out, but as soon as it did, the air changed.
His face turned darker. "What?"
I shook my head and clenched my teeth. "All I mean is..." Dave, I didn't ask for any of this. All the fighting. The hopes and dreams. The way you push me until I can't breathe.
His shoulders hunched over as he stiffened up. "I push because I care."
"No." I turned around completely and looked him straight in the eyes. "You push me because you want to be in charge." There's a change.
The words hung between us, making it difficult to breathe. He opened his mouth as if to argue, but he didn't have anything to say this time. He may have done that because he knew I was right.
He felt something in his jaw move. "What do you mean, Odessa?" You are going to ignore this and act like we don't belong together, right?"
Belong. It was such an effortless word, but it felt so heavy. Because I might have known in my heart that I didn't belong to Dave. I've never had. The mating that was meant to hold us together felt more like a chain around my neck that got tighter every day.
I slowly let out a breath and turned away from him again. "I no longer want to fight."
"Do you think I do?"
Yes.
That wasn't what I said. I walked to the bathroom instead, taking my shoes off as I went. "I'm taking a bath."
I had only taken three steps when his voice, which was as sharp and cutting as a knife edge, chased me down the hall.
"WTF, Odessa! " You're not a defense lawyer, you're a jail worker!" Dave's voice could be heard all over the room. "Giving out burgers and fries isn't really tiring!"
I choked down the thick, burning bile that rose in my throat. I didn't want him to know how badly his words hurt me. He always did this—twisted the knife, put me down, and reminded me that he saw me as nothing more than a bother.
Not good enough for him. Oh no, not good enough for the great Dave Blackwood, who is the alpha's great-nephew.
He is a total, unbearable jerk.
I made fists and stomped off to the bathroom, my heart beating fast in my ears. I slammed the door shut so hard as soon as I walked in that it moved the mirror. I tried hard to hold my breath, but it came out all over the place. This time he wouldn't win.
By turning the tap, I let hot water pour into the tub. Steam rose into the air and warmed the small room. I sat down on the toilet lid and wrapped my arms around myself. I looked at the moving water without thinking.
What brought me here? How did I let this become my life?
I jumped when I heard a loud thump on the door. His voice came next. It was low but still urgent.
He bit out, "Fine." "I'll wait until you're done." We'll talk about this later, though. Because none of my friends are going to run around town and make a fool of me.
His words were like a noose around my throat.
A single, hot tear ran down my face, but I quickly wiped it away before it could change my mind.
"Whatever, Dave," I said without any emotion in my voice.
I already knew the truth, which I had been putting off for too long. It wasn't working. It wasn't love. Despite the belief that the mate bond was holy and connected two souls, I felt trapped. Passed out.
Putting some lavender oil and Epsom salts in the tub after it was full, I hoped and prayed that it would help me feel better, even if only for a short time.
I took off my clothes and jumped into the water, where I sank until the heat felt like a second skin around me. After working all day at the bistro, my muscles hurt. The warm water eased the pain, but it couldn't help the deeper pain in my stomach.
It was telling me in a whisper that I had to leave.
Dave had been clear about what he wanted from the start. He wanted a mate who would give in and do what he said without question. I wasn't that kind of wolf, though.
I had never been.
I liked being on my own. It made me feel good to know I could take care of myself if I needed to by working and making my own money. I had been putting away everything I could for years, knowing that I might need it one day