Crashing and Burning

DEPRESSION

It would have been preferable if Marvin had just broken up with her, but he didn´t and she was just numb after that. He simply went back to his thing and she returned to work. Weeks passed and they did stop seeing each other, but not because a decision was made about it but because now that she was not calling him and all over, he seemed to have no reason to talk to her.

She sulked in her misery for a few more days until she decided she would take the lead. She figured out baby steps would be necessary so, the first thing she did was hide their relationship status on f******k. She didn´t out herself as single, she just wanted it hidden because it was so painful to see it displayed there on her profile.

That got a reaction from him.

Her cellphone started ringing and at the sight of his name on the screen she froze for a second. Was she hallucinating?

-Hello? - She picked up nervously

-Ally, please, can we talk

She stood in silence not knowing what to say.

-Would you please come to my place when you get off from work? Please? I want to make things right- He said.

Four hours later she was knocking at his door. She fixed her hair a little and waited. After a few minutes he opened it. His dark eyes glowering at her. She took note of his somber mood and shivered.

-What about wanting to make things right? – She asked

-Why did you delete our relationship status? – He spat

-First, I did not delete it, it is just hidden, and it is just a stupid thing for nosy people to see, so why are you making such a big deal? – she said- besides, I really don´t care how we label each other right now, I care about the condition of our relationship. You say you want me to state publicly that I´m your girlfriend but you do not touch me, we haven´t even gone out on a date since you asked me to be with you and we can barely have a proper conversation anymore, Marvin.

-We´ve gone on dates- he defended himself

-Going to the movies with you and five of your friends doesn´t count as a date- She replied.

-Ok, ok, ok, but look, why are you crucifying me like this? I´m sorry, ok?  I didn´t mean to hurt you or anything, it´s just… you know I´ve been stressed out with work and the graduation and all.

-I know Marvin, but the more I think about it, it just doesn´t justify the way that you´ve been treating me or your lack of interest.

-Listen, would you just put that status back and then we can figure this out?

That made her snap

-Are you f*****g kidding me? No Marvin, I´m not putting it back! And I just can´t believe that what you really care about is your damn friends´ opinion, you just want that back because you don´t want them finding out you´re being a total asshole and you know what? This is sick, I can´t keep on going with this crazy argument.

She turned around, sprinted down the stairs and got into her car speeding as she heard him scream standing in the middle of the street, telling her to please stay.

That night she was a mess when she got to the apartment. Luckily, Jo was there to calm her down a bit. She opened a bottle of wine and let her bawl her eyes out while they both sipped on it eagerly.  

She could not believe what everything had reduced to. It hurt and she could not even fathom what it meant yet, she refused to...It was pathetic

The weekend came and went. Ally spent it in a cozy drunken stupor. When Monday rolled around, she felt slightly calmer. She hadn´t heard of Marvin since she´d left him standing in the middle of the road, making a scene.

By the end of the day she´d made up her mind. She decided that the best thing to do was to be adults about this, talk things out and at least finally break up in a civilized way.

-Hey- she said when he picked up after a few ringing tones

-Hey you- he answered

-Would you like to come to my place for dinner tonight? Maybe talk things out?

-Sure baby.

- I´ll see you at eight, ok?

-Ok

Ally sat in the dining room by herself. She´d cooked some chicken and pasta, she´d even bought a bottle of wine. "To make everything a little bit more relaxed". She had thought. Everything sat perfectly on the table.

When she looked at the ancient clock that Jo liked to keep on the living room´s wall and the hour hand reached eleven, she stood up. She put the long gone cold food in the fridge for Jo and her to have at later.

She put away the unused dishes and cutlery, leaving a single glass out, where she poured a generous amount of wine and sitting on the couch, finally allowed herself to silently cry.

Three glasses later her cellphone chimed. It was a text

-Sorry baby, I fell asleep, see you later. All right?

She did not reply