Justin's Rock

Chapter 2-1

Chapter 2Things were busy for Justin and the other seniors as the academic year seemed to rush toward its close. And then for Justin the train was derailed.

One morning he was called out of his history class and told to come to the principal’s office. Gary gave him a puzzled look as he left. Justin shrugged his shoulders and picked up his books. Sure he wasn’t in trouble, he wondered what this was all about.

In the outer office the secretary, Mrs. Comstock, looked even grimmer than usual. Next to her was a burly man in a dark blue uniform. She said, “Justin, this is Officer Sudowski of the Higgins Police.”

“Hi, Officer,” he said, offering his hand. “What’s up?”

“Justin, let’s go out into the hall, okay?” He looked at Mrs. Comstock, who nodded.

When they were alone in the hallway, the policeman said, “Son, there’s no easy way to say this.”

Alarmed, Justin said, “Okay, just tell me.”

“Your dad collapsed in his classroom a little while ago. He was DOA at the hospital. I’m sorry.”

His stomach clenched, and he felt dizzy for a moment. The policeman put his hand on Justin’s shoulder. “You okay, kid?”

He wanted to say, “Of course I’m not okay. You’ve just told me my dad is dead.” Instead, he asked, “Where’s Mom? Is she all right?”

“She’s still at the hospital. Come on, I’ll take you to her.”

In the unmarked police car, his mind teeming with conflicting urges, he said, “I’ve gotta call Grandma Mary. And Brody.”

“Son, why don’t you wait until you’ve seen your mother? I’m sure she needs you right now. I take it you don’t have any brothers or sisters?”

“Yes. I mean, no, I don’t. What happened to Dad? He’s always been in great shape. We just ran together this morning.”

“I’d better wait until you’ve talked with your mother.”

Moira was sitting in the ER waiting room. She had been called from her office, so she was dressed in business garb, a tailored suit and mid heels. She stood up as Justin ran to her. They embraced and simply stood there consoling each other by their closeness.

Finally, he asked, “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay, sweetie, how about you?”

“What happened to Dad? Do they know?”

“Until there’s an autopsy, they’re only guessing, but Dr. White thinks it may have been some sort of aneurism.”

“Why does there have to be an autopsy?” He did not at all like the idea of his father being laid out on a table and cut up.

“As Rob White explained to me, any unexplained death has to have an autopsy. Since Larry was in great shape, with no health problems, it’s required by law.”

“Oh. So what do we do now?”

“Well, I should call Mother. We’ll need to talk about arrangements and find a funeral home.”

Justin shuddered. He’d never had to cope with anything like this before. If he hadn’t felt so numb, it would have been scary. But he knew he had to be strong for his mother now.

“How long will the autopsy take?”

Justin looked around for Officer Sudowski, but he’d disappeared.

“I’ll ask Rob. He may know.”

“Let’s go home, Mom. I’ll call Grandma Mary if you want me to. What about Father Hugo? Maybe he can recommend a funeral director, or whatever they’re called. And we’ll need to get him started working on the arrangements for the service.”

Moira put her hand on her son’s cheek. “I’m glad one of us is able to think clearly. Let’s go home and call your grandmother. Oh, and I’d better call Larry’s department chairman. They’ll want to know about him.”

“Gary was with me when I got called out of class. I’ve gotta call him.”

“Well, not until school’s out.”

“Yeah, that’s right. But I’ve gotta call Brody.”

“He’s in class, too, probably,” she pointed out, “and he can’t do anything.”

“You’re right. He stood straighter and looked at his mother. “What do we do now?”

“I’ll see if they need us for anything else. If not, we’ll go home.”

* * * *

Justin was too busy during the succeeding days to realize fully the extent of his loss. He got through the funeral home visitation. Mary Morrison, his grandmother, had come from Toledo to stay with them and lend support. She was present until after the funeral. She offered to stay longer, but Moira gently assured her that she and Justin would get along just fine and her mother should go back to her own life. Mary agreed, but she insisted she was going to come out to Higgins more frequently than she’d been in the habit of doing.

“It’s times like this,” she said, “that remind us how important family is.”

The funeral was well attended. Although the Quinns hadn’t lived in Higgins very long, Larry’s departmental colleagues and a large contingent of his students showed up, as did Moira’s colleagues in the firm where she worked. In addition to that, Justin himself was well supported. In addition to a dozen of his classmates, the whole baseball team was there, as were Brody, Dave, and Gary and his parents. Even Sheila from the flower shop was there.

It was the interment that Justin found most difficult. The funeral had been elegant and upbeat, a celebration of his father’s life. But when the casket was lowered into the ground and he and his mother had to toss dirt into the hole on top of it, he almost lost it. But his mother was sobbing, and he put his arm around her. She needed his strength, so he couldn’t show signs of weakness. And thus they got through it.

After a day or two of together time, Justin went back to school and his mother returned to work. Life has to go on, as she said to him. Back in school, students he hardly knew came up to him and offered their condolences. He had more friends than he’d thought.

He had his bad moments, however, times when it seemed his life was suddenly barren and cold, despite the support he’d gotten from his friends. He shed his tears in private and remembered that, at eighteen, he was a man and that his mother needed him.

He returned not only to classes but to playing baseball. The team was doing well, and their success, along with the rapid approach of graduation, helped take his mind away from how much he missed his father. Most of the time.

Moira and Justin had to meet with James Boswell, the family lawyer. Moira was familiar with the terms of Larry’s will, so that session contained no surprises. His estate went to his wife in toto except for the proceeds from a life insurance policy payable to Moira as trustee for Justin until he became twenty-one or graduated from college. It was large enough that he could go to university and on to graduate school without having to work unless he wanted to.

At the funeral Brody had hugged Justin.

“Jus, when you get through all the formalities, you’re gonna need someone. I’m here. Call me. Come over. Text me. Whatever. Will you remember that?”

Justin had squeezed Brody and said, “I’ll get in touch as soon as I can, okay?”

One evening not long afterward, Justin called Brody. It was Dave who answered.

“Dave, this is Justin.”

“Oh, hi. How are you and your mother getting along?”

“Like somebody said, one step at a time. Thanks for asking.”

“Well, if there’s anything, anything at all I can do, you be sure to let me know. Promise?”

“Yeah, thanks. It helps to know you guys are there for me. Uh, could I speak to Brody?”

“Of course. I’ll get him. But you be sure to let me know if you need anything.”

Brody picked up the phone. “Jus?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“How are you?”

“Can I come over? I really need to be with you.”

“Are you okay to drive? I could come get you.”

“No, Sarge, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Drive carefully.”

When he got there, Dave and Brody were waiting for him. After hugging Justin and once again offering any kind of help he needed, Dave tactfully retreated to his home office, leaving the family room to Brody and Justin.

“Could you just hold me, please?” Justin asked.

“Come here.”

They sat on the sofa, Justin wrapped in Brody’s strong arms. For ten minutes neither said anything. Justin couldn’t help being aware of how good Brody smelled. It wasn’t aftershave or cologne, just essence of Brody. He felt guilty to be enjoying the sensations when he was here because his dad had died. But he couldn’t deny it was wonderful being comforted by Brody.

He hadn’t cried much since Larry’s death, never around someone else. Now he cried. He’d been holding it all in, but here he knew he could let go.

Brody held him, rocking him gently, stroking his hair, saying nothing.

Finally, as his sobs subsided, Justin snuffled and said, “I’m sorry to be such a wuss.”

“Not a wuss, little brother. No way.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I already miss him so much!”

“Sure you do. And you probably always will. But he’s gonna live on in your heart. And you’re the man you are not just because you’ve got his genes in you, but because of the values he taught you.”

“Oh, God,” Justin said, sobbing again.

Brody continued to hold Justin until he calmed down. After they’d remained quiet for a while, Dave came back into the room and offered to make cocoa.

“David, do we have any Kahlua?” Brody asked.

“I think so.”

“Good. You make the cocoa and put a little of that in it.”

“I know where you got that idea,” Dave said, winking at Brody.

Later, after they’d had the Kahlua-laced cocoa, Justin said he should go home.

“You wanna stay here tonight?” Brody asked Justin. “You can use the guest room.”

“No, thanks. I need to check on my mom, maybe spend a little time with her.” It was true that he felt obliged to go home in case his mother needed him. But the thought of lying in the guest bedroom while Brody was in bed with Dave down the hall was more than he could bear.

* * * *

Two weeks or so after Larry’s funeral, Justin and Gary were having a rare 69 session. They preferred exchanging blow jobs one at a time, but this night they were more urgent, neither wanting to wait.

Sensing that Gary was about to explode, Justin slowed down a little, waiting for Gary to bring him to the same level of excitement. It didn’t take long before they came together. Justin got off of his partner, turned around, and they kissed, exchanging spit and semen.

“I love it when we do that, mixing it together and then sharing it,” Gary said.

“Yeah, and there’s no clean up, either.”

Gary grinned back. “Well, there’s that, too.”

Later they were lying there, Gary in Justin’s arms.

“What about the prom?” Gary asked softly, his warm breath exciting one of Justin’s n*****s.

“Would you be seriously pissed with me if we didn’t go?”

“No. Disappointed, though. Your senior prom only happens once.”

“Yeah, but it’s a breeders’ affair.”

“Since when have you been afraid to show the flag?”

“Afraid? Bite your tongue, bitch.”

“Well, then, what? You’d look so great in a tux, and I’d love to be out there on the floor dancing with you while half the girls in the class were envious of me.”

“I suppose you’d want a limo and a corsage, too.”

“We could split the cost of the limo, and I’d pass on the flowers.”

Justin stuck his tongue in Gary’s ear.

“Awwkk! Stop that! You know that drives me crazy! And you’re just trying to get me to change the subject.”

“Uh huh.”

They snuggled together and Gary mercifully didn’t say anything more about the prom. In fact, he began breathing deeply and regularly, so Justin knew he was asleep.

Sleep didn’t come so easily to Justin, however. He felt bad to disappoint Gary about the prom, but it all seemed childish. He wasn’t afraid of what people would say if he and Gary showed up together. He knew for sure of three other same-s*x couples, one male and two female, who were planning to attend the gala affair. Besides, just about everyone who knew them knew that he and Gary were, at least for the moment, boyfriends. Since Larry’s death, Justin simply wanted to put high school behind him and get on with his life. He’d thought about quitting the baseball team, but decided he’d be letting down his teammates and the coaches if he did that. And that would be immature. With college in the offing, however, he realized his relationship with Gary would be seriously strained.