Justin's Rock

Chapter 2-2

* * * *

A day or two later, Gary and Justin were having shakes at the BK on their way home from school.

“You’ve been just busting to tell me something all day,” Justin said.

Gary nodded. “Two things. My folks said they could afford for me to go back to Interlochen again this summer. And I was notified yesterday that I’d passed the try-outs and will be a member of the Hoosier band. I’ve got to go to Bloomington two weeks early to start practice.”

“Oh, does Indiana have a band? Without a football team, when do they play?”

“Huh? They have a football team.” Gary looked at the smirking Justin and realized his leg was being pulled. He picked up Justin’s shake. “I should spit in this, you bastard. The Hoosiers aren’t that bad.”

“Go ahead, spit in my shake. It isn’t like we haven’t swapped spit before. But seriously, dude, you should look at Indiana’s football record over the last few years.”

“Well, Harvard and Stanford don’t have such great football teams, either.”

Keeping a straight face, Justin studied the ceiling for a moment. “I’m not sure what it’s called, but there’s a logical fallacy there somewhere. Because Indiana’s football team sucks, doesn’t mean academically they’re in a class with Stanford and Harvard.”

Gary handed the shake back to its rightful owner. “f**k you!”

Justin grinned. “So you say, but you don’t mean it!”

Ignoring that remark, Gary continued, “IU really is a great school, you know, and they’ve got a famous music program.”

“Yeah, I know. I was just yanking your chain.”

They sucked and slurped for a few minutes.

Then Justin said, “Gare, I’m gonna miss you. I was hoping you’d be around for the summer.”

Gary’s eyes squinted for a moment. “Yeah, well, life moves on, doesn’t it? What are you gonna do this summer, deliver flowers for Petal Pushers again so you can hang out with Brody?”

Giving his friend a puzzled look, Justin replied, “Nope. I’m working for Dave Cromer. He can give me more hours than the Coxes can, and I want to work outside. It’ll help me stay in shape, get a good tan, stuff like that.”

“What’ll you be doing?”

“Mowing lawns, general yard work.”

Gary snickered. “Oooh, riding around on a lawn tractor is sure gonna give you big muscles.”

“b***h!”

“I gotta say, man, I’m surprised you’d give up seeing Brody every day to work for Dave Cromer. Is the difference in pay that important? Oops, I’m sorry, Jus. I guess it could be. I wasn’t thinking.”

“No prob.” Justin grinned. “Brody’s worked out some sort of arrangement with his brother Bob. He’s not working in the flower shops after the end of this school year. He’s gonna be working with Dave’s crews, too.”

“I might have known.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, I’m sorry if I’m being, uh, indelicate here, but who did you go running off to when your dad died? Right to the comforting arms of Brody Cox. I didn’t see you from the day he died until the funeral, you know, and not alone until sometime after that.”

“But…I was busy helping Mom make the arrangements and stuff. And at a time like that you’re not thinking of fooling around. Besides, Brode’s always been like a big brother to me, you know that.”

Gary wiped his mouth with his napkin, crumpled it, and put it in his shake cup. “Big brother! Be honest, Quinn. If he offered to take you into his bed and f**k you silly, tell me you wouldn’t do it.”

A pensive Justin said, “There was a time, yeah. Last summer I wanted to get into the big stud’s pants so bad. But he made it clear we weren’t gonna ever have s*x, and that was the end of it.”

“Oh, right! Forget what he told you. Think about what you want. You’d turn that sexy ass up for him in a heartbeat, don’t kid yourself. And wiggle it around at him, too. Why do you think I’m going to be away all summer?”

“You told me you loved Interlochen last year.”

“I did. But I didn’t know you then. At least not like we know each other now. And I think I know you too well. We’ve had a good time together, but face it, it’s over. I’m moving on, just as soon as commencement is over. And you can do your f*****g best to break up Brody and Dave, if that’s what you want.”

“Gary, what’s happening here? Forget Brody and Dave. Are we splitting up?”

Gary’s expression softened. “Yeah, I guess so. It’s been great, babe, but you know we don’t have a future together.” He stood. “I guess I’ll be going.”

Surprised this had all happened so fast, Justin said, “Gare, at least let me take you home.”

“No, that’s all right. The walk will do me good.”

“i***t. It’s three miles to your house and, if you haven’t noticed, it’s raining.”

Gary looked outside. “Oh. I guess it is.” He shrugged. “So much for being a drama queen. You can take me home if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind.”

When they pulled into the Kellers’ driveway, Gary leaned toward Justin and kissed him briefly.

“Thanks for the ride.” He grinned ruefully. “It’s been great.”

He got out of the car and went into his house, not looking back.

* * * *

The scene left Justin feeling like he’d been a total s**t, and yet he wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong. That he and Brody could ever be lovers was a pleasant dream, but he knew it wouldn’t happen. Brody and Dave were obviously very much in love, and Justin had to admit that Dave made a perfect mate for the Sarge.

He also knew that he and Gary weren’t in love with each other. But he’d loved Gary, he’d loved hanging out with him, he’d loved their s*x. And somehow he’d managed to alienate his friend.

Fuck! That was all he needed right then. He missed his dad. His mother was going off to work valiantly every morning but she was miserable, missing Larry. Now he and Gary were through. He wanted to go to Brody and pour it all out, but that wouldn’t work. Brody was his brother, his best friend, but he wouldn’t whine to Brody. The Sarge might not tell him to suck it up and move on, but that’s probably what he’d be thinking.

Somehow Justin decided he’d have to get through the few remaining weeks of the school year. When summer came he would enjoy the physical work as a member of one of Dave’s crews. He’d enjoy playing with the Higgins Hammers again, at whatever position they needed him. (He’d come to like playing shortstop on his high school team.)

* * * *

It was Sunday evening. They were having tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.

“Justin?” his mom asked. “Have you made up your mind about college yet? It’s getting pretty late, you know.”

He sighed. “I know. It’s probably too late to go to OSU or Carnegie-Mellon. Even if it isn’t, I’m gonna write them and turn them down.”

“So what are you going to do, go to Colby State?”

“Uh huh, that’s what I want to do.”

“Are you seriously thinking of majoring in architecture?”

He took his mother’s hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb. He looked her in the eyes and said, “Maybe it’s in the genes. I want to try to be as good an architect as you and Dad.”

Tears came to Moira’s eyes. “You’re sure?”

“Nothing’s carved in stone, but I’m pretty sure.”

“It will be nice to have you here, sweetie.”

“Well, that’s just the thing. It’s good I’ll be at Colby because I’ll only be a half hour away if you ever need me. But I want to live in the dorms. I want to feel as if I’ve gone away to college.”

Moira was quiet for a moment. Then she smiled at her son. “Of course, dear. I understand.”

Justin smiled and continued to hold his mother’s hand.

“I feel bad. I feel as if you’d rather have gone away somewhere and you’re settling for Colby because you’ll be near me.”

“That’s not the way it is. And even if that was my motivation, what’s so wrong with a guy wanting to look out for his mom?”

* * * *

The next day after history class, Gary asked, “Jus, can we talk sometime?”

“Sure. But I have baseball practice after school, so it’ll have to be later.”

“Look, I don’t have any right to ask, but could you come to my house after supper? I’d offer to come to yours, but my folks are using the car tonight for something.”

“Well, I can’t stay long, ‘cause I’ve got an English paper and that history report to work on. But, yeah, I can come for a little while. Seven o’clock okay?

“Thanks, Jus. See ya then.”

Justin was curious. Gary seemed more diffident than usual, and they’d kept their distance since that afternoon at the BK when Gary broke things off between them.

When he arrived at the Kellers’ Gary took him into the family room.

“The folks have gone to Colby to see some old movie they remember from when they were in college. They won’t be back until after ten, probably. Would you like a Coke or something?”

“No thanks, I just had supper.”

“Oh, okay. Well, sit down then.”

Old habits die hard, and Justin took his place on the sofa, where he’d sat many times as he and Gary watched television or played games. Gary sat at the other end of the sofa, turning toward Justin, drawing one leg up underneath the other.

Justin waited.

“Uh, Jus, I’m sorry, man, for the way I acted the other day. I don’t know what got into me. And I sure don’t want there to be hard feelings between us.”

Justin almost made a comment about hard feelings, but sensing it wouldn’t be a good time, he waited for his friend to continue.

“I mean, I’ve always known how you felt about Brody, and I’ve always been willing to take what you could give me. But with graduation coming, with the prom and all, and knowing we were going to different universities, I got really depressed. And I decided maybe I’d feel better if I broke it off instead of waiting for you to do it. And you know you would have at some point.”

Justin took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I figured it was something like that, Gare, and I’m not mad at you. Honest. You’re right, I knew our plans for next year would make it hard for us to keep the kind of relationship we’ve had this year. But you’ve got the Brody thing wrong. I do love Brody. And I think he’s the sexiest guy I’ve ever met. You’ve always known that. I never hid it from you. But I love the big guy so much I’d never do anything to come between him and Dave. I’m just glad they’ve found each other.”

He looked at Gary, who nodded but didn’t say anything.

“Be honest. What you and I have isn’t like what those guys have. So, yeah, we shouldn’t kid ourselves that we can remain boyfriends next year. You’re gonna meet lots of cute guys and so am I. I wouldn’t want you to be a hermit because of me, and I sure as f**k need to be free to make new friends and fool around with them if we want to,” Justin said.

“Yeah. You’re right. About everything. And all the things you’ve just said…those are the reasons why I tried to push back from you that evening at the BK. I’m just sorry about the way I did it.”

“Apology accepted. Now, hot stuff, is there any reason we can’t keep on being boyfriends until you leave for Interlochen?”

Gary’s smile started small and then broadened. “Hell no. Wanna fool around?”

Justin laughed. “I can’t tonight, babe. Like I said, I’ve got those papers to work on. And so do you, don’t you?”

“Nope. Mine are done!”

“God, you’re anal!” Justin said, grinning.

“How would you know, stud?”

“We gotta cut out this kind of talk or I’ll never get home tonight. And you don’t want your folks to find us humping each other on the floor here, do ya?”

“We could do it in my room,” Justin suggested. “They know what we do up there.”

“Look, I’ve got another idea. We’re not going to the prom this weekend. But let’s spend that evening together. The restaurants will all be full of the prom crowd. So why don’t you come to my house? We’ll order in pizza, get some flicks from Blockbuster, and make a night of it. Maybe Mom would like to go spend the night or even the weekend with Grandma Mary in Toledo.”

“You know, that could be more fun than the prom. Especially if we have your house to ourselves.”

“Once she understands the situation, I’m pretty sure she’ll go along.”

“Yeah, you and I are both lucky to have cool parents.” Then Gary looked stricken. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Dad was the coolest. It’s getting easier to think and talk about him now than it was right after he died. And Mom’s great, too. But right now I really gotta get to work on those papers.”

Gary asked, “Hug me before you go?”

They scooted across the sofa to each other. The hug, which turned into a groping session, lasted so long, Justin almost forgot about doing his homework.