Monster
1676 Words
Rion’s POV
Monster.
That’s what they whisper when they think I’m out of earshot. Even my own men. Even William, the only one brave enough to look me in the eye. “Born under the blood moon,” they say. “A monster with no heart, no soul, no feelings.” Incapable of joy, sadness, pain. Love? Rage? Happiness? They were all like empty words.
I never understood why they mattered.
As a pup, I’d catch lizards in the woods just to watch them up close. Slice them open slow, curious about the way the insides moved, shiny and wet. Why did they twitch like that? Why did the other kids run screaming? I didn’t feel bad. I didn’t feel anything.
There was that one boy…sixteen, same age as me. I tied him up in the old shed after he called me a freak. Cut shallow lines across his arms, his chest. I watched his face twist, eyes bulge, mouth open in screams that echoed off the walls.
I found it very interesting… the expressions on his face.
But the screaming? The tears? I leaned in closer, trying to figure it out. Why scream when red comes out? It’s just liquid. It’s just biology.
The Royal elders wanted me dead, gone and erased. They whispered how mine was a cursed birth on the night the moon ran red. How my presence in the kingdom will only lead to ruin.
But my parents didn't give in.
My mother swore I cried that day…real tears, loud and messy. “You’re not a monster,” she’d say, cupping my face. “You’re my son.”
Father’s royal blood saved us back then. The Royal council banished us instead of killing me. They gave my father land far away, let him build his own pack. The Blood Moon Pack.
We became the nightmare story other packs and the entire realm told their pups…’stay in line, or the monster Alpha will come for you.’
Mother tried so hard to teach me. She’d make faces in the mirror…big smiles for happy, frowns for sad, gritted teeth for angry. “Copy me, Rion,” she’d beg. When I stared blank, she’d sigh and keep trying.
In her last months, cancer eating her from the inside, she took photos. Dozens of them. Smiling, crying, wincing, laughing. She hung them in a hidden room behind my chambers, a secret panel only I knew. “Study them,” she whispered. “One day you’ll need to know.”
Father lasted three days after she died. Couldn’t breathe without her, he said. Then he stopped breathing.
Enemies feared us. Rogues pissed themselves at our borders. Even my own pack members walked on eggshells, eyes down, voices low. Because their Alpha killed without blinking…just to see the faces change one last time before the light went out.
It was supposed to end the same way with this new fiancée.
William had worked miracles to arrange it. Political alliance. Strengthen borders. Every she-wolf before her lasted less than a day. They took one look at me…cold eyes, blank face…and ran. Or threatened to slit their own throats if forced to stay. I didn’t care. Marriage was strategy, not feeling.
This one didn’t come alone like the others. She came with her.
The second I stepped into the courtyard and saw her…bruised, bleeding, silent fury in her eyes…something exploded inside me.
The world has always been black and white when it comes to how I react to things. Gray shadows. Muted.
Then she looked up.
Feelings slammed into me like a bucket of paint, decorating my muted world. Emotions…raw, chaotic, overwhelming…flooded every empty corner of my chest. Protect. Claim. Kill anyone who touched her. Make her smile. Make her safe. Make her mine.
I didn’t understand it. Couldn’t process it.
Ray, my wolf, went berserk inside my head. Mate. Mate. MINE. MINE. MINE. Over and over like a broken record, frantically clawing at my control.
I shoved past the blonde one and carried my mate straight to my chambers. I needed her alone. I needed to understand the emotions. Needed to see the marks on her skin, find out who hurt her, make them bleed slower than they’d ever imagined.
But when I touched her…when I saw the bruises up close, felt her tremble…she fought back. Signed at me. Hands moving fast and desperate.
And then it hit me.
She couldn’t speak.
She was…wrong. Just like me. Broken.
An emotion roared through me…hot, unfamiliar, sickening. I yanked her up, shoved the blanket at her, and threw her out.
The door slammed after her and I stood there, chest heaving, staring at the door like it had betrayed me.
Ray howled inside my skull. What did you DO? That’s MATE. Our MATE. Go get her! Fix it!
But I didn’t know how. How could two broken people be whole?
The feelings were still there…crashing, burning, confusing. Protectiveness twisted with something sharp and painful. Regret? Was that regret?
My hands shook as I stumbled to the hidden panel, shoved it open, and stumbled into the secret room. Mother’s photos stared back from the walls…smiling, frowning, laughing, crying.
I scanned them frantically. What face was this? This tight chest, this urge to break down the door and drag her back inside, wrap her in furs, kill anything that looked at her wrong?
Happy? No.
Angry? Not quite.
Sad? Maybe.
All of them at once?
I pressed a palm to one photo…Mother wincing, eyes squeezed shut. Pain. Was this pain?
Ray snarled. She’s out there alone. Hurt. Scared. Because of YOU and you’re looking at pictures?!
Damn it.
I left the room, locked the panel and paced my room like a caged animal.
The need was overwhelming. Shield her. Keep her close. Make the sad face go away forever. Find whoever marked her skin and peel it off inch by inch while they begged.
But I’d thrown her out.
Like trash.
Because she couldn’t speak.
Because she reminded me of myself?
How could the Moon Goddess twist her hand so cruelly…turn me into a monster and leave my mate trapped in silence?
What sin did we commit in past lives to deserve a bond so broken, so imperfect?
Ray snapped at me. i***t. She’s perfect. She’s OURS. She can’t speak, but we can!
A loud knock sounded at the main door just then and I froze.
Her scent slipped under the door first…wildflowers crushed under rain, mixed with old blood. It punched straight through my chest, lighting every nerve on fire.
Mate.
My heart…did hearts do this? It slammed against my ribs without control.
Ray went feral. Mate. Open. Now. Let her in!
I crossed the room in three strides and yanked the door open.
She stood confidently with the angry face on. She was still wrapped in that rough blanket like armor, bare feet planted firmly on the stone, chin high. Eyes…Goddess, those eyes…burned straight into mine. Bruises still painted her skin, but she looked ready to fight the entire pack bare-handed.
Beautiful.
Terrifying.
Mine.
She raised her index finger, held it up between us like a command: wait.
And I did, as though I’m hers to command.
She stepped closer. Close enough that the heat of her body brushed mine. Close enough that her scent flooded my lungs until I couldn’t think.
Then she leaned in and sniffed me.
Not subtle. Not shy. Full-on, deliberate, nose almost touching my chest, dragging my scent in like she was testing poison. Her hair brushed my arm and it felt so soft and warm.
Everything inside me detonated.
Colors seemed to explode brighter. Emotions slammed into me so hard my knees buckled. Protect. Claim. Touch. Keep. Mine.
A roaring need to drop to my knees and beg her to stay almost overwhelmed me. A sharp ache vibrated behind my ribs like something cracking open after being frozen forever. My heart thundered so loud I swear she heard it.
I swayed, feeling lightheaded as my vision tunneled. The world tilted like the floor had suddenly turned liquid.
She pulled back just enough to look up at me with a disgusted face.
And flipped me off.
Middle finger straight in my face. Inches from my nose. Steady as steel.
Yeah. I understood that sign perfectly.
Her lips didn’t move, but her eyes said everything: f**k you.
Then she turned and marched past me down the corridor like she owned the entire pack house.
I stood there, the door still open, staring after her. The second her scent faded…the second that wildflower warmth vanished from the air…something snapped.
The world reset back to normal.
The colors drained. The new emotions that had just exploded inside me sucked backward, dragging everything with them. My chest caved in as my vision blackened at the edges.
I took one step forward to…chase? Beg? I don’t know. But my legs gave out as my face met the floor.
But I didn’t feel pain.
Ray howled inside my skull, frantic, clawing to shift, to run after her.But the darkness swallowed me whole.
I passed out cold on the threshold of my own chambers, door wide open, like a broken statue guarding an empty room.
When I regained consciousness, William was crouched beside me, face pale with worry.
“Alpha?” His voice shook. “Goddess, what happened? Did it happen again?”
I knew what he was referring to. And thankfully, it didn’t happen again.
I pushed up on trembling arms with my nose bleeding. But worse was the hollow ache where those feelings had been.
“How long?” I rasped.
“I just got here, and saw you on the floor.”
Where is she?
Ray snarled, pacing furiously. Find her. Bring her back. Fix this. Fix us.
William tried to help me stand but I shook him off and staggered to my feet alone. I pressed a hand to the wall to steady
myself.
For the first time in my life, I felt something clear and sharp and undeniable.
Loss.
- Writer
