Wolf Bound

9 - She's so upset

Damian

“Baby, calm down.” I grab River’s hands away from her head.

I never expected to find River slumped in the corner of the bedroom, rocking herself back and forth, tears falling from her eyes when I got out of the shower. The only reason I didn’t get in with River was because I knew she’d be sore. I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from fuckin.g her in the shower, and River’s ass needs to rest for a few hours.

The mating heat hit us hard, and we’ve been fuckin.g like rabbits for the past couple of days. But after what happened in the forest, it seems to have settled down.

When I walked out of the bathroom to find River in the corner of the room, wearing baggy pink pajamas from my sister’s stash, I couldn’t pull my sweats on fast enough.

I don’t know what set River back like this, but I can’t let her clam up. My mate needs to get the pain out, regardless of how difficult it may be to tell me whatever it is she’s hiding. I know that it’s something massive; she wouldn’t be like this if it weren’t.

I take River’s chin in my hand and gently force her to look at me. The sadness flowing from River pushes against me, making my heart ache.

“Talk to me. Please tell me what’s going on inside your head. Whatever it is, tell me, and we can work through it together.”

River takes my hand and holds it against her cheek, eyes closed for a moment.

I wait patiently until River opens her eyes, letting me see the beauty of those icy blues.

“I’m scared, Damian.”

“Of what?”

“I know that I shouldn’t be scared, not to tell you the truth. But the fact is that I am because I’m terrified that I’ll lose you.” She clutches at my face with both hands, and I can see the urgency in her eyes. “I don’t want to lose you. Please, Damian, please.”

My heart breaks for my mate. She’s so desperate, yet I don’t know why, and I don’t know how to help her.

“River, please calm down. You’re not going to lose me, I promise. No matter what you have to tell me, I will never leave you because you are everything to me.”

River drops her head and lets out a long sob that cuts me deep.

“They made me,” She mumbles.

“They made you what? River, look at me.” She does. “Whatever you’ve been holding inside is breaking you. I can’t bear seeing you like this; it’s killing me. Tell me what happened. Get it out there, and once you have, things won’t seem so bad.”

River nods her head.

“When Doctor Dever told my parents that he could fix me, they thought they were doing the right thing for me. My parents mean everything to me, and they love me so much. I have never doubted that a day in my life. They just wanted to help me, Damian.”

I nod my head in understanding.

“A Witch had mentioned to my father how she knew a man who could help me. Because my dad is the Alpha, everyone trusted his decision. Everyone in my pack wanted to find a way to help me, and I loved them all for it. They’d all accepted me as female when most would never understand. Well, one person didn’t, but she was thrown out of the pack for attacking me.”

I stroke the back of my knuckles down River’s soft cheek, and she smiles slightly. River believed that I’d have trouble accepting her as female, but I didn’t. I thought she was a girl when I first saw her in those dreams. It wasn’t until River explained that she’d been born male and could never transition that I believed her words.

Why would I think anything else when she looked so feminine?

River is who she is, and I love everything about her.

“I just wanted my parents’ suffering to end, and they suffered a lot after I became Wolf Bound.” River continues. “I still remember the day it happened. I was fourteen, an early shifter, and the whole pack was so proud of me. My brother’s Hunter and Racer were more than just proud. They’re identical twins, and I loved them so much. They’re ten years older than I am, yet they took me everywhere.”

I watch as River smiles fondly.

“Something happened to me after my third time shifting. I was alone in the forest when a Rogue came out of nowhere,”

My eyes widen because we all know how vile rogues can be.

“He mocked me for being scared. Then he said I was the prettiest little girl he’d ever seen. Even then, I had long hair and long lashes. I tried to tell him that he’d gotten it wrong. I thought that if I could convince him I was a boy, he’d leave me alone. But he wouldn’t listen, and he attacked me, pinned me down, and tried to. . .”

Fuc.k, no!

“I tried to fight him off, but he was huge and angry. I screamed so loudly, hoping someone would save me. My brother, Hunter, came out of nowhere and tore the Rogue apart. I don’t know, after that day, I couldn’t get what almost happened out of my head. I transformed one night, then I couldn’t shift back.

“No one knew what had happened, and it didn’t matter how many Witches or Oracles my parents brought home; none could help me. Not one person seemed to know why I was stuck. My dad mentioned seeking counsel with the Lycan King and Queen, but the King sent others because he couldn’t get away from his duties. Then the Supreme Alpha and Luna came to visit the pack.”

River sighs.

My Lycan King and Queen visit every pack in Lykos at least once every couple of years, sometimes longer, depending on their schedule. What packs they can’t visit, they send my grandparents in their stead.

My grandparents are always busy with their duties, yet they make time for the family. Goddess, and there are a lot of us these days. River is part of the family, and I can’t wait to show her off to everyone.

But I can’t do that until we get through whatever is hurting River. I’m scared, though, of where her story is going. I’d bear any pain River needed me to, but I hate that she’s been through so damn much in her short life.

“My mom told your grandmother about me.” River sniffs. “Anja looked at Saltan, and he strangely went to her when he wouldn’t go to anyone else other than Hunter. He trusted Hunter because he was the one who saved us; anyone else, and Saltan would feel threatened. Even my parents and Racer couldn’t get through to him. But there was something about Anja that settled that fear in my Wolf.

“Anja looked into Saltan’s eyes, and she saw me. She said, ‘A girl with male parts is still a girl if she believes. The Wolf will stay male, but he’ll always love you.’ I was shocked because no one outside the pack knew about me in that way, but Anja did.

“That’s when Anja told my mother that she believed the trauma of what happened with the Rogue had forced me to become Wolf Bound. It was a way for me to protect myself, and for my Wolf to protect me from pain.

“The trouble was, even the Supreme Luna didn’t know how to undo what I’d done to myself. No one knew anything, and I feared that I would be stuck that way forever.

“That’s why I went with Doctor Dever because I’d been Wolf Bound for eight years already, and I wanted help. I wanted to believe that this doctor could free Saltan and me from the hell we lived in, and then I could find you and we’d be okay.”

I hold River’s hands in mine, just to show her some kind of comfort. I won’t interrupt her while she speaks. I won’t because River needs this.

“I was wrong, Damian. I was so wrong.”

My stomach churns because I have a feeling what River is about to tell me will break me.