The Deceit… Through Black Beauty’s Eyes.

On 12-27-81 at 3:30 am, a cold and Wintery day, I, aka Dimples, was born at Underwood Memorial Hospital in Deptford, New Jersey. From that day, it was the beginning of my crazy journey. I was always told that I was a happy baby, my grandmother would hand make me clothing and I would be running around the house, as if I had no worries nor cares. Dimples is what my family called me, due to the deep indentations on my cheeks. As I can remember, those were the good ole days. As time passed, certain things started happening in my life that I was too young to understand. All I did know was that life was starting to be my reality. Mary, who is my mother, Fatimah, who is my sister, and I used to live in a clubhouse on 58th and Market Street in 1983. My mom's husband, Tim Sr., was a member of a motor-cycle club, called the wheels of souls. I did not know if my mother loved her husband or not, but I do know they really liked to party together. I used to listen to the parties that were going on in the clubhouse, wishing (Damn) I wanted to go and party with them at the age of 3. Mary would bring me food and snacks, to the area where Fatimah and myself would be in the clubhouse. Mary would care for Fatimah and me before returning to the party, but before mom would leave, she would always say to us, "love my babies and do not come out of the room." Mom would leave and lock the door behind her. I really do not know why our stay was short at the clubhouse, but we were not there for long. The clubhouse family took care of us as if we were their own. It was a bitter/sweet moment for Fatimah and me to leave the wheels of Soul Family behind. Mom ended up moving in with my grandparents, aunts, and cousins in Williamstown, NJ. My family used to call that house the big red house, down the dirt road. When you walked in the red house, you would think you were in a mini mansion. s**t coming from a clubhouse to a house like this, I thought my grandparents were f*****g rich. What house has a jacuzzi hot tub in the master bedroom? Well, my grandparents did!! When it came to my mother and her children, we were always the black sheep of the family, due to my mother’s actions, from her childhood. Apparently my mom ran away from my grandparents home, when she was pregnant with me and went to north Philly, marrying who I thought was my father. Since then, my mom was criticized from her parents and siblings. Living at my grandparents home, felt different. There were no more parties, no more staying up late, and no more feeling loved by an entire family. We were all used to staying in 1 bedroom, and to say mom was pregnant again with my little brother. My grandfather was something different. The whole family feared him, including my mother. Everything was set around him and I didn’t know why. He would leave out for work early in the morning, arrive back home around noon, while my grandmother would be watching the young and the restless. Storm would eat his lunch and sit in his recliner chair, that no one was allowed to sit on, while he eat, he would not say a word to anyone. I didn’t ask any questions, I just fell in routine. This one particular day, I realized why my aunts and cousins was scared of storm, whom they called my grandfather!!! My mom, all my cousins, and myself were outside playing. My grandparents had all this land with a long dirt road, you had to drive down to get to. I was riding a tricycle bicycle, which is a bike with 3 wheels. My mom was yelling at me, not to go far down the dirt road, but me being hard headed I kept going. I turned around when I wanted to. When I arrived back to the house, my grandfather asked me, Dimples did you hear what your mother was saying. I replied, yes grandpa. He said go get ready for your shower, I skipped in the house, as if I had no worries not knowing what was about to happen. I turned the water on and got in the shower. I heard the door open up, I said,”I am in the shower”. My grandfather said I know, he repeated the question, that he asked me before I went in. Storm said, “did you hear your mother calling you,” I said yes. Storm tore my ass up, while I was wet in the shower. I never had a beaten in my life, my mom was a yeller not a beater. Now I see why nobody played with him! My mom was so upset, but she couldn’t say anything. After that, I have seen my grandfather fight my 2 aunts and my mom, while mom was pregnant. I used to be like, what the f**k they are grown and getting beat by their father. Again too young to understand what was going on. My mom had my brother (Tim Jr.) at this point. Mom’s husband was in the city trying to get us a place, so that we can be together again. I was ready to go and I wasn’t, I was confused. My mom was doing good, while with my grandparents, but when my mom was in Philadelphia, she was different. I couldn’t explain the difference in her. I had good times at the red house and bad times as well. The beatings were not fun at all. I gotten introduced to the belt as well as the back scratcher. Sometimes me looking back now, I was a mess. My cousin Linda, who I think couldn’t stand me, would always fight on me. This one day, we were playing. I don’t know how I ended up on the floor, but Linda kicked me in my ass. It’s was not hard, but I feed into my grandmother. My grandma yelled at Linda, saying you could have hurt Dimples by kicking her. If you hurt her, I am going to whoop your tail. Grandma never cursed, due to her religion. So Linda said, I didn’t kick her hard, all I heard from grandma was, whoop and tail (laughing). I wanted to see Linda get beat, so I started crying. Linda got beat, I was laughing hard in side, trying to hide my face. Linda was saying, I was faking and I really was, she is bigger than me and always messing with me. To see Linda, get beat was exciting. My mom and grandma took me to the hospital, my mom was saying Dimples stop playing, you always playing too much. If nobody knew me, my mom did. Mom said, Dimples I am going to get you some cookies, if you get up off this table and walk. I got my ass up off that table and walked. My mom was laughing so hard, I felt that miracle; after that my cousin did not play with me or talked to me no-more, cause I got her in trouble. To say less, I started making up things to get attention from my grandparents.