Falling Again

4 days later after my birthday It’s pouring heavily outside while im at my room sitting beside my window staring outside while raining. A car suddenly stop at my house and a man came out the car running through the gate of my house and knocking loudly. It was Emman, Emman knocking countless times.i looked at him in my window And take a deep breath so I got up and went downstairs to see him so he can stop knocking ang calling me I opened the door and asked him…. “What are you doing here?” I asked “Are you okay? I’ve tried calling you many times but you didn’t reply or pick up my calls. I was so worried.” Emman replied I can see the face of him that he was so worried to me, but I just reply “ Go home, Emman” I replied while saying this I was about to close the door, then he immediately stop the door closing and asked me. “ Whats’s wrong? Are you okay?” “Let’s stop this.” I said this words while stopping my tears to fall. I can see the expression of emmans face that he was so confused. “What? What do you mean? Emman replied while trying to keep smiling and thinking it was just a joke and prevents crying. “Let’s stop this right here.im tired, Can’t you see, im so tired of everything eversince the day I met you and the time I got close to you to the point when we are together there so many times I was almost hurt since the day I loved you.” “ did i neglected you? I never let anyone to approached or touch you, I did not let them to hurt you because I love you.” Emman replied while crying and begging “Can’t you understand? I want to be out of your life. I’s so f*****g tired of everything so please let’s stop this already and stay away from me I don’t want to see you anymore.” I replied. Emman hugged me tightly and begging while crying not to leave him I know it hurts but I really need to leave and hurt him just to make sure he wouldn’t get hurt and in trouble. I tried to let go of his hug and push him and told him that….”I don’t love you anymore!!! Is that what you want to hear? Yes emman it’s true I don’t have any feeling for you. I don’t love you and I don’t need you in my life so please stop and just go home.” I closed the door and leave him outside the house while raining. I shut the door and tears streamed down my face; I couldn't stop crying and sat on the floor, sobbing and whispering, "I'm so sorry countless times." I told myself that I had hurt the man I loved, but I had no choice.