Under The Sun

when the father of my children passed away,it's somehow the news I had expected but never new that it would hurt this much..a tear forms in my heart as I look at how much my children are struggling to be strong for me since am in the edge of breaking..I had to hold on to the one thing I had for him in my heart" hatred".I hated him so much that I felt relieved when his dad announced his death to me.i thought that that could heal my broken heart but it didn't. why do I have this feeling,my heart broke the second time..I went into state of confusion.i had no emotional.i was numb.i watched as they laid him to rest as my husband's mistress parade herself and my in-laws at the grave to give a show..I decided enough was enough.i grabbed the b***h by the hair and threw her in the grave,I wish she could be buried on top of the stupid man I once called sweetheart.. everyone was shocked as they ran to pin me down and rescue Maggie,her name from falling into the grave..I was burning with hunger and didn't want anyone talking to me or giving me a lecture. that when my life dawned on me that jerrad had messed up my life..I cried myself to sleep at night and appear strong during the day for my children.