Pieces of mind

‘We come into this world clean, but we also come into this world weak. But even with our weakness and circumstance, we do not have to leave the same way. We are Kochi…. -excerpt from articles of the Kochi These are the words engraved in me as a kid, doctrine passed from elder to child in our old and yet small village. We are Kochi. We are warriors, hunters, writers, poets and whatever else we need or want to be. There are many tribes in the land but none like ours. We take care of each other. We speak truth tempered with love. We fight amongst ourselves as everyone does and must at times but only with words and fists, never with rocks and spears. We have no names until the elders decide we are worthy of them. As of now I have yet to earn mine.  Once a name has been earned the elders set us up with another named partner and we love them as our parents loved. We address each other as Kochi because regardless of our names we are one. “Young Kochi,” “old Kochi” or any of a number of variations, it does not matter for we are one and we know who we are. Our tribe holds a naming ceremony every year for those that have earned it, during which the Kochi elders read and verse us in the articles written and passed down by the founders of our village. They are the only thing close to written law we have. We trade with other villages from time to time when we are on speaking terms and in our communing with them, we realize they are not like us. There has been so much pain, war, and death amongst their tribe members that they have no knowledge of their founders or history. They are merely shades and remnants of a culture. They have too few true elders. The history of who they are and where they came from is lost. Their tribes and names are merely ways to distinguish themselves, they hold no weight or truth in their hearts, they do not believe in who they are or know what it means to be that. We are not like them. we are Kochi the Kochi are my family, my brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers…I AM KOCHI … and that means something.  We are one tribe and one people. And yet the other tribes, from the Tonsu’s to the Cokras, they are single tribes with many people. they do not unite under one banner unless another tribe has marshalled against them and even then, they fight and bicker and hurt each other as they bicker over things that would only benefit themselves to be resolved. And what is worse, when we showed compassion and offered to share in our knowledge and teachings, they laughed at us. “Hah! we do not need your one tribe one people every man and women is the master of their own destiny let them focus on themselves and decide for themselves the best way to live and the best way to die now do you want to buy a goat or not?!” I wept for them… they do not understand we have pride, knowledge, freedom, safety, and community. And they have only a name. They have only the sand in their sandals and desires in their singular hearts. When they love and marry, they just love and marry anybody and are loved only by the families they create and the things they control and sometimes not even that much. They are lost and do not even know it. Destiny and purpose should not be something to figure out. It is the responsibility of the elders to give us the right pathway forward so that we do not leave this world the same way we come in. We are Kochi, we are one. When we die, we die carrying the pride and knowledge of our people. We are Kochi and we stand together in all seasons. But when they die no matter if it is in war with a tribe, a neighbor or themselves, they all die the same. They die in ignorance, alone with names they have not earned and with people who send them into the next life without a thought beyond the job they have been tasked with. They could care less about the lives of the brethren they should be honoring. We call them nameless and yet they call us…strange. Some in our tribe have developed a deep sense of dislike and mistrust of them. I do not wish to speak ill of the nameless but in my heart I cannot deny the wrongness I feel in their presence. Some Kochi say, “How can we trust or do business with people no better than animals?” Quickly the elder’s step in to call down such talk. “There is no fault to the bird when it’s wings have been clipped. Pray we remain strong and do not share the same fate.” I understand all that, but I still cannot bring myself to accept it. Look at the way they celebrate, yes, they have songs, and they dance but we have music we sing, and every note rings out and connects us to every Kochi that has ever walked this land. We dance, we step, we sway in perfect rhythm and every stomp echoes out across time and space. When we celebrate it is not just with ourselves or the occasional partner it is with the love, sorrow, pride, joy, and strength of every Kochi that has ever walked the land. Honestly, I do not know what they sing or dance about. I do not hear the voices of their people behind them. We are connected in mind, body, and spirit and it shows in the way we live I cannot quite imagine how empty it would be to be so disconnected and…alone. “It is not their fault…be kind to them,” I hear the elders saying over and over…at times it makes me want to throw goat poop at them. We call them nameless and yet they call us strange… I found myself walking alone through the valley and stumbled upon a stranger camping out around a fire. I was curious and I asked, “Do you mind if I talk with you?”   He looked at me smiled and said, “Unusual for a Kochi to be willing to talk beyond arguing over goats and calling people nameless or whatever but sure.” I sat down. “Do you know what you have lost? How does it feel to have nothing and be alone?” He responded, “Honestly it feels like every other day, literally just another day. I have listened to your people and watched how they dance, live, and treat each other and I have felt on occasion that loss you pity us for. I understand that you Kochi have things that me and my tribe do not, but that does not make us ‘nameless’ as you say. We are different and that does not make us less. Everything you have was given to you and I understand how that can be comforting and more than anything I imagine being able to trust in everyone in the tribe to do right by you is beautiful. But in mine eyes, I also find it limiting. You are born, live, and die Kochi. We are born, live, and die however we want. Can you honestly not see how while we may be nameless and alone at times we have the freedom to be unique. You Kochi are indistinguishable. You were told who you were and who you should be. Your beliefs and teachings are so thick and thorough that you have no desire or thought to question them. We are allowed to create who we are. Can you not imagine what it is like to truly be able to be whoever you want, go wherever you want, and even love whoever you want We are freer than you can ever imagine. You may pity us and for some very good reasons. but we also pity you.” His words struck me to the core and I jumped up in a fury and ran off. glancing over my shoulder I saw him sitting by the fire watching me flee and he looked...sad. I grew angry, “YOU WILL NOT PITY ME YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS LOST!” I yelled as I kept running his words ringing “we also pity you....” He is wrong we are Kochi we are freer…. “you are indistinguishable,” the words reverberating in my head. “Shut up,” I screamed, running harder than ever before “I am free…I am free. . . I am free...”