How To Love

I Am A Man Part 1

It was hours later when Doojoon had finally returned to the dorm. He had taken a long drive to the Han river to clear his mind. Not that it had helped much. The only thing it helped him do was compose himself to a certain degree. He still felt wound up and knew he would lose it, sooner then later. Doojoon walked into the dorm ignoring Ella and headed straight for his room. She jumped off the couch and followed after him.

"You're back really early! How did it go?" She asked excitedly, practically bouncing around him "Oppa, I want details!"

"Why did you set me up?" Doojoon stopped walking making her crash into his back and stumble. His fists were clenched, trying to keep his anger under control.

"You didn't like her?" She asked deflated, a small frown on her face. She rubbed her forehead to ease the pain of walking into his back. It felt like she walked into a wall.

Doojoon spun around and pushed Ella against the wall making her gasp in surprise. He stared down at her intensely, trying to convey all of his feelings in one look. His one arm above her head while he placed his hand on her neck. Keeping her trapped between his body and the wall. She gulped suddenly feeling like her throat was dry.

"I never asked you to help me find a girl. You're making it harder for me to be around you." Doojoon looked into her eyes and leaned close to her face.

"Oppa..." She looked at him bewildered by his anger. He had never gotten mad at her before.

"I told you I'd take care of it myself. Do you really not understand what the problem is? Junhyung can tell, why do you think he wanted to set me up?" He asked fuming, holding her in place by the top of her arms.

"He said he wanted you to have happiness too..." Ella whispered innocently, eyes starting to glisten.

Doojoon laughed darkly.

"Find happiness? He was afraid that I'd steal his."

Ella was surprised by his words. She stared at him speechless, not knowing what to do or say.

"I've reached my limit." Doojoon pulled her towards his room and shoved her inside, locking the door behind them.

Ella stumbled and spun around to face him, panic starting to settle in. Doojoon was taking deep breathes with his forehead pressed against the door.

"Is it so bad to want a piece of that happiness for myself?" He asked pleadingly with a low voice as he turned around to face her.

"Doojoon...I'm sorry. Just calm down a little..." Ella tried to defuse the situation, sensing his danger rolling off him. It was a shock for her. Having never witnessed this side of his personality, she felt fear start to form inside. Fear of how things would never be the same between them.

"How can I?" Doojoon was walking slowly towards her.

Like he was hunting prey that would run at any abrupt movement.

"I'm with Junhyung, this will destroy everything you guys worked for. I'm not worth losing all that." She walked backwards as he got closer. Her mouth was suddenly extremely dry. Her palms were clampy. Nothing had ever made her this nervous. Not even performing on stage.

"Aren't you?" Doojoon asked, his hand caressed her cheek. Sliding down to her neck and resting slightly against her exposed skin above her heart, lightly caressing the skin with his thumb.

"I won't tell Junhyung about this, so lets just stop here ok." Ella avoided making eye contact with him as she removed his hand from her neck, and attempted to walk past him to the door.

Doojoon grabbed her arm and pulled her back. Wrapping his arm around her waist he pulled her to him and kissed her. She struggled against him trying to push away. He refused to let go and walked her backwards until her knees buckled against the bed. She scooted backwards trying to get away from him.

Doojoon crawled with her and layed his body flat against hers. He kissed her neck and inhaled her scent.

"I want you." He whispered huskily into her ear.

Her heart skipped a beat. She could feel all of his hard muscles pressed against her body. He looked into her eyes and when he saw the blush on her face he couldn't take it anymore. He nipped at her bottom lip until she opened her mouth, sucking on her tongue until she whimpered. He put his hands on her lower back, making her body press closer to his.

Ella's mind was fuddled. Doojoon kissed her deeply, roughly. Like he wanted to meld them together. She had never been kissed like this. Junhyung's kisses were gentle. On the few occasions that he tried to go further he would let up when she pushed him away. Even when he was sexually frustrated. Perhaps it was because she had never been touched by anyone before, but her resolve to fight him was quickly slipping away.

Doojoon's hand slid from her lower back to her ass, pressing her closer to his bulge as he rolled his hips against hers. She gasped, her hands clutching onto his shoulders helplessly. He stopped kissing her and took his shirt off along with his jeans. Throwing them away from the bed haphazardly. He pulled her shirt over her head and roughly tugged off her shorts, tossing them onto the floor with his clothes.

"W-wait!" She stuttered trying to catch her breath, grabbing a pillow for cover. Her face was red as a tomato. He had undressed them faster then her mind could register.

"I am a man. There's no stopping now." Doojoon stared at her with hungry eyes. Grabbing ahold of the pillow and threw it out of his way. He sucked on her neck and grinded against her until the only sounds she made were moans.

He reached for the clasp on her bra and she pushed at his shoulder, feeling nervous. He kissed her again. The sheer force of his lust and passion making her hands fall meekly. He took off her bra and slid his hand along her rib-cage. Doojoon flicked his eyes up at her, and the look he gave her made her breath hitch. She looked away from him, her face red. He hovered over her and kissed her cheek.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked softly.

"No..."