How To Love

Snapped

It was a few hours later when Clark finally returned to the loft. He had taken a long run to clear his mind. One mile became two. Two became five. Eventually he'd stopped counting.

It hadn’t helped. If anything, the longer he'd been alone, the more he'd thought about everything that had happened.

Lana asking him to see a movie.

Racing him down the stairs.

Singing beside him in the car.

Grabbing his hand when they crossed the street.

For one stupid hour, Clark had let himself believe maybe something had changed.

Then Sora appeared.

He should've known better.

By the time he finally came home, the loft was quiet.

Jimmy and Evan were nowhere in sight.

Lana was curled up on the couch, scrolling through her phone.

She looked up the second the door opened.

"You're back!"

Clark didn't answer.

He kicked off his shoes and headed toward the hallway.

Lana jumped off the couch and followed him.

"You're back really early. How did it go?"

Nothing.

She hurried to catch up.

"I want details. Did you like her?"

Clark stopped so suddenly that Lana crashed directly into his back.

"Ow!" She stumbled backward and rubbed her forehead. "Jesus, you're like a wall."

Clark slowly turned around.

"Why did you set me up?"

The excitement disappeared from her face.

"What?"

"Why did you set me up?"

"You didn't like her?"Lana lowered her hand.

"That's not what I asked."

"I thought you two might hit it off.” Lana tried to explain.

"I told you I wasn't interested." His voice wasn't loud.

Somehow, that made Lana more uncomfortable.

"I know, but Jason thought—"

"Jason." Clark laughed under his breath."Of course this was Jason's idea."

There was nothing amused about it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lana frowned.

"It wasn't just his idea."

"I never asked you to find me a girl."Clark's jaw clenched.

"I was trying to do something nice."

"For who?" He asked bitterly.

"You."Lana stared at him.

"No, you weren't."

"What the hell is your problem?"Her eyebrows pulled together.

Clark looked away.

He shouldn't say it. He knew he shouldn't.

But weeks, months, of swallowing everything he'd wanted to say suddenly felt impossible.

"You're making it harder for me to be around you." He groaned.

"What?"Lana went still.

Clark looked at her again.

Confusion filled her face.

Genuine confusion.

That somehow made it worse.

"Do you really not understand?"Clark took a step toward her.

"Understand what?" Lana didn't move.

"I told you I'd deal with my own love life. And you ignored me."

"Because you never date anyone!"

"Maybe there's a reason for that." Lana stared at him.

For a second, neither of them spoke. Then she shook her head.

"Jason said he wanted you to be happy too."

"Happy?"Clark let out a dark laugh.

"Yes."

"Jason isn't worried about my happiness."His eyes met hers.”He’s afraid I’ll steal his.”

She stared at him speechlessly

Something strange flashed across Clark's expression.

His eyes looked brighter. Almost unnaturally blue.

Lana blinked.

It was gone.

"Jason knows me better than you think."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked bewildered.

Clark stepped closer. "Nothing."

"No. Don't do that." She crossed her arms annoyed.

"Do what?"

"Say something cryptic and then act like I'm supposed to understand it."

Clark's fists clenched at his sides.

Lana had never seen him this angry before. Clark was usually the easiest person to be around.

"Clark?" She called his name when he didn’t respond.

"I've reached my limit."His eyes closed.

Lana's stomach twisted.

"With what?"

"You."Clark looked at her.

"Me?"She actually laughed, but it came out nervous.

"You have no idea what you're doing to me." Clark stepped closer.

The words wiped the smile from her face. Lana instinctively moved backward. Her back hit the wall.

Clark stopped in front of her.

For one strange second, neither moved.

Then Clark put one hand against the wall beside her head.

"Clark..."Lana's heartbeat picked up.

"Do you know what today was like for me?" He whispered, his eyes burning into hers.

"It was just a movie."She swallowed.

"You asked me to spend the day with you."His voice dropped.

"Because I needed to get you out of the apartment."

"I know that now." He said grufly.

Something about the way he said it made her chest tighten.

Clark looked down at her.

"For a little while, I thought..." He stopped.

"You thought what?" Lana asked softly.

"Forget it." His jaw flexed.

"No." Lana caught his wrist before he could move away. "You don't get to act like this and then tell me to forget it."

Clark looked at her hand around his wrist.

Then back at her.

"You really want me to say it?"

Suddenly, Lana wasn't sure.

Still, she nodded.

Lana released his wrist.

Clark moved closer.

Not enough to touch her.

Enough that she could feel the heat coming off him.

"I thought you wanted to be with me." His hand reached out to caress her cheek. Sliding down to her neck and resting slightly against the exposed skin above her heart, lightly caressing the skin with his thumb.

"Clark.." Lana's breath caught.

"I know you're with Jason." He looked away.

"Then why..."

"Because knowing something doesn't make it disappear."

"I won't tell Jason about this, so lets just stop here ok?" Lana removed his hand from her chest, and tried to step away. Her heart was beating much too fast and she didn’t want him to know. "I’m not worth destroying your friendship.”

“Aren’t you?” Clark's eyes snapped back to hers. He dragged a hand through his hair and turned away.

"I really thought you'd like her." Lana cleared her throat.

"That's the problem."Clark laughed quietly.

He looked at her for a long moment.

"I don't want her."

"Then who do you want?" Lana's mouth went dry.

Lana almost wished she hadn't asked. His gaze dropped briefly to her mouth.

Then returned to her eyes.

"Tell me to stop."

"Clark..." Her heart slammed against her ribs.

"Tell me." He whispered as he pressed himself closer to her, not giving her any room to move.

Everything about this was wrong. She had a boyfriend of six years. Clark was his friend, their friend.

But Lana couldn't make herself say the words.

Clark seemed to realize it at the exact same moment she did.

His breathing changed.

He leaned closer.

Lana's fingers curled into the front of his shirt before she even realized she'd reached for him.

His forehead rested against hers.

Still, he didn't kiss her.

"Last chance, sweetheart."

Lana closed her eyes.

She didn't know whether she moved first or he did.

Their lips met.

And every thought in her head disappeared.

It wasn't anything like kissing Jason.

There was nothing familiar about it.

Nothing comfortable.

Clark kissed her like he'd spent far too long trying not to.

Lana's fingers tightened around his shirt.

A strange warmth spread through her chest.

It startled her enough that she pulled away.

Both of them were breathing hard.

Clark stared down at her. For a second, his eyes looked impossibly blue again.

Maybe kissing her boyfriend's friend had finally short-circuited her brain.

"Oh my God." She covered her mouth.

The reality of what she'd just done crashed into her all at once.

Jason.

"You have no idea what you're doing to me.” He licked his lips.

“Clark just give me second to think.” She tried to push him away.

"I've reached my limit." Clark grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards his room, shoving her inside and locked the door behind them.

He turned to her and wrapped his arms around her wait, pulling her to him. She pushed against his chest as he kissed her. He refused to let go and walked her backwards until her knees buckled against the bed. She scooted backwards trying to put space between them.

Clark followed her movements, until he was on top of her. Caging her in with his arms, he kissed her neck and inhaled her scent.

“I want you." He whispered huskily into her ear.

He nipped at her bottom lip until she opened her mouth, sucking on her tongue until she whimpered. He put his hand on her lower back, pressing her body to his.

Lana's mind was foggy. She could feel all of his hard muscles pressed against her body. Clark kissed her deeply, roughly. Like he wanted to meld them together.

Jason’s kisses had never felt like this, like the world was disappearing.

Clark's hand slid from her lower back to her ass, pressing her closer to his bulge as he rolled his hips against hers. She gasped, her hands clutching onto his shoulders. Her hands slid down to caress his abs. Lana couldn’t help the desire that was taking over her common sense.

He stopped kissing her long enough to pull of his shirt and throw it to the side. He pulled her shirt over her head and roughly tugged off her shorts, tossing them onto the floor with the rest of his clothes.

“Wait..a second.” She stutted trying to catch her breath, grabbing a pillow for cover. He had undressed them faster than her mind could register.

"I am a man. There's no stopping now." Clark stared at her with hungry eyes. Grabbing a hold of the pillow and threw it out of his way.

He sucked on her neck and grinded against her until the only sounds she made were moans. He reached for the clasp on her bra and she pushed at his shoulder, feeling nervous.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked softly, and the look he gave her made her breath hitch.

"No..." Lana whispered licking her lips.

He kissed her again. The sheer force of his lust and passion shook her to the core. She couldn’t walk away now. He took off her bra and slid his hand along her rib-cage.