Drowned by the Waves (Tagalog)

Being ‘me’ is problematic. But everyone wishes to be in my position. “Daddy, everyone in the school calls me smart!” I excitedly said to my father as soon as I opened his office door. He just sits there looking at me strictly. “Who says what? You’re smart? Are you kidding me?” he laughed. I bowed my head because of that. Is it wrong to be called wise? “Remember, you aren’t smart. You’re just hardworking that makes you excel,” he firmly said. I nod at that statement. I am not smart. I am just hardworking, which makes me excel. I repeated in my mind. “Got it?” he asked. He stands up from his seat and gets near me. I nod. “Repeat what I just said,” he smiled. The kind of smile that makes everyone tremble. “I am not smart. I am just hardworking that makes me excel,” I firmly said. “Very good, child.” He smiled then got back on his seat. “What are you waiting for? Get out,” he said, then fixed his attention to the paper works. I nodded and smiled, then turned my back. Tears slowly chased down my cheeks as my heart clenched. “I am not smart. I am just hardworking which makes me excel,” I repeated once again as I got out of the office. Being the daughter of the best judge and businesswoman in our country is really hard. I had to live with expectations that I should be this and that. I can’t freely choose; I always need to think about the consequences of the decisions that I’ll make before doing it. The pressure added when my three siblings graduated with flying colors: a medical technologist, lawyer, and businessman who stands out in everything that they do. “I hope I can be like her. She’s so lucky to be part of their family.” “Right, they’re so rich. I want to live with a golden spoon too.” “She’s even so pretty, talented and smart. What will you expect given that she came from that family? Of course, she should be. Or else she’s not worth to be part of it.” “Look at the way she walks and dress. So elegant. So prim and proper. I thought we had a princess as a schoolmate every time I cross paths with her.” “True. More on a living Barbie doll. Look at her poise, she really looks like one.” “All we could do is dream to be like them. Dream and dream.” Their words keep lingering in my mind. They don’t know anything about me. They only see the front of our family; they never experience the things that I did. “What are you planning to get for your college degree?” my father asked one time when we were having dinner. I didn’t say anything because, honestly, I don’t know. I just want to graduate and make them proud. That’s my only goal. “What do you want me to get father?” I politely asked as I stopped slicing the piece of steak. We eat steak once a month because mother wants us to be slim and fit. “Maybe a science inclined course will do for me,” father said. I nod. I could do well in that field. “A degree in biology will do,” mother interrupted. “Yes, dear. That will do,” father said to mother. It’s settled then BS Biology is the one for me. “You want me to be proud of you?” my father asked. I firmly nodded. “Then, don’t let distractions lead you. Don’t let love lead you on to fantasies. Live in the reality. Hard work and efforts will never betray you, unlike people. So, detach yourself from them. Be acquainted with people who’ll benefit you, not on someone who’ll just drag you down. I’m counting on you, child.” He said and smiled darkly. I firmly nodded at what he said. But everything has turned upside down since then. Problems arise. I learned that the family I knew is not what I thought it would be; since then, I have promised to myself. I won’t let him drag me like this. I am of my own, and no one is allowed to treat me like that. “Are you really sure about this? Do you think you can defeat him? Scylla! You are just finding trouble for yourself! Please, I am worried for you. Don’t do this. We’ll think of another way.” “There’s nothing to stop me anymore, kuya. We need to stop this mess. Everything should be corrected. He needs to be punished.” But everything crumbled when I met him. My plan became different. I don’t want to risk my life anymore. I want to be with him. “Princess!” That is what he usually calls me. He thinks I am a living princess, but everything is a lie! They are all a lie that my father created for me.