That one moment

Chapter 8

Nicks pov. 

It's finally Friday and its been a great week so far me and Elle have become official but she doesn't want to tell anyone yet. She even agreed to meet my parents Saturday night, they are extremely excited. She is extremely nervous but I keep telling her they will love her.

I spoke to the principle Tuesday about what happened Monday to Elle, she told me because there is no proof or eye witnesses on who did it they cant do anything about it. It would just be Elle's word against Alicia's. As you can imagine that didn't sit well with me, so I have my back up plan, I'm sure you will find out soon enough what that is 

I get up and ready looking forward to seeing my Elle. She has a doctors appointment this morning so I wont be able to pick her up. I offered to take her to the doctors but she said no. "Son what does Ellie like to eat for tomorrow night" I hear my mum call out to me as I'm about to leave for school. "Fajitas. I bragged about how you make the best so there's a lot riding on this." I laugh out. 

"Our we picking up Ellie today" James asks while opening my door for me. I keep telling him to not do that. "Sadly not today James. She has a doctors appointment." I sigh out. 

We get to school and I make my way to history I sit in mine and Elle's usually seats. I see Alicia and Tori walk in, I still want to have a word with Tori I just want to know why she would do something so cruel to Elle. Alicia sits next to me. "That's Elle's seat" I inform her. "Well I don't see her anywhere. Besides I wanted to talk to you."

 "Oh yeah what about" I laugh out. "You dumping that fat loser and becoming my boyfriend" I look at her in disbelief "That's never going to happen" I tell her bluntly. The nerve of her. "Well I know you would do anything to keep her safe. She took Monday pretty badly. I wonder how she will react when everyone finds out that she's so worthless not even her father wanted to know her. Not even her step father wanted to spend time with her. Or how her brother died and she couldn't even save him. I cant believe she had never been kissed before Monday, what a loser, Also when I tell the whole school she's a pill popping drug abuser that should push her over the edge. However, I could keep all of what I heard to myself if you break up with her and become my boyfriend." She tells me smugly. What a f*****g b***h.

The teacher walks in and starts the lesson but me and Alicia quietly carry on our conversation.  "How did you even know all of that" "I put a small hidden mini microphone in your collar of your top when I whispered to you, I knew you would run after her I wasn't expecting to find out so much but I'm glad I did." "Why wait till now huh?" I feel the anger building up in me. "So I could get everything ready if you don't break up with her now, come lunch time the whole school will know everything. If you think she will survive the s**t she's going to get your dead wrong.""Why are you so f*****g evil." I spit out. "I want you Nicky. I have since I first saw you. I broke up with Jack for you and you want that fat b***h over me. I always get what I want and what I want is you!." "You know I'll never love you and If I ever did this it's only to protect her." I watch as she smugly smiles at me. She knows she got me if everyone finds out about Elle I don't know if she would survive this, what if I'm not enough to save her. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her but can I live with myself knowing I'll of hurt her. I told her I loved her 4 days ago. "Ok fine. I'll break up with her tonight after school. I'm not going to humiliate her in front of everyone. That is my only condition." "Fine. But Monday morning your telling everyone you dumped her for me." I nod in compliance. 

Thankfully the lesson ended I'm so pissed off I do not like being blackmailed. I wait for Elle by her locker. Oh God what do I tell her. The bell rings for our next lesson I see her rushing to her locker. "You made it just in time for P.E. how was the doctors" I ask her. "Its ok I just had to get some more tablets" Hearing her say that I know what I have to do it's for her own protection, she wont want anyone to know she's taken them. She shuts her locker door bringing me out my thoughts. "Hey you ok?" I hear her voice. "Oh yeah I'm ok sorry I just spaced out lets get going." We make our way to P.E. which is her least favourite lesson. As I enter the locker room to get changed I hear Jack calling me I turn to see him approaching me. "You'll regret stealing Alicia from me. Your nothing but a snake." I'm so confused what does he think is going on. "Mate, I don't want your f*****g bird. She's black mailing me into this." I spit out I'm still really pissed off about this whole situation I'm in. "Sure, don't worry MATE ill make sure you regret it." Oh here we go again what is that suppose to mean I wonder. I get ready for P.E. and see Elle standing on her own waiting for me. I head to her but see Alicia walking up to me. "Don't forget our deal or Monday morning her secrets are out." I glare at her and walk past to Elle. "What was that all about" she asks curiously. God it hurts lying to her. "Nothing just being her usual b***h self" 

She smiles at me "So I finished my list, my bucket list" I cant help but frown knowing I might not be able to keep my promise to her, she wraps her hands around my arm while  talking to me. My body tingles just from her touch, the thought of never feeling her again breaks my heart. She starts laughing and I honestly have no idea what she's saying I'm too deep in my own thoughts to concentrate. All I can think of is how much she will hate me after today. "Nicky are you listening we are playing tennis today. I went and got us rackets and a ball you ready?" I nod. I didn't even know the lesson had started, it's going to be a long day for me. We play tennis and I automatically watch everyone around us. I can see some people staring at Elle making snide comments when she runs. The thought of her being alone again is killing me. how can I promise her my all and take it away from her not even a week later. 

It finally gets to the end of the day luckily Alicia agreed to let me break this off after school. "Nick can I ask for a lift home?" she asks shyly. "Of course you don't need to ask you know I would do anything for you." Oh s**t that is probably not something I should of said. she climbs in the car after her and James greet each other. On the drive home James and Elle talked the whole time which I'm glad about because I feel to sick to talk I'm seriously dreading this. I walk her to her door like normal. She wraps her arms around me kissing me. I half kiss back half pull back. I cant lead her on like this. "I love you." She tells me in her beautiful soft voice. This is the first time she's said it freely normally she says it after me. "Elle I'm so sorry I got to go. I will speak to you later." She looks sad but nods, I watch as she goes into her house. I head back to the car and I'm physically stopping myself from breaking down. How the hell did my life get so complicated. 

I get home and go into the kitchen that's where my family usually are. I see mum baking and dad standing behind her he has his arms wrapped around her body and my mother is looking back at my dad I can see the love in their eyes, they start kissing and I interrupt them as much as I appreciate they are in love I don't need to see that. "Hey mum and dad you ok?" I ask they both answer and ask how I am. "Mum, dad can you take a seat I need your help." I let the tears role down my checks and my mum and dad sit I can see the worry in their faces. "Son what's wrong" my dad asks. 

"It's Elle. I'm being black mailed into breaking up with her. I don't want to but it's the only way to keep her safe." I cry out. "honey tell us all the facts so we know what were dealing with." my mum softly says. "We don't get pushed around by anyone" my dad states firmly. I wipe my face trying to calm down. "Monday you know what happened with Elle someone wrote that s**t on her locker and she fled. Well I found her at this lake and I took it as an opportunity to get to know her. She told me some really personal stuff that no one knows about. I didn't realise that the school b***h Alicia put a secret hidden microphone on me and she heard all of Elle's secrets. Today she told me if I don't break up with Elle she was going to plaster all of Elle's secrets all over the school. I have to break up with her this evening and then tell the whole school Monday that I'm going out with Alicia now. Elle is going to be crushed." 

"She's 15 or 16 how bad can her secrets be" My mums asks

"Well she told me about how her father never wanted her, how her step father doesn't like her, how she had a brother who died nearly a year ago which no one knows about, she told me that she has never been kissed and that she takes anti depressants and anxiety pills to help her get through the day, she told me that cause she has no friends she turns to food for company. Mum, Dad you don't know her like I do, she wont be able to take all the bullying. They threw a bin over her and told her to go kill herself on Monday and the scary part is she considered it she asked me if it would make everyone happy if she wasn't here any more. When I saw her at the lake I saw two bottles of pills next to her open I thought she tried to over dose, if the school finds out all this stuff about her the bullying is going to get worse. Alicia promised me no one would find out if we got together."

"Son why do you think she's so weak she cant survive, remember she has you I think she might be stronger than you give her credit for" I hear my mums input. 

"I … I don't think I'm enough if all this comes out. I have to keep her safe. The worst part is I told her she would always have me, I told her I would never hurt her, I told her I love her" I mumble in between sobs. I cant control the crying anymore. I don't even want to keep it in I want to just let it all out. I feel arms wrap around me and see Kylie hugging me. When the hell did she get here. We all look at her. "Sorry I over heard your conversation. I'm so sorry nick. What can I do to help?" she asks. I tell my family my plans and they willingly agree to help I was certain my dad would go against me as I need his help and money the most but he wants to help. My phone pings making me break out of my hug with my sister I see its Elle and a smile appears on my face.

"Hey, I was trying to do our English essay and all I could think of was you. Have I upset you, you have been a little off. I miss you. X" 

My smile soon goes when I read it. "You ok?" my sister says. I read the message out to them and I can see there faces are all filled with sympathy. "I erm better go and get this over with. Don't worry about dinner mum she wont be joining us." I tell her. I text James and ask if he could take me to Elle's which he happily agrees too. We get to Elle's and I knock on the door. After a few minutes she answers the door she has my hoodie on that she kept from Monday I love that she's wearing it. "Nick. I wasn't expecting you" she smiles. "You want to come in?" I shake my head no. "Could we sit on the porch I need to talk to you." I can see the worry in her face. We sit down and we just look into each others eyes. "Nick what's wrong I'm really worried about you" I pause trying to find the right words. "Elle. I need to talk to you, I can't do this right now. I need some time alone, I'm so sorry." She looks at me confused. "What, I don't understand" I see her eyes watering. "Elle. I cant be with you anymore. Please don't cry (I wipe her tears away) I'm not worth your tears. Your too beautiful to cry." 

"I don't understand we just got together, you told me you loved me, you promised me you wouldn't ever hurt me. Is... is it because I'm fat. I will change, I will do anything please don't leave me like everyone else." Her words are killing me. "You are perfect the way you are. I never want you to change for me ever!" I get up to leave, she takes my hand and I feel her slip something into my hands I pull away from her and put my hands in  my pockets, she sits there crying while I start to walk away I try not let myself cry but its f*****g hard. "Please Nick, please don't go I love you." I have to leave before I change my mind I need to keep her safe I just keep telling myself that I'm doing this to keep her safe. I get in the car and I just watch her cry into her hands I tell James to drive off but he's hesitant. "Nick are you sure" I just nod I cant talk or I will cry. 

I get home and go straight to my room I get in the shower and just cry, I let it all out. I never thought I would hate my life I always thought that having money and power would make me happy but I was wrong it was her. I spent two weeks with her and I have never been happier, I've never felt richer or more powerful. Now I feel like nothing. I just broke the love of my life's heart I have never hated myself more than right now. I get out the shower and I'm half hoping that Elle has texted me but she hasn't. I know she hates me I just hope when I get myself out of this situation she will forgive me and understand why I did this. I don't bother with dinner tonight I just go to bed even though sleep is the last thing on my mind. As I lay in bed I remember Elle putting something in my hand I leap out of bed and rush to my pocket, I unfold the paper and see it's her bucket list. 

1) Make a friend for life       - Check

2) Drive a boat 

3) Go to an Ed Sheeran Concert

4) Go on a safari trip

5) swim with dolphins 

6) Learn how to Ski 

7) visit the 7 wonders of the world 

8) Go on holiday 

9) Fall in love                - Check

10) Lose my virginity 

Elle's pov 

I watch him drive off through the tears. I can feel my heart breaking. I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to think it was just a few days ago he told me he loved me. I head back inside and go to the bathroom. I strip off to shower I just need to soak my body. I look at my naked self in the mirror. I just cry even harder at the sight in front of me. It's because of the way I look I just know it. I disgust him. While I stare at my reflection hating everything I see, I think of the last 2 weeks with Nick. He has always made me feel beautiful. He told me he was going to teach me how to love myself. How could I ever love myself knowing no one will ever love me. What is there to love? Nothing. I look around and I just stop in front of the toilet. I know what I need to do. I kneel in front of it and put my fingers down my throat I start to gag and quickly remove them without throwing up. My eyes water but for a different reason now. I sit back and sigh out. I'm to stupid to even make myself throw up. I think of all the horrible fat comments I've heard my whole life particularly last year and these 2 weeks. With more determination I lean back over the toilet putting 2 fingers down my throat I manage to make myself sick. I do this a further 2 times. I go brush my teeth and turn the shower on. As much as I hated being sick a feeling of relief rushes over me. If I keep doing this maybe I could be slim. I could be beautiful. I could be everything Nick wants. 

I shower and wash the pain, hurt and rejection off me. I head back to my room and get ready for bed I know its early but I have no energy to do anything else. "Sweetie dinners ready?" I hear my mum call through my door. "I'm not hungry mum I have a headache I'm just going to go to bed." 

"Ok let me know if you need anything ok" I don't reply instead I just wrap myself up in my covers and close my eyes I feel the tears role down my cheeks as I think of Nick. 

Its Monday again and I haven't spoken to or heard from Nick. I really thought if I gave him time he would of called me or at least text me. The weekend dragged for me I spent it in bed or in the bathroom throwing up. I got my mum to buy me scales I've been keeping track of my weight in a dairy, I note down what time I eat and what time I throw up and how many times I'm sick at one time. Saturday morning I started off at 16 stone 4 pound it's now Monday morning and I now weigh 15.13 I lost 5 pounds since Friday night, I haven't eaten all weekend what ever I did eat I throw up straight away. My mum was a bit worried about me when she heard me Sunday but I told her it's just a stomach bug. 

I get my self up and ready for school I make my self throw up once before I head off, I leave a little later than usual so I don't have to have breakfast with my mum. When I get out the house I half wishing nick was here waiting for me but the other half of me knew better. I put my head phones in and listen to Ed Sheeran.

When I get to school I go sit by my tree and take my tablets now that I don't have Nick my anxiety is through the roof, I really don't know how I will get through the school day with out him. He was my saviour these last 2 weeks. I take a couple of deep breaths trying to calm myself while I shove my tablets back in my bag. I pull my hoodie up and make sure I'm as invisible as possible. As I walk to my locker I hear two girls talking about Nick and Alicia becoming an official couple. This cant be true. He would never go out with her he told me multiple times he hated her. My heart begins to pound and everything feels like it's going in slow motion. I see people looking at me and all I can do is think if this is true. I head to history and I see Alicia and Nick sitting together. We lock eyes and I just want to ask if its true. I see the hurt in his eyes and I just don't understand what's happening. I walk up to him, "Nick..." I start but as I watch Alicia touching him and snuggling up close to him I lose my words. My mouth goes dry and I just want to cry. Please don't let this be true. "Is.. Is it true?" I finally ask him. He doesn't answer, "What? Me and Nicky being an official couple yes it's true. You really think he would ever want you, that he would ever be attractive to a fat ugly elephant like you." Her words cut through me like a knife but my eyes never leave Nick. I hear the class starting to laugh and I lower my head and take my seat. 

The class starts and we get the results back from our text we did last week. I look at my paper I got 45% out of 100% I mentally groan at myself as I know I'm going to fail. Maybe I could just drop out of school I'm clearly not smart enough to graduate or to leave this shitty town. My eyes glance at Nick and for a split second he looks at me smiling, I turn away as it's too painful. "Well class a lot of you did really well but I know what areas we need to focus on for the next 3 weeks we will be working in pairs that I will pick for you. I want you guys to work with different people, I want you do to a PowerPoint presentation, I have paired you according to strengths and weaknesses that I saw in your tests I will also give you a topic to work on" Oh great I wonder who I will partnered with in all honestly I wish I could work alone. He starts putting people in couples I felt my heart sink when I heard my name and Nicks name together. "Right now you have your partners please go sit with them and I will hand out your assignments." he walks over to me and sits next to me. "Elle." he starts but I turn my self away from him. Mr Hunter passes us our assignment. I look at our sheet were focusing on s*****y and how it successfully ended. I copy the worksheet into my note book and hand him the sheet Mr Hunter gave to us. "Remember you have 3 weeks to complete this which is plenty of time I want you all to pass." 

"Elle when do you want start this? Do you want to come over and we can start this tonight?" He asks me. As much as I want to say yes the only thing I can say is "You and Alicia?" I don't want to be this girl but I cant stop my self. He gives me a weak nod. I pack my things away and wait the 10 minutes till the end of lesson. "Elle it's not what it seems, I can't explain it to you right now. It's complicated" He tells me like I'm suppose to believe his bullshit. "There's nothing to explain I'm fine, I'm over it." As soon I finish my sentence I feel something slimy hit the side of my face. I look forward and the whole class is laughing. Mr Hunter stands up "WHO THROW THAT" He demands. No one owns up to it. "Well in that case EVERYONE except Ellie and Nick has after school detention who ever doesn't turn up will be excluded from school for 2 weeks and an automatic fail for their assignment" It still remains quiet. "Well I guess I will see everyone after school. Now leave, Ellie can I see you for a moment" he asks. The class leaves giving me angry glares, how the hell is it my fault they have detention when I got hit with slime. When everyone leaves including Nick I make my way to the front of the class room. "Sir you wanted to see me?" "Elle I heard what happened last Monday. Are you ok?" "Yes, I'm ok thank you.""Ellie did you see who threw that at you?""No sir I didn't, Sir please don't give everyone after school detention it's just going to make things worse for me." "Ellie, I can't just sit by and watch one of my students get physically assaulted. They brought this upon themselves. Go to the bathroom and get cleaned up, I will let your maths teacher know you'll be late.""Thank you sir" I leave and make my way to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and see green slime covering my left side of my face. After I clean it off I just look at myself I'm so angry at myself at the way I look, I'm angry at Nick and Alicia I just wish my life would end but I know Eddie would never forgive me. I go make my self sick, it strangely makes me feel so much better. I take a couple more of my pills and head to maths. I look at the time on my phone and see I'm 20 minutes late. I decide to ditch maths and head to the school field where me and Nick once spent our English lesson. I still remember that was the first time he called me beautiful. I lean against the tree and just stare off into space. I hear the bell ring for lunch but I don't move. I don't eat much now a days and when I do I make sure I throw it up. I stay put by my tree, about half hour passes and my phone beeps, I pull it assuming it's my mum as I have no body else but when I see his name my heart pounds against my chest, I hate that he still has this affect on me. 

Nicky - Elle. Where are you? I wanted to see if you were ok after what happened in history I am so sorry that happened I promise when I find who did it I will beat them, I'm worried about you, you missed Maths and you haven't come to get anything to eat. please let me know your ok. 

Me - Nick. We're not together anymore, we aren't even friends any more. Just forget about me.

Nicky - Elle, We will always be friends, I'm so sorry for hurting you I promise I will explain one day. Please just give me time to sort some stuff out. 

Me - Nick, There is nothing to explain. I get it, Alicia is beautiful, slim and everything I'm not, just leave me alone now.

Nicky - You are beautiful to me X

I don't bother replying to him it's too painful. He is clearly lying if he dumps me Friday and gets into a relationship with Alicia the Monday. I'm a fat stupid i***t for thinking he actually loved me. I can't believe he is the first guy I said 'I love you' to. 

The day is finally over and luckily I was able to avoid everyone for the rest of the day I missed the rest of my lessons except English because it's my favourite lesson. I leave the school doors with a sigh of relief other than the slim it wasn't too bad probably caused I only went to 2 lessons. I put my headphones in and start walking home. It use to take me 20 minutes but now its taking half hour, I don't have the energy I use to. I get home and almost collapse. I wonder why I'm feeling so weak. I go grab a bottle of water and sit on the sofa. 

Nicky - Can we start our assignment tonight I can come pick you up in an hour. x

Me -  You can start it I'm busy tonight.  

Nicky - Elle we need to do this assignment together please I want us to pass. x

I can't reply I just feel like I have no energy. I must of fallen asleep with out realising cause I woke up to knocking on the front door. I get up and see who it could be. "Nick. What are you doing here?" 

"Elle" he says barging into my house "I'm sorry for coming unannounced but you didn't reply to me can we talk." He asks sheepishly. "Look Nick tonight isn't good I'm really tired we can start the assignment tomorrow after school" 

"Elle I just want to say sorry -" I cut him off before her tells me why he's sorry "Nick I think you better leave we can start the project tomorrow after school bye" I open the front door for him and he leaves. I head to the kitchen and make myself half a sandwich as soon as I finish the last bite I head upstairs and throw it up, I go write it down in my weight tracker. I brush my teeth have a quick shower and go to bed, I just needed today to be over.