The Rogue Alpha King

CH.4 - Blackout

Chapter Four

Alpha Creed's Point Of View

I stood up quickly and then froze.

Why was I looking to speak to her? What would I even say and exactly why would I bring her into the mess that was my life? Was I truly that cruel, that I would approach a defenceless and innocent human for no reason and risk exposing her to how dangerous everything around me could get?

No. That answer was enough to keep me in line.

I sat back down and quietly finished my meal as I tried to push her scent out of my mind.

Random thoughts kept drifting in and out. At some point it was getting hard to differentiate between my imagination, my past lives and my present reality. The events of the night before haunted me as I recalled what I had done to that alpha, ripping his heart out in front of his mate. How could I be so cruel? She was just as much of a victim as everyone else. Her mate had been the wrong person and that was not even her choice yet my actions would haunt her for the rest of her life. She could reach a point of insanity from the pain of watching her other half's death. I had caused that.

Deep breath in.

There was nothing I could do about it now and the best thing I could do for myself was to move forward and not dwell on it. I could feel Kronos at the edge of my control, growing more reckless, more cruel, more animalistic and more torturous with each passing day. He could sense the time going by and still we were without a mate. His need for one was as strong as mine. I unfortunately was still not willing to submit myself to love. The whole vulnerability of it scared me more than I was willing to admit.

I could feel eyes following me as I left the diner and stepped back out into the streets of the small border town. My eyes landed on a dingy looking motel down the road but beggars could not exactly be choosers and I decided to swallow my pride and step into the otherwise questionable establishment.

"Good evening. I would like to check in please. Your finest available room for a night or two."

The old woman at the front desk looked up at me slowly, her eyes traveling up and then down before landing on my face. She went very still. Her mouth fell slightly open and the colour drained from her skin in an instant. I could feel her heartbeat accelerating from where I stood, loud and erratic, hammering against her ribs in a way that told me she was not simply surprised but genuinely terrified. She had recognized me, or at least recognized the rumors that surrounded my name, and her body had made the decision to be afraid before her mind had even caught up.

She moved in slow and calculated motions, doing her best to appear calm and not do anything to irritate me. The trembling of her hand as she reached for the room key told a different story. Her mouth opened and closed but no words came out so I decided it was best to simply smile, take the key and thank her. The faster I was out of her eye line the better for both of us.

I was sure she recognized me. I had been wandering into this small border town for years, longer than most of its current residents had been living there, and Kronos had not always been quiet during those visits. There had been gangs trying to claim territory here some years back, the kind of drawn out territorial violence that I knew from experience could go on for decades and destroy a community from the inside. I had intervened. My methods were not subtle and the gangs were no longer a problem. The locals had never quite gotten over how that situation was resolved, which was fair, but none of them had ever pressed charges or gone to the authorities either. I suspected they were mostly glad the gang war was over and had collectively decided that what they didn't officially know could not inconvenience them.

I was aware of how I appeared in this place. Long sleeves, black ink from the tattoos that decorated most of my body just barely visible at the collar and the wrists. A face that people looked at and immediately categorised as trouble. The kind of person that mothers warned their children about and that sensible adults gave a wide berth to on narrow pavements. I did not particularly mind. Being feared kept most nuisances at a comfortable distance.

Upon reaching my room I recognized it immediately. It was my regular room, the same one the woman downstairs had always given me across the years of these visits. The designer I had hired some years back had made the space considerably more bearable, dark and clean and far more suited to my taste than the original décor had been. I sat down and called Felicia to let her know where I was.

This was routine. Me getting lost in my own head, wandering off somewhere, and Felicia tracking me down or waiting for the call. We had made jokes about it. Placed bets on which location I would end up in next. Her voice down the line was light and teasing when she answered, full of the warmth that she reserved for private conversations and kept carefully away from pack business.

"You know your bride has been asking about you," she said, and I could hear the genuine concern underneath the playfulness. "I honestly don't know why you picked her out of all people. I am sure if you were more patient you would have found the right one."

I listened as she rambled on. This was her way of caring and I appreciated it, even the parts where she called me dude and told me in the most roundabout possible way that some poor saint of a woman was out there for me. She made a joke at some point and I chuckled softly before we exchanged further pleasantries and I hung up.

I thought briefly about calling Gwen and decided against it. A pang of guilt struck me as I wondered if I was being fair to her. Gwen was honestly beautiful and patient beyond measure. She had made her feelings clear long before I proposed and she did not deserve this specific kind of indifference. The proposal had been practical rather than personal and she deserved better than that even if she had accepted it readily. That was a problem for another day.

Since sleep was clearly not arriving anytime soon I saw no harm in going to the club around the corner for a drink.