A family of her own

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Marcus’ pov

Maddie has been spending a lot of time with Jaylah. Jaylah seemed so much happier lately. I didn’t realize how not having a mother affected her so much. I want her to know all about the amazing woman her mother was. She gave her life to have Jaylah. She would be proud of the little girl Jaylah has become.

I found myself wondering what she would think of Maddie. Would she want me to move on? I felt like I was betraying her every time I looked at Maddie. I know she would have wanted me to be happy. I just don’t know if I could allow myself to be with another woman.

Maddie is amazing with Jaylah, but that’s all she is. She is Jaylah’s teacher. That’s all she can be. I mean she’s one hell of a woman, but I need to keep my distance. I already had my soul mate once and she’s now gone, but she will never be forgotten.

Maddie is helping out a lot though. I have been so busy with work so Maddie has been watching Jaylah. I get the feeling Maddie needs this time with Jaylah as well. From what I have overheard Maddie can’t have any children of her own. It’s sad since she is so young, and she would be an amazing mother. She would be a great mother for Jaylah.

I just wish I could get over this guilt so that I could be happy. I could be very happy with Maddie. I was sitting at my desk trying to work, but I was distracted. I couldn’t stop thinking about Maddie. Seeing her with my daughter made me feel things I buried a long time ago.

I thought my heart was lost forever when I lost my wife. I shut myself off. A part of me died with her that day. Spending time with Maddie makes me feel alive. I crave that feeling. I just wish I could allow myself to have it. I just don’t think I could be with anyone else.

I know it’s not fair to Jaylah. I see how she looks at Maddie. I know she wants a mother and she deserves one. She had an amazing mother and it kills me that she will never know her. I talk about her all the time, but it isn’t the same. She will never hear her laugh, or have her mother tell her that she loves her. We never planned ahead because we were young, and she was healthy. We never thought something like this could happen. We thought we had all these years to be happy together and be the best parents we could be. That was taken from us far to soon.

Some days it feels like it was just yesterday that I lost her and some days it feels like it’s been an eternity since she’s been in my life. I forgot how her hair smelled. How her smile looked. Little by little I am starting to forget the things I loved about her the most. I felt like I was somehow letting her down. I tried to be the best father I could be, but it was hard to do this without her. I felt like I was failing everyone and at the end of the day Maddie was all I could think about.