A family of her own

Chapter 12

Chapter 12Maddie’s pov

I cried myself to sleep after leaving Marcus’. I felt like I had lost him. I loved him so much. I was heartbroken. Was I not good enough to be a part of Jaylah’s life? She’s a little girl so of course she’s going to get confused. If he’s going to push me away every time this happens then maybe, we shouldn’t be together.

I don’t want to end up getting hurt all the time. Here I was all alone crying my eyes out. How can I even compete with his dead wife? I shouldn’t even have too. I am not trying to take her place. I just wanted to be included.

I want Jaylah to know who her real mommy is. I would never take that away. After all she gave life to that amazing little girl. I wish Marcus could see that. He just can’t let go of his past so that we can have a future. I want to be in a relationship with a man that can love me.

I don’t think Marcus is capable of doing that. That hurt me so much. I wanted him to love me like I love him. Maybe it was time to end things before I got hurt any more then I already am. Saying goodbye to Marcus was going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I just can’t be with a man that I know will never love me. He won’t let himself. No this really was for the best. I just hated that Jaylah was going to be getting hurt as well. Maybe I should go back to teaching, so I could still see her.

No that would only confuse her. I didn’t want to make her life complicated. Maybe I should just move. That way I wouldn’t have to run into Marcus or Jaylah. I have it so bad that the only way I can get over him is to move away.

I wish dreams really did come true. Sadly, it looks like my dream of having the man I love, and a family will be coming to an end. I just wish I knew what I did wrong. Was he just scared?

Maybe he felt the same as I did, and that was what scared him. I didn’t want this to end. I also didn’t want to get hurt either. I just wish I knew how he felt. Then I could decide what to do. I knew I couldn’t stay here and not be with Marcus and Jaylah. It would just hurt way too much.

I did get a job offer in another state maybe I should take it. Just move on and start over. A fresh start without anyone knowing my secret, and my pain. I needed to talk to Marcus. I couldn’t just take off without talking to him first. I needed closure. I needed to say goodbye to both him and Jaylah if he lets me.