The broken Luna and the Actor

*Cynamon* I have just gotten into the car when I receive a text, so I pull out my phone and read it. [Are you on your way honey? I am getting hungry… and missing you.] [Just got in my car, but I need to drive slowly so as not to ruin the cakes and also find my way to the middle of nowhere. So it will take a bit... be patient]. I text back, shaking my head as I put my phone away, men! Turning on the GPS and pushing in the address is the first thing I do, before turning on my car and starting my journey to deliver the cupcakes I have created. That is what I do, create specially ordered cupcakes... and to toot my own horn a bit, I can make almost anything you can imagine into cake. I was hired by my kind of boyfriend to do these for a friend's 4th of July celebration. I say kind of boyfriend because well... we have been on a couple of dates, but... as always it will probably not really lead to anything, and I know that is on me. ‘You know why’. The well-known voice sounds in my head. “Yada yada yada”. I mumble. “He is not our mate, I know… I freaking know”. I am talking to my wolf, Zeva … Yes, I am a werewolf. Not one of those from the horror movies, big drooling monsters that eat humans, I just have the ability to change into a wolf. One that constantly talks inside my head and has her own often annoying opinion. ‘Mates are important’. She huffs. “We live a rogue life, we never see any other wolves, the chance is …”. I sigh. “Well, chances are we will never meet our true mate, and Ian is fun, I know it won’t last, but let me enjoy the attention”. It’s not that he is not a nice guy, he is, and handsome too ... very much so actually, it’s like winning the boyfriend lottery, but ... yeah, something is wrong with me, besides the werewolf thing I mean, or with the whole notion of love. I am either incapable of love... which would probably not be a surprise given my past and the mate thing... or maybe love is just a lie we all buy into. I am not sure, but I am sure that I never felt those butterflies, the tingles, the... however books describe love. I might like a guy, even feel good around him, but that's about it. But I mean, I always wanted love. I kinda always wanted kids, to prove myself better than my own mom. I always felt I deserved to be loved. I mean it took me… like forever and a lot of therapy to learn to love myself, to accept my past, to accept that what happened happened and it was not my fault, and to accept what I am. I had hoped that when I loved myself, I would love someone else. You know the saying, to be able to give and receive love from others, you need to love yourself first, sadly it still hasn’t happened though. So for now, I will stick with this one. Who knows, maybe it will happen. I mean he is sweet, funny, and handsome. And he is a pretty good kisser too, that’s how far we have gone for now, which I am totally okay with; I am not really busy in that area. I mean, I quite enjoy s*x, when it is going on that is; I am not really going around missing it. I guess I just don’t have a very big s*x drive either, so as I said my relationships usually do not go far. Most of them I end because I feel bad about it, or they dump me for not giving them enough attention and enough s*x. ‘Because they are not HIM, they are not our mate’. Zeva chips in. “Heard you the first million times”. I mumble. As I park in front of the house, I spot him coming out, smiling at me and waving. Yeah, he is handsome, no doubt, even Zeva thinks so, says he could almost be an Alpha, but he is human. I wish I would feel more than I do. “Hi honey”. He comes padding over, and I get out of the car, he pulls me into a hug and a light kiss. “So happy you finally came. Let me take the cupcakes and then I can introduce you to everyone else”. I breathe in, unable not to feel slightly nervous. I mean he lives here with a couple of other guys, whom I haven’t met yet. I am not always the best at meeting new people. Also, I find it a bit weird or fun, not sure which, that they kinda live like they are a pack. “Okay, they are in the backseat”. Ian opens the backseat to my car and looks at me with a huge grin. “You put a seatbelt on the cupcakes?” "Yeah, I mean I didn't want them to tip over if I had to brake or something," I look at him. I mean, that's a totally normal thing to do, right? "You are something special," he gives me a small chuckle before leaning in to unbuckle the cakes. "That would be such an Austin thing to do." "I live in Austin, so…" I say. He chuckles, "No, Austin Leigh, my friend, the owner of this place." Austin, of course, now I feel dumb. Besides being one of Ian's best friends, the guy is a movie star, or so I have been told. To be honest, I only have a vague idea of how he looks. I have seen him on TV years ago and some posters for his recent superhero movie, but I didn't look closer, though, as it isn't really my kind of movie. But according to Ian, he is a great guy, and I am going to love him. "Come on, I'll show you the main house." Ian walks inside, and I follow him. He puts the cakes down in the kitchen, and I look around. "I like this, stylish but cozy, very nice." "Well, this is actually Austin's place, or what you want to call it; but yeah, Austin lives here." He walks towards a door out to a back patio. "Okay, come meet everyone." Apparently, Ian can feel me tensing up, because he takes my hand and leads me along, introducing me as his girlfriend. Honestly, most people I forget again instantly. I do remember JR, though, who apparently is Austin's business partner on something called Bodyworks, a big bearded guy who calls me ma'am in a very Texan way and gives off an alpha vibe. And Benjamin, who is this cute guy with a sweet smile and a camera in his hand, whom I instantly like. We walk out on the grass, the back lawn is kind of a half-circle with almost a ravine behind it. There are people standing around talking, and a guy is laying on the edge with a rifle, shooting at something in the distance while a couple of people are watching. A bearded guy comes over, talking in a whispering voice. "Shh... Austin is trying to hit the bomb." "The bomb?" I probably look confused. "He is shooting a bomb?" 'This sounds unsafe.' Zeva is instantly there. 'Maybe we should leave.' Ian chuckles low. "Not a real bomb, just a silly idea Austin has. This is Grant by the way, Grant, this is my girlfriend Cynamon." "Nice to meet you, ma'am," he says, still in the hushed voice, not to break Austin's focus, I guess. So I whisper back. "Nice to meet you too." We all turn to focus on Austin, and I can't help but notice the almost crazily long legs poking out from the black shorts. He is wearing a tank top, and when he gets ready to shoot, the muscles in his back, shoulders, and ass tighten visibly. 'Cy!' Zeva sounds weird, like excited and worried all at once, kinda like a dog waiting for a ball to be thrown, but I ignore her. "Focus, Austin... focus," he mumbles to himself, and I am not sure what it is, I mean he has a totally normal voice, he isn't even talking to me. But then why do I suddenly feel all weird? Like dizzy and breathless, is it because I know he is famous, even though I thought I didn't care? Everyone holds their breath as he pulls the trigger. There is the sound of the rifle, then what seems like seconds of silence and then something goes boom down in the field, and everyone around me cheers, and Ian calls out, "Awesome shot, A." "That was f*****g legit..." He jumps to his feet and turns toward us, freezing in place in the middle of an inhale, kinda staring at me, like I was the last thing he expected to see. How is it that books describe it? Like being struck by lightning... yeah, that’s very accurate. I just stand there, staring like an i***t. I mean, to my defense, I had no idea it was possible to be this... handsome? No, that's not even it, even though he is ridiculously good looking. It's the pure light shining from within him that has me mesmerized. Without me even really noticing, my hand lets go of Ian's and falls to my side, so this is Austin, the famous movie star... with a clarity that is rare for me, I instantly know my life will never be the same, and Zeva's reaction confirms it.