Placeholder (MxM)

Blind Leading part 1

Blind Leading

Volume 1

Takano Masamune

Chapter 1: To Live Freely

***

From the day I was born all I could see was darkness… it didn’t take too long for me to understand the situation I was in…

“Will there be anything else?” The shop keeper’s voice sounded mellow, a bit worried as well, as if there was something on her mind.

“No, that’s all… though are you alright? You seem to be in a sour mood…” I remarked while outstretching my hand.

The shop keeper chuckled lightly, her voice was somewhat puzzled at my remark. “Of course you’d notice. Well I’m having a harsh time lately. My husband is a bit, you know…” She spoke in a low tone, then hesitated.

Although I couldn’t see her expression, I knew exactly what she felt… Each shift in her voice, each breath, each movement that made a sound…

“I would hear you out if you want me to.” I remarked with a smile, she held my hand and squeezed it tightly.

“It’s alright… I can handle things by myself… get back safely.” Her tone reverted back to her cheerful as ever and refreshed manner of speech.

“Alright, I’ll come by and check up on you with cup cakes next Tuesday.” I said while heading out… if at that time I had been able to see then I would have noticed the bruises on her face and the cuts on her arms… However I stupidly believed her words…

That was the last time I ever encountered that shop keeper…

Ever since then I’d have to go to another place to get my pheromone suppressants. They were a common thing that nowadays people bought. It’s not the same as before when you needed to have them prescribed, they’re pretty much as common as buying bread, it’s a necessity…

Especially after the horrific incidents that happened the last few years… Because of the uncontrolled pheromone leakage there was an outburst of ruts and heats happening simultaneously…

It turns out that it’s possible for an Omega to trigger another Omega’s heat with their pheromones, as a way of bonding, or maybe it’s just their bodies synchronizing?

I’m not good at these things… I don’t like to think about them…

What I desire most is to live a normal life…

“I’m back…” I said while entering the apartment. I had everything memorized so I never bumped into the furniture. I headed to the kitchen when suddenly something got in my way and I tripped.

“Be careful… that’s the groceries you wanted.” I heard my husband’s voice from the other room.

“I see… next time do you mind putting them on the counter instead of the ground?” I asked while carefully standing up, of course he didn’t help me, that was just our dynamic.

“What? I have to do more work even after I went out to buy all this crap?” His tone shifted, he was angry at me again.

“No, no, it’s alright… I understand…” I slowly stepped forward and began examining the grocery bag. “There…” I knew there were some items missing but if I asked him about them then he’d end up even more annoyed with me so I was quiet.

As I began cooking I stumbled over a few other items that were misplaced. I suppose he was doing something in the kitchen and that’s why they’re not where they’re supposed to be…

“Um… do you happen to know where the knife is? I can’t seem to find it but I have to cut up these vegetables-” Suddenly I was pulled by the shoulder.

“Why would you need that?” He asked me with a paranoid voice. I remarked calm, he was in one of his episodes… I guess he thinks I’d murder him or something… it’s happened many times before…

“No, I don’t need it…” All I have to do is comply and it’s going to be alright. In the next moment I felt him grabbing my breasts.

“You’re not in heat this month either? How is that possible when you don’t take suppressants?” His voice sounded somehow odd. I could tell there was something that he wanted to ask me, but I was far too afraid to reply to him earnestly.

“I guess it just happens to skip it sometimes…” I replied calmly with a smile then I got pushed against the kitchen counter.

“You think I don’t know you’ve been buying and taking them secretly!?” He yelled at me… I was exposed…

He wanted a child and I had been taking suppressants to make sure it doesn’t happen… an Omega can only be impregnated during their heat and at no other time…

“No, I haven’t been-” Before I could even lie to him, he hit me. The pain I felt at my cheek, I knew it would be swollen up the next day.

“Never lie to me again!” He yelled once more. Then headed back to the living room. Sat at the ground for a bit. Then stood up and continued cooking.

This was the daily life I lived…

This was… reality…

And I still don’t know if it’s better or worse than when I lived with my parents…

My parents weren’t my biological ones, the ones that gave birth to me were somewhere far away, I didn’t even know if they were alive or dead. While those that raised me thought I was useless because I was ugly…

They used to tell me that God made sure I couldn’t see my own ugliness… but he couldn’t spare others from the same fate…

I often used to hide my face when I went outside, I still do with a face mask over my lips, scarf’s in the winter, glasses…anything to obstruct other’s view of my ugliness…

I used to get bullied a lot in school for constantly hiding my face with my hair, then at home my other siblings would continue much the same… my parents couldn’t stand me, my relatives couldn’t…

I felt abandoned at every turn, until I met my husband Miles… Miles was sweet in the beginning he would get me nice gifts and then he’d tell me sweet nothings, it was only after he marked me and we got married that he exposed his true self…

And I’m too weak to leave him…

But at some point I had began to accept this as it was… it’s not like others aren’t going through the same as me, like that shop keeper…

My life and those around me is pretty much the same… the treatment one gets when they aren’t favored by fate… When one should be grateful they’re even alive when they’re so unworthy…

I’m unworthy… yet I’m alive…

“Don’t take any more suppressants understood? Next month you won’t be so lucky if you continue to defy me.” Miles’s ominous words stuck with me… that wasn’t the first time he’s hit me in a fit of anger, so I wasn’t surprised. But there was something different about him, something in his tone that set me off and I felt like I was being suffocated although he was nowhere near me.

That night I headed out… I wasn’t going anywhere in particular, I was just walking a familiar rode… because I couldn’t sleep next to him, I felt scared…

As I walked through the streets I could hear people talking amongst themselves, some students, some older women and then some men that were having some kind of argument…

My legs somehow lead me to that shop keeper’s place… I didn’t know her name although we met so often… I’d go there at least three times a month. Once for my suppressants and other times just to have a chat, she was a pleasant woman. But of course the shop wasn’t working at that hour, so I sat outside for a little bit, taking in the sounds around me…

Cars… people talking… faint noises in the distance… there was even an ambulance that went by quickly… cats mewing, dogs barking on occasion…

All these sounds created the scenery in my head, I didn’t know what it looked like but surely it was a somewhat… peaceful night…

The breeze, the way the very air smelled like winter, and the occasional quietness that made the city feel like it wasn’t as lively anymore…

“I should probably go back… he’ll be looking for me…” I muttered under my breath thinking nobody was around but then a voice came from my side.

“You definitely should, this place isn’t somewhere an omega like you should be hanging around so late at night.” Suddenly all my hairs stood on end, it was a man’s voice and he was so close to me, right next to me at the bench I had sat down at… but when did he get there? How did I not hear him? I don’t understand…

“Ah… ugh… I’m sorry for bothering you.” I stood up quickly but I stumbled over something. Then I felt a hand grab me by the waist and pull me in.

“Careful… there was no need to stand up so quickly…” The man’s voice sounded indifferent but he held me tightly and then when I regained my balance he let me go. “I’m sorry for putting that there, I didn’t know you were blind and wouldn’t see it.” He spoke in a bit of a sarcastic tone I felt like, but it was hard to tell.

“Ugh… how did you know I was blind?” I asked him in a tone that surely sounded confused to him.

“Well, for starters you didn’t notice me when you sat down right next to me…” He replied while helping me sit back down at the bench. “And you started talking to yourself thinking there was no one around, and you have a cane over there, so it wasn’t difficult to tell really. I’d have to be the blind one not to notice.” He chuckled a bit but his tone remained the same throughout his entire speech.

“Ah… alright… sorry…” I apologized and lowered my head.

“You didn’t do anything wrong though?” He seemed confused. “Do you want me to help you out, you seem a bit lost.” He suggested but I shook my head.

“It’s alright I can get back from here on my own… sorry to have bothered you.” I turned around and I could hear him faintly say. “You apologized for nothing again.”

I didn’t know why but I felt like this man… understood me a little bit… there was something in his voice that I couldn’t distinguish but it felt warm…

Chapter 2: Warmth

***

I headed back to my apartment and I stood outside for a while, for a long while… I didn’t want to go in even… I didn’t want to face my husband…

“He’s probably still sleeping… I should just…” I felt my hands were trembling, I always spoke to myself when I was overly nervous, it was as if the words just flooded out of my mouth without me realizing it.

My shoulders were trembling since it was so cold outside, I felt like my mind was racing with thoughts as I slowly stepped forward but then I stopped again…

At the door, I could hear someone’s breathing, suddenly the darkness in front of my eyes began being filled with horrifying imaginary…

“Where were you so late at night? Out cheating on me?” Miles’s voice was lower than ever and quite more terrifying. Then I felt the scent of his pheromones. I felt as if every single hair on my body was standing up out of fear.

“No, I was just out for a walk.” I quickly explained myself as I extended my hands and grasped at his clothes. “You have to believe me, I didn’t do anything with anyone-!” I said as I raised my voice ever so slightly out of desperation. The silence was deafening…

I couldn’t even hear the sounds from the outside anymore… no cars… no chatter… no wind… nothing…

The only thing I could do was stand there, holding onto him and hoping he wouldn’t hit me.

“Then what is he doing there?” Miles asked me and I was extremely confused what he was talking about.

“Who do you mean?” I asked him as I stood there shivering in the cold.

“This prick walking behind you, this guy… what do you want with my wife, huh!?” Miles was yelling at someone that wasn’t me… who was it?

Except…

“I was just making sure she goes home safely… but as I see it, you’re not the least bit safe.” That sound, it was the same man I spoke to at the bench before. What was he doing here?

“Why… why did you follow me?!” I yelled I knew I would be misunderstood at this point, I needed to make things clear now or else…

Before I knew it I couldn’t feel Miles anymore standing next to me, a deep seethed fear began and this time I wasn’t scared I’d be the one getting hit…

The pheromones in the air were dry… it had began, they were both Alphas… and this wasn’t going to end well. So I wanted to stop them but I couldn’t… my body that hadn’t stopped trembling since before just continued to do so all the more as I listened in to the scuffle…

It was so loud in my head at that moment that I couldn’t even tell which voice was which, and who was getting beaten up… but I didn’t need to know, since Miles had always been regarded as the strongest amongst the Alphas from the pack, he was in his forties now but that didn’t mean he was less strong… in fact most Alphas would only grow stronger with age contrary to humans who grow weaker…

I heard groans and the sound of breaking bones… I was horrified I had let an innocent man be hurt like this… but what if he wasn’t innocent? He followed me back home? Isn’t that suspicious? Why would he be worried about me?