Placeholder (MxM)

Impress Me (MxM) part 1

Impress Me (MxM)

Volume 1

Takano Masamune

Chapter 1: Christmas Movie (1)

***

“Young man, would you be willing to lend me a hand in carrying these groceries? Just around the corner?” A woman visibly in her late sixties approached Connan with a pitiful look on her face, she tried to smile but it seemed like the wrinkles along her face couldn’t allow her to do so.

“Of course, ma’am…” Connan quickly agreed with a careful smile planted on his lips. He helped her for what seemed like no more than five minutes of his time.

“Thank you, here, this is for you.” The old lady with her trembling hands, gave him what seemed like a pamphlet of sorts, for an acting class.

“Oh… thank you.” Connan smiled widely as he received it.

“I think you’re really talented…” The old lady wasn’t just any random stranger off the street. She knew Conan since he was young and that’s why she asked him specifically.

Conan didn’t have the heart to respond in any way when seeing the old lady’s expression. He waited until she was gone and crumpled up the pamphlet he was given, then dropped it to the ground and stomped on it.

As he did that, many of the passers by stared at him but he was so enraged he couldn’t pay them any mind…

The reason for his disgusted expression, for this extremely repressed anger was because he was failing…

He was failing in the only thing he wished to do in this lifetime… to become an actor.

It might seem like he should be grateful to have even one person that believes in him, but it was the opposite, he felt like he was deeply betraying other’s trust and even his own by being unable to reach his dream…

He was already 22 years old, any older than that and he would likely never make it in the industry. He felt a sense of urgency like never before, he went to auditions whenever there was any, and he’d already been to all the acting classes in town…

Nothing worked…

Simply put he was at a sand still and unable to make a single move in either direction because no one hired him…

All this training, all his hard work, none of it ever seemed to pay off…

That was what kind of man Conan Carson had become…

“Darling, you’re home already? I thought you had an audition today…” His mother Karen was a kind woman, so kind that one would think she came out of a fairy tail. She supported her only son, after her divorce with her cheating husband and managed to raise him all on her own. Conan of course loved his mother dearly and that made him all the ore desperate to make a name for himself, so that his mother wouldn’t have to work so hard anymore at the age of 55…

“I was there, and I didn’t get chosen again.” Conan replied, which was as per usual. This conversation seemed to have replayed about 20 times within his mind as he was coming back home and every single time… it was the exact same way.

“You’ll do better next time, I know it!” Karen confidently declared, her smile that went all the way up to her eyes felt heartwarming. But within Conan only a blaze of self deprecation remained.

It was always the same… Conan would fail an audition and come back home defeated while his mother cheerfully cooked for him after her tiring night shift and encouraged him all the same.

“Mom… I’m thinking of getting a job.” Connan coldly declared.

“No, you have to continue trying to become an actor, it’s your dream, right?” Karen reminded him carefully. This conversation as well, they’ve had it many times before… but each and every single next time they did, Conan had a more bitter taste in his mouth and his mother looked all the more tired.

Such selfless self sacrifice wasn’t usual for humans… but for his mother it was… as if it was as natural as breathing.

“I think this is enough.” Finally Conan spoke words he’d never said before. “I’m going to give up on becoming an actor, I don’t need to do it anymore. So I can work and support you too…”

“No, you’re the child and I’m the parent, not the other way around.” His mother firmly confirmed.

This made Conan feel like crying, the bitterness that was stuck in the back of his throat, it felt like a giant lump that made it hard to breathe.

“Mom… I don’t want to see you like this anymore… you’re tired and we barely have enough money to go on. I promise I’ll get a great job and do my best, so please…” Conan lowered his head, he couldn’t stand to look at his mother’s pity stained expression. He knew he was a loser, he knew he couldn’t do anything to support her besides give up.

“Do you want to give up?” Karen spoke as if she was reading the man’s mind.

“No…” Conan admitted the truth, because he really only ever wanted one thing and that’s to become an actor.

“Then there’s no point to discussing this any further, go out there and continue trying, until you finally succeed.” Karen’s cold hands that had been under the running water of the sink washing dishes, they felt like a stab in the heart to Conan.

“Mom… I don’t-” Conan looked up and when he was met with his mother’s eyes, the tears he’d held back welled up.

Karen looked even more tired than ever, the wrinkles along her face, the smile she used to hide it, the make up she put under her eyes to hide just how sleep deprived she’d been… and the puffiness of her face as if she had been crying…

He couldn’t stand this any longer…

“If you’re really serious about giving up then, one last time… that way you’ll have no regrets. If you give your all one last time, then I think that will be enough...” Karen said as she caressed her son’s head and smiled, she walked away.

Her hands were slightly trembling, Conan’s heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly. He couldn’t breathe…

One last time… that’s all he needed to do…

Give it his all to the dream he’s had since he was a child…

One last time…

And then… then…

Chapter 2: Christmas Movie (2)

***

His final attempt would be a Christmas themed movie that would air the following year. It was only July at the moment but it was to be filmed well in advance.

The story of the movie itself is simple and the role he decided to play wasn’t an extra as per usual, this time he went for one of the lead roles…

He’d tried his hand at smaller roles before, thinking he’d certainly get at least one, but this time since it was his final attempt at his dream he’s decided to go all out for it…

Conan worked tirelessly day and night to be able to get that role. A small time man finds love in an unexpected place, that was the premise of it. And he was given only a small script, only his own part, none of the other actor’s lines were there, which although a bit peculiar wasn’t completely strange…

“Is it coming along dear?” Karen asked him as yet she came back from another exhausting night shift, but before she could go to sleep she wanted to check up on her son which she hadn’t had the time to talk to for about three weeks.

Although they lived under the same roof, they were both giving it their all right now.

“Yeah, just a few more times I need to rehearse…” Conan replied with a melancholy sounding voice. At first it seemed like he’d completely given up on hope for getting the role.

Karen stepped closer to observe the script, then she smiled. “I’ll leave you to it.” She remarked and quickly headed out the door. “…my boy really is talented…” She mumbled under her breath.

Her heart would always be filled with pride when seeing her son working hard. And when she looked at his script she saw the thousands of notes he’d added to each line, the type of intonation he should use, several different ways to highlight each important moment.

Even though it was just a few pages long, he’d gone out of his way to make sure it’s perfect…

This continued until the day of the audition finally came.

“Next!” The man’s strong voice sounded as he called onto the next person to come in.

“Do you think it’s going to rain today?” The other judge asked, his name was K. Wiseman. He was a popular Director and writer among the best in the country. As to why he’d gone to a small town like P town is something that few people knew about.

“How could I know? Check a forecast or something, and stop interrupting me.” The first person spoke up again, his name was Sam Baker, the co-writer of the movie that the auditions were held for. A strong-minded individual that hated negligence, nothing like the more free spirited Director Wiseman.

“Both of you need to shut up, you’re annoying.” And finally the woman responsible for recruiting most of the talent for the movie. It was Jennifer Laurence. She was an incredibly capable and yet irritable person that didn’t like having her time wasted. “This audition is a joke…” She muttered quietly feeling incredibly bored.

“Now, now, there’s no telling what kind of talent we might find if we try hard enough to look for him!” Wiseman remarked cheerfully. His carefree attitude surely was something many envied and others despised.

As Conan finally came into the auditioning room, he felt ready.

“You may begin.” Wiseman gave the signal and leaned back to watch. The room was completely silent and all eyes were soley on Conan at that moment.

Conan spoke, his lines were spoken the exact way he imagined, the tone he wished to say them in and hopefully in the way they were ultimately intended…

The judges stood there staring at him for a while longer.

‘Did I do bad?’ Conan wondered to himself as he desperately raked his brains to figure out something else. Something more he could add, say or do to make them accept him.

“I… I don’t want to give up on my dream.” Conan confessed. This seemed to catch all three of the judges with their cold stares off guard.

“Becoming an actor is something I’ve aspired forever… I don’t have anything else besides this… this is my last chance to become someone… even if it’s not the main role, an extra… I will play anything with or without lines so please-” Admits Conan’s heartfelt speech he was interrupted.

“I’ll tell you something boy… you have talent.” Weisman spoke up with an unusually clear headed and serious tone of voice. “However this audition is already over and you’re not chosen for the role.” He declared. Both Jennifer and Sam turned to stare at the man at the middle seat.

“You’re not supposed to say that!” Sam warned him but before he could say anything else the man had already stood up from his seat.

“See, the reason your dream ends here isn’t because you can’t make it… or because you haven’t tried, but because this industry is somewhat closed off…” Wiseman continued. “The truth is these auditions are only for show and mean nothing, the roles have been decided well in advance, we’re here just wasting budget.” As he said those words Conan felt like his entire world had been shattered.

So this was it, huh?

Even his very final try was for nothing…

“I… understand…” Conan nodded at the man and turned around to leave. His heart was heavier than ever before that day. However he couldn’t go home not right now for…

He wouldn’t be able to face his mother who had put all her hopes in him and worked so hard to make him successful… He had been a parasite leaching off of his mother’s good will and he had nothing to show for it… He had no achievements and even now when he had put absolutely everything out on the line, it was still not enough…

Conan’s legs took him outside where he felt the scent of a cigarette, he didn’t smoke but surprisingly at that moment he wanted to…

“Hey, can I have one?” Conan turned to the man that had been leisurely smoking outside and asked him.

The man turned to glare at him with a look that could kill, from top to bottom he observed the man. “What do I get in return?” He asked him. The man had pitch black hair, a pair of thick black framed glasses and a pair of brown eyes that made him look somehow hostile.

“I can pay for the single cigarette if that’s what you want?” Conan remarked as he grabbed 20cents off his wallet and handed them to the man.

The man stood there stunned, then suddenly he smiled, taking the money he gave him his half finished cigarette in his hand.

“Rude…” Conan mumbled to himself but took a drag from that cigarette none the less. It was a bit wet because of the other man’s lips that had touched it and the light was going to disappear soon as the small flame that remained flickered with uncertainty in the wind…

Suddenly the black haired man extended his hand. “Pay up, I’ll take those 20 cents as an initial payment.” He spoke with a deep voice.

“What?” Conan looked back at the man that demanded more money off of him. ‘What does this guy think he can become rich off of a cigarette? Ridiculous.’ He thought to himself and tossed the remainder of it on the ground. “Never mind.” He’d barely taken a single drag and he already felt like there was no point to it. He tried to walk away but was grabbed by the black haired man and held down, pushed to the ground. “What’s the big deal?!”

“I said pay up, you think you can just run away when you owe me money?” The man adjusted his glasses with his free hand and with the other he effortlessly kept Conan on the ground.

‘Why did I have to ask for a cigarette from an insane man?!’ Conan wondered to himself as he struggled but to no avail, the more he did, the other’s grip grew stronger. The cold concrete beneath him was extremely uncomfortable…