Placeholder (MxM)

The Lonely And The Damned part 2

“Ah, I see you don’t remember, I will refresh your memory.” The man approached me and leaned over my shoulder towards my ear he whispered. “You don’t mean anything to anyone here, you’re just a useless doll that’s being tossed around from one man to another.” He then pulled back triumphantly. “That’s that.”

The next thing I did… I probably shouldn’t have… because it was the exact thing that put me into trouble…

“GHAAA!!!” I kicked the man in his crotch almost instinctively, on impulse, I couldn’t control it but my anger from that day had boiled over and seeped through. I couldn’t hold back at all.

“Next time you speak like that to me and you’re dead!” I cursed at him and spit on him while he was on the ground.

I grew up in a small village where fighting and disputes weren’t anything too uncommon, and maybe that’s where I went wrong, my entire existence was wrong…

“You guys better control that doll of yours…” As he slowly stood up from the ground, he used every fiber of his being to keep a cool expression on his face. He left soon after maybe because of the embarrassment, maybe because of the pain, either way I was glad he was gone but the two men around me didn’t share the sentiment…

“Why on earth… would you do that to Jacobs?” Grayson stared at me in disbelief, Bradley who was the more talkative of the two had remained silent for this part.

“I…” Of to Hell with trying to be polite! I said I’d do whatever I want in this life, right? “I just showed him what happens when he messes with me. I’m no one’s property and I won’t be treated like such!” I said while stuffing my hands inside my pockets somewhat like an enraged toddler, but I thought that most characters in movies looked rather cool when they do that.

“Ha… that’s bad, really bad but also unbelievably impressive…” Suddenly Bradley seemed to recover from his shell shock and came back to reality. He smiled while looking at me. “You might not be as useless as I initially thought you were.” He smiled all the more meaningfully.

“What?” I raised an eyebrow as the two men looked at one another as if they were speaking without using any words.

“I don’t care what you go with her after our deal is up. Right now she’s my wife.” Grayson chimed in again as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “So you don’t get to decide what happens to her.” He warned him.

Bradley raised his arms in the air almost like a surrender. “It’s fine, it’s just two months, it will pass by in no time.” He remarked as he then locked eyes with me. “Be careful until then…” He warned and headed out the door.

Maybe the stress of him being here and now the relief of him leaving got to me as I felt faint… oh… or maybe it was just because of the alcohol I drank… but I passed out and last thing I remember was still being held by Grayson who made sure I didn’t fall…

Chapter 3: In A Coma

***

By the time I woke up it was already the middle of the night… A warm breeze from the outside came over me. I opened my eyes and was faced with a large terrace, the curtains were being gently swayed and the moon was outside shining brightly. I stood up my hazy vision only able to focus on the moon…

The moon was always the thing that stood out most at night time… more than anything else, even the sun during the day wasn’t as interesting as the moon was, it was special…

There were many stories written about the moon… it was so bright and beautiful, there was something magical about it… unlike the stars that surrounded it, they were many, far too many to ever be counted and their light had already burnt out by the time they reach our eyes… The thought of it all made me sad, it wasn’t poetic at all, just heartbreaking…

To be one of many starts… but there is only one moon in our little lost small world… only one, there couldn’t be another…

I rummaged around the room then noticed a jacket, it probably belonged to Grayson, I felt it on him before, the smell of cigarettes…

Finally I found the pack he had in his jacket and grabbed the lighter along with them. Heading out to the terrace I was met with the night sky that always looked beautiful but that night in particular it was magical.

Maybe because I was on the balcony of an unbelievably expensive mansion… smoking what seems like a luxurious brand of cigarettes, I didn’t even know they made stuff like these…

As I lit up the cigarette I held in between my fingers, I slowly inhaled the smoke, a bitter taste filling my mouth. I hadn’t smoked in months but after such a chaotic day, I felt like I had to… The stress was really getting to me, even if I try to act like I don’t care about anything…

I still have all my memories of a past that’s still ongoing… I can’t leave it all behind either but I can’t choose what to do here and now…

As I closed my eyes I leaned over the hand rail, slowly exhaling a cloud of smoke. I leaned further forward, it was beautiful.

“What are you doing, trying to fall and hit your head again?” A grating voice sounded from behind me. It was Grayson.

“Oh? You came to honor me with you company?” I didn’t bother glancing back as I continued smoking.

“You’ve never smoked before, what’s more these are my cigarettes you’re holding.” Grayson spoke as he extended his hand in a gesture for me to give them back to him.

I gently put out the half finished cigarette I held in my mouth and then placed it in his hand. “Here, all yours.”

Grayson stared at me as I grabbed another one and lit it up slowly. I tried to ignore him but his gaze was digging into me more and more. I could feel it in every part of my being. “You have something to say?” I asked.

“I was wondering if it’s possible for a person to become so different after a concussion.” Grayson said as he placed the cigarette I gave him in his mouth!

I expected him to throw it away but instead he put it in his mouth! Then he grabbed my chin and placed our cigarettes next to each other, so he could use mine to lit up his.

“I have your lighter as well…” I remarked as I showed it in my hand.

“It’s already done.” Grayson remarked as he exhaled a large cloud of smoke, much bigger than the one I had before.

“These are really strong cigarettes, you won’t live long if you continue to smoke like that.” I spoke lowly as I noticed the box was more than halfway finished.

“I don’t really care if I live long or not.” Grayson said with a smirk on his face. Probbaly the first time I see him smile. “So, you didn’t answer my question.”

“Hm?” I turned to glance at him then exhailed a cloud of smoke, I leaned against the handrail once more. “How should I know? I’m just who I am… that’s that… I’m not acting any different than before, at least I don’t think I am, this is what’s coming natural to me.” I spoke a bunch of nonsense hoping he would change the subject.

It’s not like he’d demand an explanation from a patient that latterly got discharged the same day, right?

Even if he did there isn’t any logical explanation I could give him that would satisfy his curiosity…

Besides that young woman is already dead, even if he wanted her back… the old her back, it’s far and gone.

“If I knew you’d become this interesting, I would have been the one to push you myself so you’d fall on your head.” Grayson snorted in a low manner.

“This is not a joke, someone died and you dare stand there and speak so lightly of it?” I looked up at him, I wasn’t glaring but my eyes were clearly indicating my seriousness. “I won’t allow you to be so foolish, not towards…” My tongue almost slipped. I was going to say not towards this child… but I can’t say that, after all… I’m the one in her body now.

“No one died, well maybe the old you did. But in the end it’s all your decision anyways. I had nothing to do with it.” Grayson said as he put out the remainder of the cigarette he held between his lips.

“Men like you aren’t the least bit attractive.” I told him. It was obvious he didn’t care for anything I had to say at the time.

“Really?” Grayson moved closer, I tried to ignore him and didn’t turn around, another mistake…

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in, then kissed me. I was out of breath, I struggled but I was still a bit weak in the knees from before… I forget I was in the hospital not 10 hours prior…

“Mgh… ngh… gh! Ah… let go already!” I pulled back as I stared up at him, I’d bit his lip hard enough for him to bleed.

“You didn’t used to reject my advances. I thought you liked me, isn’t it why you agreed to this?” Grayson continued questioning me.

Almost as if he’s doubting I really have amnesia.

“Agreed to what exactly? I don’t remember anything.” I told him while staring him down. Now he was the one to leisurely lean against the handrail. Suddenly I notice the cigarette box and the lighter I had in my hands, were now suddenly in his.

“Being my wife, you agreed to it.” Grayson explained although it wasn’t of much help to me.

“For what purpose?” I asked, my voice was breaking a little bit because of the kiss or maybe because I yelled too much for a single day.

I wonder what was the girl in this body thinking? Agreeing to become the wife of a man like that, for what?

Being humiliated and mistreated wasn’t worth it…

“Your family’s safety… but I thought it was no secret you secretly liked me as well.” Grayson remarked. This is what’s bad about handsome rich people, they think everyone likes them and that the world revolves around them.

“I don’t like you right now, not one little bit.” I admitted.

“Too bad, I happen to like you now more than before. You used to be a very vapid woman.” Grayson spoke lowly almost like he was cursing my name.

“Maybe you were always too self absorbed to get to know anything about her- I mean me…” I paused for a bit.

He seemed to be thinking for a second. “Maybe.” Grayson’s voice carried an indifference that I didn’t imagine could exist in a normal well functioning human being.

“I don’t care about this deal, I want out.” I spoke as I looked up.

“Unfortunately for you, you’ll have to stay with me for at least two months more, that was our deal. It doesn’t matter what you think.” Grayson’s words sent a shiver down my spine.

How come it didn’t matter? It should matter what I think…

“But I will help you out since you’re so pitiful.” Grayson said while glancing at me sideways. “I will change the deal a bit, what do you want for these two months?” He asked me.

“Hm? Well…” I didn’t even need to think about it for too long. “Money obviously… Oh, an apartment, maybe a car. Do I have a driver’s licence?” I asked him completely serious.

“Haha…” Grayson laughed to himself. Did he think this is funny?!

“Hey!” Before I could say anything else he nodded his head and extended his hand.

“Sure, you’ll get your money, the apartment and a car.” Grayson agreed.

“What do you get in return?” I asked him, I wasn’t stupid enough to believe he was a generous man willing to help me out, out of the goodness of his dear heart.

“I get you for these two months, you’ll listen to me and not embarrass me.” Grayson explained.

“I also want freedom, I can’t be confined here and I won’t follow everything you say like a puppet… but I will do my best not to embarrass you either.” I made a compromise.

“Who exactly do you think has the upper hand here? You’re getting bold in your demands.” Grayson said as he lit up another cigarette, this time I grabbed it out of his mouth and held his extended hand.

“I’m just trying to live my life to the best of my abilities you know?” I told him as I placed the cigarette in my mouth, it was supposed to be a power play but I hated the fact he got some of his saliva on it. Still I powered through and puffed out a small circle of smoke. “You have a deal.” I shook his hand in mid air and let go quickly.

“Seriously…” I watched Grayson stare at me in deep contemplation. “Who are you?”

With a bit of deliberation on my part I smiled as I turned to him. “It’s obvious, I’m your wife.”

END of The Lonely And The Damned