I Am Angel

The Call

After finding out terrible things that my father did in his addiction towards my sister made me hate myself more. And gave my mother more reason to treat me the way she fit. My papa was gone so there was no one to protect from her anger. I honestly felt that I deserved everything that was done to me. It was my father's actions so I felt I had to pay. So I just kept my head down and kept quiet. "It's my fault anyway. No use in crying over it." is what I would tell my self. It wasn't until the last time my mother put her hands on me and tried to end my life that I felt God starting to shift things. 

Me and my mother got into a argument where I finally decided to speak.

"All my life I have never met such a pathetic person." she told me, enough was enough when I finally screamed

"You made me like this! You never cared about me, Papa did! I'm not my father,when will you see that?!"

The punch to my eye made it black and swollen instantly. I ran…I couldn't take it anymore. I was running down the street when I saw a puddle of water and stopped at it to see look at my face. I cried because I knew if I went to church that night everyone would see my eye and know what was going on. I couldn't take it.

Replaying in my head was my dad telling that I was his angel and I was special.

"No I'm not! I'm a mistake!" I kept screaming in my head.

I kept running until I got to the bridge I would always stare at. "This is it." I thought. "No turning back."

I was sitting on the guardrail screaming at God.

" If you are real and you can hear me,you need to do something now! I can't do this anymore! This is your last chance to show me your real! No one cares about me anyway! What's your choice?! " I waited about 5 minutes. I stood up thinking "Here I go"

I took my foot off the guardrail and was about to let go when my phone started ringing. I picked it not even looking at the caller id. It was my bestfriend at the time…

" Hey girl, Why didn't you text me back? "

" I didn't hear my phone ring. "

A car honked when I was telling her.

" Hey, how come that car was so loud? Where are you? "

" I'm on the bridge. "

I couldn't lie to her even if I tried.

" WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE BRIDGE?! "

" I don't know. "

I really didn't anymore.

" Well here's what I know. Your are going to walk off of that bridge and I'm picking you up. That's what I know. "

" Okay "

I honestly had nothing better to say. So after we hung up I looked at the sky and said…

" You got jokes God. You really do. "

I knew right then and there he was real.