I Am Angel

My Best Friend

When my mother wasn't making me feel unwanted I was with my grandfather 24/7. I can never complain, I give that amazing man 100% credit for raising me. He taught me the important things. How to read,write and,most importantly in my life,how not to see color, to see the person. See them in love. Which is very important to me because I'm mixed and I was teased constantly in elementary school because of the fact I didn't look my grandfather or my mother. I used to feel like my mom didn't want me when she would get phone calls from school saying I got in a fight for defending myself. I felt it in her eyes when I got the death stare when she would walk into the office. I would always ask them to please call my grandfather but, because he was my grandparent, not my parent guess who they had to call? And I would get it when I would get home. I felt nothing but hate when she would hit me and it felt that was mostly the only time we spent together. I wasn't my sister so I didn't get my mothers happy attitude. So as soon as I would walk in the door I would run as fast as I could to my grandfathers room. That was where I was safe and my mother wouldn't dare to go in his room. So that's where I would stay until she might calm down. Papa would always soothe me saying 

"It's okay,everything is going to be okay."

I would always ask him crying

"Papa,why does Mom hate me so much? Am I bad?" He would look me right in my brown tear-stained eyes and saying

" You've done nothing wrong you understand me? It's because of what your father did to her why she acts this way but, you haven't done nothing wrong. Your not bad."

"Do you hate my dad Papa?" I would ask him. And he told me this… "I don't care for your dad for what he put your mother through. But, I acknowledge him because he gave me something that is so important me."

He lift up my head and said

"He gave me you"

My papa always knew how to make me feel wanted, I knew we would be bestfriends forever. But, when I was 5 months passed my 13th birthday my bestfriend passed away. I miss him so much still to this day almost 15 years later. But if I'm being completely honest if it wasn't for him entering heaven,my true journey never would have started.