LIKE STARS THAT FADE

She sat at the sea shore letting the cold breeze of the night consume her,why was the night so beautiful and peaceful yet filled her mind with memories she begged to forget .Yet the memories kept playing in her mind like burning flames threatening to burn down her mind making her chest sink. Why did she have to see him again? Hazel took out her phone ,she tried to write down on her diary .What it feels like to let go of some one you love .But as she stared at the page it remained empty. How do you put into words the weight of silence that never end? How do you describe the ache of missing someone that even your memories feel fragile like whispers in the wind? The truth is ,there are no words for the kind of loss that changes who you are .It's a language of tears and an understanding shared only by those who have walked that path. But the pages stayed blank because it's a loss she choose for herself a love she choose to let go. But then love even in it's absence is bigger than words its proof of just how deeply they matter. "Are you planing to freeze yourself to death ,here take this",Ella waked toward Hazel handing her a small blanket. Hazel took a deep breath and turned to face her friend who was now standing beside her. "How long will he stay in my heart?Hazel asked her friend who always seemed to have the right answers "For as long as you love him. "Will i always be sad ? "Apart of you yes,"even though she felt sad seeing her like this there was nothing she could do this was beyond her. "What about the other parts?Hazel asked this time with a cracked voice. "They will find a new way to breath ,walk wake up and live .Hazel if you must hold on to someone or just one treasure ,there must be hope .Hope that whispers of bright tomorrow that points possibility across your darkest skies.So you should ask yourself is there is hope? I'll go back inside you should come as well don't take long out here".with that Ella walked away Hope? was there any hope left no there was none some pieces are meant to remain broken. Hazel once thought that the greatest loss in a person's life is losing someone you once loved deeply but after crossing paths with him again. She realized that a loss a thousand times greater than that is losing someone who loved you perfectly and unconditionally.Today she found out that the person who once loved her with tender care,like a doting pet no longer felt the same and had moved on she felt a sharp pain in her chest the pain that left her confused unable to think and reason well . It was not because she had lost someone whom she love but because she lost someone who loved her ,the regret teared her apart and the admiration she felt for someone else suddenly dried up like a river in drought. Because that's when it hit her like a bomb that she was still in love with him deep down her heart, her love for him ,her love for him burnes for a life time ,like a flame without a cause that's how she love him blindly without a reason. That's why she felt the pain when she learned that he was with someone else,the person who once waited for her like a faithful dog was still waiting but not for her anymore . But why did she feel like that,she wanted him to be swept away by the current yes sometime she thought he would stay though it was selfish of her she wanted him to.But deep down she knew she was burning and she didn't want to burn him down with her. So why was she in so much pain why did her heart ache and felt so heavy why did she loss her breath and felt like she was suffocating. Shouldn't she be happy that in his touch and presence there's no trace of her anymore,even if her time ends today he won't cry ,miss or suffer a great loss. This was her only way to prepare her self for her end making sure no one will feel her loss or miss her more.She wanted to disappear like a faded star but now her star shine bright and there is nothing that she badly wants but to live again. It all stared when she regained her memories suddenly the place where her heart once felt complete and whole in a light bulb moment felt empty. This place where a lot of memories lingered like an endless home where forgotten dreams and love once grew ,where echoes reside ghost of yesterday abide . Their voices whispers weave of fragile tide that pulls us back to what has died . But there she was back to the place where she lost two souls who meant the world to her within a short time a lot seemed to have changed here . "Am glad you come sister ,thank you i didn't expect you to come ".And there she was her sister even the word sister sounded so odd to her. There we're days when she wished that Anna would love and treat her as her little sister but then that day never come . "Why am i even here to see what? how you guys have turned this place into just go and look around."Hazel stood up and walked past her sister. "Aren't you going to ask what happened to her.Anna asked making Hazel to stop "No i won't,and please don't give me that look .Did she ever ask about me ? What had happen to me?or even where i was? ,huh! your silent wow...I'll answers then she didn't not even a bit-So tell me why should i care about her...huh why...? Hazel felt broken watching her self falling just to be smashed on the floor all her life she kept trying to turn out the fights tried to turn off the lights but nothing. She was supposed to be a winner a star worth so much more yet her own mother made her feel like suffocating like she was worth nothing . "Hazel regardless she is still your mother . "Mother!!?did you just say a mother,she..she was never one to me all she did was recent me i was nothing to her you were her pride but I...I..I meant nothing. At that moment she felt like crashing as if something was chocking her but she wasn't the little girl anymore. "Hazel i ...".Hazel raised her hand stopping her sister she needed to get out of here. "Anna not now I'll go back inside am really tired i need to rest and am not here for her am here because of dad ,he had asked me to always be there for you. With that Hazel walked back to the villa she stopped half way while heading to her room to that familiar door.She didn't dare open it she never thought she would return to this place.In the hollow of the night wondered a ghost in her own skin each step she took was a whisper of echoes of the past where laughter once danced now shadows thin not a day past without Hazel missing her father. Now all she does is wear her scars like heavy chains binding her to the memories .To her, every smile feels like a mask a fragile shield against the light . But why is she the only one who is barely holding on ,wearing a smile like an armor,a mask to hide the fights drifting between the what's if and why's the reasons seemed lost in time making her a fragile soul on fragile days.