EMPIRE OF LUST

HEAVEN. Age Eight I ran as fast as my frail legs could carry me, my heart pounding against my ribcage like it would burst open. I am frightened and my legs are getting weaker and sorer from running such a long distance, but I couldn't stop. I know if I did, I would die. Those bad men will catch me and they'll do to me what they did to mama and my unborn sister. Papa said to run to the stable and hide there, so those bad men wouldn't find me. He said I should stay there and not make any sound, unless I was found and killed. Papa left with his big gun and he promised he was going to come back for me. From behind me, the gunshots were louder and more frequent. I blinked away the tears that had blurred my sight and they fell on my face, as I continued to run. When I got to the stable, it was locked with a big padlock. No! I've to go inside and hide. How can I go inside now, since the door is locked with a big lock? I didn't want to make any sound, fearing one of those bad men might be near and would hear me and shoot me with their big guns. I needed to go inside and hide. I don't want to die. I tried pulling the padlock, hoping it'd magically open, but it was stuck and my hands weren't strong enough, like, Papa's or Uncle Lincoln, or any of the other workers. I needed the keys or something bigger. I can break the lock with it. Looking around, I hoped to see a thick wood, or some rock I could hit the padlock with, but nothing was there I could work with. Absolutely nothing. I rushed to the backyard, to see if the window was open, so I could climb through from there, but the window was closed too. In desperation, I pulled the empty barrel lying carelessly on the floor and pushed it against the wooden shed, then I climbed onto it. Luckily, I was able to pull the window open and I jumped through, landing inside, on the hay that was stacked on the floor. Papa or one of the workers must have stacked them there for tomorrow's use. It was very dark and scary inside the stable, but this time, I didn't mind the darkness. Papa taught me how to overcome my fear of the dark. I always hate the dark and papa said I'm nyctophobic. He said to always count sheep and keep my back against the wall whenever I find myself in a dark place. In the darkness, I glided into one of the stable partitions and placed my back against the wooden wall, coiling myself like a ball. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, four sheep, five sheep......twenty sheep.....thirty sheep.... I shut my eyes and rocked myself like mama used to rock me when I have had a terrible nightmare and I continue to count sheep while waiting for papa to come to get me. I didn't know for how long I'd stayed in the stable before I started hearing the indistinct voices outside. I pulled my knees closer until they began to hurt, but I didn't dare make any sound. The door burst open and I shuddered with fear. The voices outside were becoming clearer and I heard one of the men say, "Burn everything to the ground. The boss was specific about having no survivors left." In my childish brain, I deduce immediately, they're no other survivors left, except me. They've killed papa too. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to make any sound. I bit the material out of my pajamas, so I didn't emit any sound. Soon, I heard our horses neigh uncontrollably like they were being threatened and I immediately opened my eyes. It was very dark, darker than night and the air was getting thick. I perceived something else in the atmosphere and I panicked. Smoke! There was smoke everywhere and it smell of burning wood filled my nostrils like gas. Papa used to say I have an incredible sense of smell, because of how quick I'm to deduce any odd smell around me. I sprung up from the concrete floor and I hurried out of the stable partition, trying to find my way to the door, but the thick smoke seized my lungs and I began to cough uncontrollably. I tried to ward off the smoke, but I couldn't breathe anymore. I coughed, wheezed and I choked. The smoke filled my eyes and every other opening in my body. I heard the door slam shut and the sound that followed was from the wailing horses and the sound of my shallow breaths. My legs couldn't hold me up any longer, because of how weak they had become. I fell to the hard ground, holding my chest as I continued to cough and choke. I saw my life slowly seeping from my body, but I made no attempt to catch it. Why should I? Papa was gone, so was mama and my unborn sister. Why should I try to get my life back when everyone else is dead? Of what use is my living? I closed my eyes and tears dropped from both my eyes, then, I gave in to the darkness calling unto me from afar. I regained consciousness at a start, but I couldn't open my eyes. My eyelids were heavy like someone had glued them together and now, they're inseparable. I tried to move my body, but I couldn't even feel any part of it except my head, because of its heaviness as I tried to lift it from the soft landing I was lying on. I also noticed there were layers of some soft materials around my face and my head too. What's happening to me? What's my name and who am I? Where am I and how did I get here? I couldn't recall anything. There were no memories inside my head, nothing at all. Everything was blank and black, like a fathomless hole. I began to hear voices, indistinct voices and I struggled to free my eyelids from themselves, so I could see where I was and ask questions about how I got here. "I tell you, doctor, I saw her finger twitch." A deep voice said as several footsteps approached me in a hurry. I couldn't recognize the voices nor place them with anyone familiar. Who do I even know to recognize his or her voice, when I don't remember a thing? I can't even tell what I look like or what I don't. "You are sure, Mr. Casteel?" Another voice, still unrecognizable, said to the first voice, and before the first voice could reply to him, I heard another voice announce hysterically, "Doctor Baird, I just saw her thumb twitch!" This third voice isn't deep and gruff like the first two were, it was softer. I felt someone move towards me and their hand raised mine. That was the first time I felt another part of my body, other than my head. Whoever it was, I pressed my elbow and I winced softly, creasing my forehead. It hurts! I wanted to tell the person to stop, but I could neither open my mouth nor my eyes. "Heaven, if you can hear me, wiggle your fingers." One of the deep and gruff voices said to me. Heaven....is my name Heaven? How come I don't remember that either? What really happened to me? "You see, I told you she'd finally regained her consciousness." The second deep and gruff voice said. I could sense the excitement in his voice. Who's he and why's he so concerned about my revival? "Thank goodness, my daughter is finally coming back to me.' The second voice added and my brows creased in confusion. Daughter? Is he my papa? "Isn't it time to remove it?" I fought desperately to open my eyes and see his face, but my glued eyelids still couldn't separate themselves. Wait...is he really my papa? "We aren't certain yet, Mr. Casteel. She might be semiconscious, in the sense that her brain is awake and responding, but her physical body isn't." The first voice explained to the second, "When the patient's physical anatomy is in a vegetative state, their neurological systems and brain cells are awake, transmitting signals to other parts of the body. A few may respond to the stimulus, causing reflexes, but most of them don't." I didn't even understand a word of what the voice had said, but I was eager to open my eyes and see my papa. "What about the bandage?" The second voice asked, "Not yet, Mr. Casteel. We've to wait until she's fully conscious, then we can take off the bandage." I'm awake. I just want to open my eyes and let them know that. The more I tried to separate my eyelids and make a sound, the more difficult it proved to achieve such a feat, so I decided to give it a rest and force myself to sleep. Maybe, when I wake up, this will all be a nightmare.