sweetened desires

chapter 7

Chapter 7

Amber’s POV

I woke to the feeling of being lifted off the sofa and into someone’s arm’s while they carried me somewhere, I knew who it was instantly the smell of clove cigarettes and men’s aftershave was a dead give away, while I listened to my heart nearly thump out of my chest from just being so darn close to him.

I kept my eyes tightly closed while I listened to his foot steps carry me away, I didn’t want to open my eye’s in case I spooked him and he put me down again.

I inhaled his smell and let it over take me while I held onto him for dear life never wanting to let him go but I knew once we got to where ever he was taking me, I knew I would have to let go.

I heard the sound of a door opening and shutting behind him, so I peaked out under my eye lids and new we were in my room, he placed me softly onto the mattress of my bed, he took off my shoe’s and pulled the cover’s over me covering my body.

He placed a light kiss gently on my forehead while he whispered in the dark. “ I’m sorry princess I never meant to make you sad, I promise I’ll be a good father to our unborn baby.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and the bed dipped from his weight and I could feel his eye’s on me watching me while I pretended to still be asleep, he watched me for a little while longer then he got up and headed for the door.

I could hear his Footsteps getting further and further away until finally I heard the door creek open and then click shut, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding onto.

Silent tear’s slid down my face and I buried my head into my comforter and let my tear’s flow and my fears finally come to light, I knew I was a coward not letting him know I was awake but I wasn’t ready to face him.

I was worried I wouldn’t be a good mother to my unborn baby I was barely 18, what if I messed up and they ended up hating me, heaven knows I haven’t made many good choice’s lately, how am I supposed to raise another human being who is reliant on me fully to keep them alive.

I would have no clue what I was doing not to mention that I would eventually have to tell them of their conception to them, I can’t exactly say I’m sorry Honey but we conceived you on a hook up in a nightclub bathroom after i only knew your father for 24 hours now how about a cookie, yep that will go down lovely mother of the year.

Speaking of that night I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since the night it happened to say I wasn’t tempted to walk the couple of feet to his door and climb into bed with him was an understatement, I knew it would be amazing because he felt amazing the first time but no I had to be strong and stay away from temptation no matter how much I wanted to feel him inside me again as I quivered around his growing length.

I looked at the wall at the end of my bed for what seemed like eternity watching the light from the moon shine on the wall through from the window until finally darkness takes over me and I finally drift off to sleep consisting of more bad reminder’s that i was in fact doing this alone.

......................................................

I woke to the smell of caffeine turning my inside’s it overwhelmed me so I didn’t know if I would make into the bathroom on time.

I stumbled out of bed nearly slipping over in the process and ran for the bathroom hunching myself over the toilet bowl, just in time as the bile Rose up from the pit of my stomach and into the toilet, I would never get used to the morning sickness and the fish market at mall was the worst, I felt like I could still smell it even well after I was long gone.

I sat on the cold tiled floor leaning my head against the wall while I waited for my stomach to stop doing summer salts.

“Amber!” Adam called out my name from outside the room somewhere.

“I’m in here.” I didn’t care enough to be embarrassed about what he may think about my appearance right now I was tired and sick, I couldn’t care less.

“ Hey did you want some ......... Oh crap! Are you okay?” Adam said entering the bathroom with a glass of juice in his hand the look in his eyes showed how concerned he was and maybe a little scared but nah It was just my imagination playing tricks he was probably just worried about the baby.

“ Yeah, I’ll be fine it’s just morning sickness should pass soon, could you help me off the floor please?”

“Sure, give me a second I’ll put this down first.” He gestured towards the cup of juice in his hands, he placed the juice on the shelf beside the sink and placed his hands in mine to pull me up off the floor.

“thanks.” I murmured under my breath walking towards the sink to splash some cold water on my face.

I didn’t lie to him I was fine most of the time but those other time’s like right now it took a lot out of me, I felt weak and my head was spinning around but the need to have to empty my stomach was finally gone.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror was like looking at a ghost of my former self, my skin had become deathly pale, my red auburn hair now stuck to my face and my green eyes now had a tinge of red surrounding them that made me look more like one of the undead.

I splashed some more could water on my face in attempt to cool myself off, I let out a long sigh it felt so nice and refreshing.

“ Are you sure your okay babe? you look close to death’s door.”

“gee thanks, just what every pregnant lady want’s to hear.” I said sarcastically rolling eyes.

“ I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, at least let me run a shower for you.” He turned towards the shower and turned it on while I peeled my clothes from my skin from the night before.

I felt his eye’s watching me as I undress, stepping into the shower i let the warm water slide down my body “ are you going to stand there all day gawking or get out so I can take a shower?” smirking to myself I love feeling his eyes on me like I’m the most beautiful women in the world, I never felt uncomfortable with him like I did with other man.

“ I could or I could join you and we could get all soaped up and steamy in their instead.” He replied back winking at me, I almost wanted to ask if he had something in his eye but instead I just said “you wish jelly fish.”

I laugh inwardly at my lame attempt at a flirtatious remark, he left the bathroom picking up the juice from the counter chuckling to himself shaking his head, yep it’s official he thinks I’m a dork.

I’m glad he didn’t try harder to convince me to let him stay in the bathroom otherwise I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from asking his sexy ass to join me.

After finally spending 20 minutes washing away my morning horror’s I turn off the shower and reach for the fluffy purple towel hanging on the outside of the shower door, standing In front of the bathroom mirror I run my hands slowly over my stomach gently rubbing circles into my stomach, I wouldn’t be showing for another month or so but I already felt so attached to the baby with in me.

After I finished dressing I walked my way to the kitchen making myself a cup of ginger tea and some dry toast I didn’t feel like eating much at the moment stomach was still turning and I needed something to calm it down, once I was finally finished I went into my office to do some work I had gotten a little behind recently and had a lot to catch up on.

I turned my music on and opted for a little rascal Flatts to get me motivated for the long daunting process that lay a head of me.

“ better get on it I suppose.” I mutter to myself .

I had been working for awhile I finally stopped to have a break, I was starting to get hungry after only eating the toast earlier and I had a bad craving for a big meaty hamburger and some greasy fries smothered in ketchup but before I could make plans to call for delivery their was a knock at my office door.

“Come in.” I say looking up from my phone I expected it to be Adam but instead I got the shock of my life a smile spread across my face instantly.

“hey stranger.” Toby said putting his hands in his jeans.

He had changed since I last seen him, his black hair was cut shorter pulled back into a ponytail it suited his dark chocolate brown eyes and 6 ft 2 build.

If he wasn’t my best friend and didn’t already have a lover he loved but their had been a time in my life once when I had wanted to be his lover but thing’s worked out for the best.

“Hey their beautiful, miss me?” he said smiling his sexy boyish smile at me, I got out of my office chair so quick I nearly slipped over on the hard tiled floor, I leaped into his strong arms laughing.

“ You have no bloody idea, everyday was torturous without your big head, where is your better half?” I said referring to Toby’s partner who he had moved away with a couple of months ago, to say I was lost without my best friend was a understatement we had always done everything together up until recently.

“ we aren’t together anymore.” His smile disappeared and I could tell he was hurting she was his first love.

“ Oh I’m sorry Tobs, I know how much she meant to you.” I said squeezing his shoulder lightly, I put my feet back on the ground while keeping my arms wrapped tightly around him I didn’t want to let my best friend go just yet.

“What happened? I thought you guys were happy.”

“she had met someone else at her work, she said couldn’t keep pretending like everything was okay anymore, she said she could see my heart was never fully hers to begin with and she was right it just took me a while to realise it” I looked at him shocked i didn’t know what to say if he heart wasn’t with her then where was it.

“ I don’t understand, if it wasn’t with her then where was it.” The words just kind of fell out of my mouth he grabbed my chin pointing it up towards him.

“ Amber this girl has been in my life a very long time and I was to blind to see it .” he shuffled his feet nervously and I was becoming more and confused by the second.

“ You see Amber the person I’m in love with is......” the door to my office swung open and Adam walked in, his eyes were fixated on something and I realised I was still holding onto Toby so I pulled away.

Toby and Adam stared daggers at one another and I had to try diffuse the situation that was going on.

“Adam.” I began but he just looked at me and stormed out the door. “shit.”