My Guardian Angel

Chapter 12

The next morning I was exhausted. I was tossing and turning the whole night thinking about what happened yesterday. Walking away from Julian was the dumbest mistake that I have ever made. I never looked back when I marched away from him. He never came after me and so I decided to come home. I know my mom has been a real pain, but right now I need to say my proper goodbyes. I know dying is going to be hard on the family, but I can’t stop thinking about it. My soul is screaming to be released and my mind is begging me comply. I have never felt so at peace thinking about dying. My mind wanted me to let go. My soul felt as if it was detaching itself from my body if that even makes sense. 

Maybe dying isn’t so bad my mind whispered. Dying feels like my only salvation. Life has not been kind to me and for a girl so small in a world this big just doesn’t makes sense anymore. Did even have a purpose? I decided that I would drown myself in the pool. It is at my home and then my parents doesn’t have to go and search for a body. I know suicide isn’t the answer to any problems, but I feel drawn to death. It feels like death is calling me to join them, my soul is screaming to be released and my mind is begging me.

After getting dressed in a white sundress with my white pumps I was ready to face my parents. 

‘Good morning mom. How did you sleep?’ I asked my mom as I sat down at the dining room table and taking in the smell of homemade flapjacks with butter and orange juice for breakfast. My mom likes to cook and it shows. She cooks better than the restaurants in the city. She has an extraordinary talent, it just came easily to her.

‘Good morning sweetie. I slept wonderful knowing that you were home again.’ She came over to my chair and gave me a kiss on my cheek. My dad was already at work and Aaron was staying with a friend.

‘Have you heard anything from Aaron yet? I really want to see him today.’ I tried to say in a steady voice. I don’t want my mom to get suspicious of my behavior even though I wanted to cry.   

‘I’m afraid not sweetie, but I’m sure he will be back before you know it.' she said and smiled at me.

After breakfast I went upstairs to my room. I couldn’t wait any longer so I locked my door and opened my window. My mind was soothing me and my soul couldn't wait to be free. I climbed out of my window and onto the roof. When I was near the pool I dived in and stayed under the water. Drowning yourself is quite easy when you have the willpower to die. The whole time my mind was telling me that is was going to okay, soothing me and promising me a better life. I sat at the bottom of the pool and thought about the rush I got from almost falling myself to death and smiled. This was my time and no one was taking this away from me. I remember feeling dizzy and sleepy, I was getting tired. When I couldn’t hold my breath anymore I opened my mouth and when the water hit my lungs I passed out. I just remember the darkness swallowing me whole.   

I woke up in a big open room. The walls were as white as snow and the floors shone a bright white light. It was so big and the hallway looked like it could go on forever.

‘Hello?’ I called out. I heard my voice echo down the hall. It was so beautiful here. Peaceful.

‘Ava, you have arrived.’ said a voice. I could hear a male voice, but I didn’t see anyone.

‘Who are you?’ I asked the male voice. ‘That is not important. What is important is that it is not your time Ava.’

‘I don’t understand. Death was calling to me. I felt it in my soul. It was begging me to set it free’ I pleaded with the man.

‘You were tricked my dear. Someone was tampering with your mind. You have a long life ahead of you Ava and there are a lot of people that is depending on you. You are a fighter Ava. There is a reason that you have survived when you should have died. You are special and your father sees it in you.’

‘Why am I special? What makes me so special?’ I asked the man. 

‘I cannot tell you Ava. This is something that you have to figure out on your own. You are in this alone Ava. I am sorry that I cannot be more of a help. You are on a sacred journey to save a lot of souls and you are the only one who can unlock the mysteries. Look deep inside your soul for the answers Ava. You have a lot of knowledge that is locked away.’ He replied. I searched for the man, but I couldn’t see anything. It was only this loud voice and it sounded as if it was coming through the walls of the hallway.

‘Please, you have to help me. Who is trying to hurt me?’

‘I am very sorry. You have to uncover their identity on your own Ava. Never forget who you are. You are salvation.’

‘This doesn’t make any sense. Am I dreaming?’ I am so confused.

‘You are not dreaming my child. Look down there.’

When I looked at the floor the ground opened up. I could see myself in the pool. I was face down in the pool . I gasped and started to cry.

‘I died, didn't I?’ I asked but I already knew the answer. 

‘You did my child. I am sorry you felt so alone. I know you are scared and confused, but great things awaits you. Always remember that you are loved by a lot of people Ava. You are very special, you just have to start believing it too.’

‘Why have I been chosen?’

‘There is a prophecy about you Ava. That is all I can tell you.’

The voice vanished and I was alone staring down at my body. How could I have been so naive? I have never done anything like this. I feel so alone. 

And just like that I was back into my body coughing up water. I sat up and spat out some more water. I couldn’t stop coughing.

‘Are you alright angel?’ I felt someone rubbing my back. I was lying on my side. I tried to stand up after nodding my head, but I fell down. My body was drained. He was right there to catch me. He has been there all along even though I haven't known it.

‘Thank you for saving me Julian.’ I smiled at him. He was staring at me. 

‘What?’ I asked curiously. 

‘That was not the words I expected to come out.’ He said and smiled at me with those blue glowing eyes. It looked like his eyes could see my soul. I suddenly got shy and I started to blush. 

‘Right I am sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t really… myself.’

‘So I have been told.’ He replied with a big smile on his face. He was touching my cheek. I sucked in a breath. I felt the flame from his touch. He had such an effect on me. I wondered if he would ever try to kiss me while looking at his lips. I bit my bottom lips and saw him sucking in his breath. Maybe I should make the first move? He was so close it would be so easy just to lean forward and kiss him. 

Stop it! I scolded myself. He is a guardian angel. A relationship with him would never be allowed, would it?