My Guardian Angel

Chapter 17

I don’t know how long I was asleep. It could have been minutes or maybe hours. I just knew that I was in a safe place. I felt joy and love coursing through my body, not the hate and pain I felt when Dante took me. When I opened my eyes I could see that I was in a building. It looked like a church or at least I think it was a church. It looked old and sacred.

I tried to get up but the pain made my vision go black. Maybe I did break something. I closed my eyes and tried to think about my mom and dad. I never got to tell them how much I loved them. A single tear slits down my cheek. I know that I am going to die and if Dante is not going to do it then my injuries will surely take my life. I am weak and defenseless. I don’t think I can handle another beating like that again.

I am woken up by a hand clutching onto mine. My eyelids flutter open and I see Julian sitting next to me.

‘Julian?’ I manage to say in a whisper. He looks relieved to see me finally awake. I tried to sit up, but Julian stopped me.

‘Don’t try to move. You need to rest.’ he smiles. He runs his hand through my hair and I relax.

‘How are you feeling Ava?’ I think about everything that has happened and to be perfectly honest I have been in hell literally and I don’t know if my body or soul would ever heal from that ordeal. When did my life take such a turn? 

‘I don't know how I am supposed to feel’

His face falls and I feel guilty so I try again.

‘I feel…. Alive’ is all I decide to say. What am I supposed to say? I was nearly killed and I am not allowed to move because of my injuries. I remember the prison and Dante's cruel beatings. I shiver and start to shake.

“Ava? Ava!’ He tries to stabilize me, but it is too late. The darkness was too much for me.

I hear voices in the background and yet it feels like I am dreaming. My soul is moving on and whether I like it or not, I am no longer welcome on this earth. I can hear someone crying. I don’t know who it is or if it is real, but I feel at ease. I have been fighting my whole life to stay alive. This somehow feels easier. I wanted to say goodbye to my family and Sam, but life has never been fair.

‘Don’t leave me.’ Julian’s voice drifts into my head. I stop and try to search for him. I don’t know how he is reaching me. My soul is no longer on earth.

‘It is over Julian.’ I sigh and continue to my new home.

‘No, it’s not over. Please come back. I cannot lose you.’ I stare in disbelief. He really does care about me.

‘I am sorry, but I don’t have another choice. I am no longer connected to my body.’

‘Then find another one. Please don’t go.’ Find another body? Is he being serious? I closed my eyes and focused on the church. In a flash I was back in the church hovering above my body. Without realizing it I screamed. My body was in worse shape than I have ever imagined. Tears were rolling down my cheeks nonstop and I clutched my hands to my chest.

My body lay lifeless on a bed. I touched my cheek and I felt that my body was ice cold. I had cuts on my face, my body was covered in bruises, a broken leg, and broken ribs.  Even my eyes were swollen shut. I didn’t recognize myself. I felt sick.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see that it was Julian. He took my hand and pulled me to the ground. I stood next to him in silence. How was I going to recover? My body was already dead and my soul wanted to move on.

‘Please stay.’ Julian said into my mind again.

‘How am I supposed to stay? Look at me!’ I shouted at him and pointed to my dead body and my soul. I was no longer a person. I was a spirit. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I was crying again. How was I supposed to stay?

He pulled me into an embrace and I gasped out loud. It was so unexpected and Julian was a mystery and somehow I let him hold me and I let myself feel safe for a while.

‘I have to go.’ I told him, but he didn’t let go. Instead he held on tighter.

‘I cannot lose you Ava. We will figure this out.’

‘There is nothing to figure out. I no longer exist.’ I tried to touch him, but my hand went through his cheek. It seems that he is able to touch me, but I am unable to do the same, all the more reason to leave.  He took me by the shoulders and I could see a tear rolling down his cheek.

‘I’m sorry’ he whispered into my ear before he threw me back inside my body.

I woke up in a bed. I was no longer in the church. I was back in Julian’s home. I could feel all my physical injuries, but I didn’t complain. Somehow Julian had managed to put my body and soul back together.

The first thing I do is call out to Julian. He is by my side in an instant.

‘I am here. How are you feeling?’ he holds onto one of my hands and stare into my eyes. That’s what I like about him. He is so open and full of concern. One look into those blue eyes and it feels like he is letting me touch his soul. I smile at him and for the first time I feel his love for me radiating through his stare.

I gasped out loud and he runs a nervous gaze down my body. ‘What is it? Is something wrong?’

He inspects all of my wounds and I turn bright red in my face. This is not the time to be blushing.

‘I am fine.’ I managed to say and I pull his hands into mine. He relaxes and runs his hand through my hair.

‘Thank you for saving me.’ I say to him and I give him a small kiss on his hand. He smiles at me and I realize that I am falling for him. No matter how he has treated me or how many times I have doubted him, I have been falling for him since the first time I saw him. I smile to myself and hold onto my chest with one of my hands. I didn’t know what to do. Isn’t it against the law to fall in love with your teacher? What will happen to Julian if the others angels found out? I may lose him forever if I don’t handle this right so I decide to keep my feelings to myself for now.

I could not walk yet so Julian was taking care of all my needs. Cooking me meals, helping me to the bathroom and he sponged bathed me since I didn’t have the energy to climb into a tub. He was very caring and everyday my love grew stronger for him.

‘Why don’t you go out for a while?’ I commented one evening. He looked surprised by my question.

‘Why?’

‘You have been watching over me for so long. You could use a break.’ I replied.

‘I would rather spend some more time with you.’ he replied and I felt my heart beating out of my chest again. I was trying so hard to keep my emotions tucked away. The last thing I needed was another complication.

After two weeks of bed rest Julian decided that I was ready to walk on my own again. My bones were still healing, but I felt pretty confident. ‘Ready?’ he asked me and I nodded. He was only a few feet away and he promised that he would catch me if I fell. I healed pretty fast. All of my bruises and cuts were gone, even my broken bones were as good as new.

I got up from bed and took my first step and my knees gave out underneath me. Before I reached the ground Julian was under me. I fell on his lap and he held me to him. We both started laughing uncontrollably. That was not graceful at all. Something in the air seemed to change when Julian tucked my hair behind my ear. I stopped laughing and stared into his eyes. I was watching every move he made. I wanted him to kiss me, to be intimate with this wonderful man. I silenced my thoughts and tried to look away.

‘Ava’ he whispered and when I looked back at him he kissed me. It was a soft kiss, but it made me feel like flying.

I couldn’t allow this to happen. He was my teacher and guardian angel for crying out loud, but it felt so right to be touched by him and he took my breath away with his kisses.

What am I suppose to do now?