Somewhere Quiet

Lying flat on my bed in the dark, rewinding the exact moment I had to walk past him at last night’s vigil made me curl up into a ball and clutch my feet under the blanket. God. I feel like I'm such a complete fool. You can call me delusional, but there is something about this guy I just can’t pinpoint. I’ve liked him for what feels like forever. He is literally my first real crush, the benchmark against which every other boy in the world would fail miserably trying to get my attention. All he has to do is look in my general direction, and my heart starts doing an unprompted 100-mile-an-hour sprint inside my chest. Whenever his dark, graceful eyes catch mine, my brain completely short-circuits. I get way too shy to hold his gaze, so I automatically snap my head down and stare at my shoes like they hold the secrets to the universe. Walking down the church staircase near my forever crush last night made me realize something painful: that being in love or whatever this absurd, heart-pounding sensation is , ...can be the absolute most ridiculous thing ever. Every single time I see him cross the football pitch after fellowship, or laugh casually with his friends, my mind goes blank. What can I say? He’s so hot. But of course, I only ever have the courage to murmur that inside the safety of my own head. And so, my life has become a series of careful, tactical operations: take a quick glimpse from afar, pray to God nobody notices, and retreat into the background. As the shy, innocent, quiet girl that I am, showing interest in the star boy from the choir’s band feels like a suicide mission. He is probably on the mind of every single female youth member in our assembly. Allow me to defend my shyness for a second—trust me, I have very valid reasons! Foremost, I was mad terrified that if I walked up to him, he would turn me down on my very first attempt. Secondly, he basically has all the girls on his plate—well, not literally, but you get what I mean, right?? Wherever he goes, a trail of giggling girls and sudden choir volunteers follows. Thirdly, he is the definition of "too good to be true." He isn't just talented; he moves through life with an effortless, humble kindness that makes it impossible to find a single flaw in him. While most guys in the youth department brag about their positions or try way too hard to get noticed, Elijah just exists with a calm, quiet confidence. He’s the first to stay behind to help pack up heavy sound equipment, the one who patiently teaches the youngest kids how to hold a guitar pick, and the guy who remembers everyone’s name after a single meeting. He never uses his talent or popularity as leverage. It’s infuriating, honestly. If he were a little arrogant, or at least slightly full of himself, I could convince my heart to dial back the obsession. But he’s genuine, soft-spoken, and infuriatingly sweet to everyone he meets, which only makes my hopeless little crush ten times worse. Fun fact about the family he comes from is that he is one of four ridiculously tall, handsome brothers. They walk into church together like some kind of high-fashion dynasty. But he is the one who completely holds my world hostage. A 6'1", dark-skinned, with a slow smile and a singing voice that could bring down angels, I just can’t stop thinking about him. And lastly? I’m terrified of being perceived as just another fan in his crowd. A total coward, right? Yeah... I know. A sharp buzz on my nightstand shattered the quiet of my room, making me jump half an inch off the mattress. I reached out from beneath my blanket fortress and grabbed my phone. The screen illuminated my face in the dark, displaying a fresh text from my best friend, Joy. Joy was the absolute opposite of me in every way that mattered—loud, fiercely protective, and completely incapable of keeping her mouth shut when she sensed tea. We had been inseparable since primary school, back when I was the quiet girl who dropped her lunchbox and Joy was the girl who threatened to fight anyone who laughed. She was the only person in the entire world who knew the full, unvarnished truth about my embarrassing crush on Elijah. She knew about the secret color-coded spreadsheets I kept for youth events, the way I memorized his choir schedule, and the fact that I had once spent forty-five minutes re-organizing the media desk just to watch him practice his solos from across the hall. Joy was my human anchor, the one who constantly pushed me to step out from behind my invisible shell, even when I resisted with every bone in my body. Knowing her, she had probably been monitoring the church group chat like a hawk, waiting for the exact right moment to launch a barrage of messages. Joy: GIRL!! Are you awake?? Tell me you saw the new announcement on the youth w******p group! I blinked, rubbing my eyes as I tapped open the group chat. My thumb scrolled past twenty unread messages until I reached the pinned image sent by the Youth Executive Leader ten minutes ago. [YOUTH FELLOWSHIP SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT] Preparations for the Annual Regional Youth Convention begin this Saturday! All active department members must report for setup at 8:00 AM sharp. SPECIAL NOTE: Due to logistics, the Choir Department and the Media/Logistics Team will be paired together for venue setup and song sheet coordination. My breath hitched in my throat. I was the head volunteer for the Media and Logistics desk. Which meant... I was going to be forced to work directly alongside the choir. Before I could even process the sudden wave of nausea and adrenaline hitting my stomach, my screen flashed with an incoming message from an unsaved number. Unknown: Hey. It’s Elijah from the choir band. Sister Grace gave me your number. She said you’re leading logistics for Saturday’s setup? We need to go over the roster before tomorrow morning. Let me know when you’re free to talk. I stared at the screen, my heart slamming against my ribs so hard I thought it would wake up the entire house. Elijah. He had my number. He had just texted me. And Saturday morning was less than thirty-six hours away.