Six months to forever

Alicia’s POV I should have known something was wrong when the street lights started spinning. For a moment I stood there, trying to get myself and randomly staring at objects around.The world felt strange.Too loud, Too bright, too fast. I started walking again but it felt like I couldn't control my own legs anymore.The streets seemed to be moving beneath me.A car passed, its headlights flashed on my face, forcing me to close my eyes shut. When I opened them again everything looked blurry, Something felt wrong. I reached out for a nearby wall, hoping to keep my balance, My hands barely got close before my knees went weak. “Miss” Someone’s voice came from behind me. I tried turning around. “Im fine” I could barely hear myself as I whispered those words. A second voice sounded closer. “Are you okay?” I nodded even though I wasn't. “I just need a minute.” I tried straightening up, My vision darkened a bit, someone else told me to sit down, But I couldn’t, my legs didn’t cooperate. My bags slipped from my shoulder down to the floor, I tried reaching out to it, I missed it, Then the ground rushed towards me. “Catch her.” “Call the ambulance.” My head hit the floor. For a moment I was still Aware, Footsteps got louder, Panic rising. “She's not responding!.” I tried to speak, I tried to tell them I'm ok. But I couldn’t, nothing came. At that point one thought crossed my mind. What if I don’t wake up? 2 months earlier….. I sat beside my grandmother's bed, watching the rise and fall of her chest. The hospital smelled like antiseptic and fear, but for some reason it didn’t bother me as much as it did before, I had gotten used to it. I usually couldn’t stand the smell of the hospital,but now,I could identify the different smell before I even reached my grandmother's ward, Medicine, Coffee from the nurses station, Detergents. Underneath all those scents was a little touch of vomit. I stared at my grandmother as she took slow,steady and fragile breaths. Too fragile. “You’re staring again.” Her voice was weak, but there was enough strength in it to make me smile. I looked at the roof with a sly smile on my face. “Im not smiling.” “You are.” “I'm thinking.” “About me?” “Unfortunately.” A tiny smile appeared on her face, the smile was worth everything to me. I reached out to grab her hands, they felt smaller than usual. My grandmother had always looked so strong to me while growing up. When I was six and fell off my bicycle, she was the one who picked me up, cleaned me and attended to my injured knee. When I was eleven and I came home crying from school because someone bullied me, she made hot chocolate for me and told me that people who tried to make others feel small are actually afraid of being small themselves. When my parents died, she became the person who held my entire world together. She was my grandmother, my home, My guardian, My family, My everything. And now she was laying in a hospital bed while I pretended not to be scared. “How long have you been here?” She asked “Not long.” She raised an eyebrow. “You are bad at lying,Alicia.” I laughed. “I learned from the best.” She squeezed my hand slightly, For a moment neither of us spoke a word. Then her expression changed. “Alicia” “Yes?” “Don’t spend everything you have on me” I looked away. On a small table beside her bed were the latest hospital bills, I hadn’t opened it, I didn’t have to, I already knew it was more than I could afford, my parents were gone, I had no siblings, No aunt or uncle who could appear from nowhere with a lot of money to help, It was just me. “You need to focus on your life too” she whispered “My life is right here” She sighed. “You’re twenty four” “And you’re sick” “That doesn’t mean you should stop living” I looked at her. “You raised me” Her heart softened. “So?” “So I'm not leaving you” She stared at me for a while with a smile on her lips, Then she reached out to pull my cheeks. “Stubborn girl” She closed her eyes. “Get some rest” “I will” “That’s another lie” I laughed quietly, maybe if I laughed more, I could convince myself everything would be ok, maybe if I smiled more things could be better, but It didn’t. Later that evening I stepped out of the room for a little fresh air and pulled out my phone from my pocket. Three missed calls. One message from the hospital's billing system, I opened it. My mouth dropped, The amount on the screen made the hairs on my body stand, I stared at it for several seconds, Then locked my phone. I couldn’t cry. At least not yet, I couldn’t accept falling and giving up, My grandmother needs me, so I wiped my eyes,straightened my back and made a promise to myself, I would find the money.I don’t care how, I would save her, Because she was the only person I had left, And I couldn’t loose her too .