JUST FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND FOREVER

Paris is beautiful this time of the year, was what my mind told me. I had resigned from my job, and even broken up with my fiance of five years. Being cheated on was one of the things I didn't think would ever happen to me, but seeing Richard in bed with one of our coworkers made me want to escape reality. “Hi,” I greeted the airport attendant. She looked up with a beautiful smile on her face and responded with a hi of her own. “So, I'm thinking of trying something new, I mean somewhere new, what do you suggest?” I asked her with a smile. “Something… somewhere new?” She asked me. “Yes, a place to escape reality, you know? I've heard Paris is beautiful this time of the year. So, what do you think?” I asked her. “Um, I don't think I understand you. You are hoping to leave New Jersey but you don't know where to go and you want my opinion on where to go?” She asked, confused. “Yes, please,” I replied. “Why? Who are you running from?” She asked me. “Well, do you want a long or short story?" I didn't wait for her to reply before I spewed all my dirty secrets. She listened attentively like she had nothing to do. I wouldn't blame her, I was at the airport before the rush hour and I still was yet to book my flight. She waited a bit before saying, "you definitely should get out here, maybe live for yourself and answer to yourself alone. What do you think?" She asked me. It was then I noticed the flood of people rushing in, she turned to look at me with a smile and went to the line of people in front of her. I watch as the attendant helps the other passengers with her words still echoing in my mind. "Live for yourself and answer to yourself alone." It's a simple phrase, but it resonates deeply. I realise that I've been living my life according to others' expectations for too long. It's time for a change. I may have gotten my job because of how good I was, but I still didn't do it like I wanted to and that was going to change. I didn't think twice before I went back to the attendant and joined the line of people waiting. “Oh, it's you again,” she said again when it was my turn. “Yes,” I smiled at her and “one way ticket to Paris please,” I said to her still smiling. She looked at me and nodded her approval. The flight to Paris is a blur of excitement and nerves. I can't believe I'm actually doing this – starting fresh in a new city, alone. But as the plane lands and I step out into the crisp French air, I know that I've made the right decision. I, however, did not imagine I would be pregnant with twins and that also took a toll on me. Although Paris was everything I dreamed it would be – beautiful, charming, and full of life. I spent my days nurturing my babies, exploring the city, soaking up the culture, and learning to navigate the metro. One day, while sipping coffee at a charming café with my three year olds, I met a beautiful stranger named Cara. We strike up a conversation, and I find myself opening up to her in ways I never thought possible. We became friends. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months, months into years and before I knew it, I had stayed in Paris for five years. My twins were grown ups now, and I was more than grateful for the gift of them and Cara until that fateful day. “Hey, Charlie, I think you have mail,” Cara called out to me when she got home. To say I was surprised was the least. No one knew I was in Paris then how…? I wondered to myself. “Oh, really? Thanks.” I replied to her and collected the mail only to drop it on the table. “You won't open it?” She asked me. I didn't see the need to open it, I wasn't expecting anything from anyone and I knew if I said something, Cara was going to do anything and everything in her power to make me change my mind. I didn't get to talk before she already took a table knife and tore through the mail. “No, why would you do that?!” I screamed. “I'm helping you, trust me, you will thank me later,” she said, revealing the contents of the mail. I pretended to not care about the contents of the mail, but even wanted to know who remembered me after all these years had passed. Maybe it is from my mom, I did tell her I was here chasing my dreams but what I did not tell her was the twin girls I managed to give birth to. “It’s from you mom, babe,” I heard Cara’s voice say, snapping me out of my thoughts. She came closer to where I stood and handed me the letter. With teary eyes, I read the contents of the letter and I broke down into tears. I haven't been in contact with my mom for a long time. When Richard broke my heart, I abandoned everyone and everything I knew. I closed myself off and focused on raising my twins. I didn't even tell my mom or dad about the pregnancy and that only broke my heart more seeing the letter. “I'm a bad daughter, Cara.” I said to her with tears still falling from my eyes. “No, no, you are not Charlie. You've been through a lot, the break up, quitting your job and even raising two kids on your own. It is a lot, your mom will understand, she has to.” she said consoling me. “Now, what exactly did it say?” she asked, pointing towards the letter that hung in my hands. “She wants me home for the holidays. She said it's been a while and I should at least see cme home." I replied. “Well, it's about time you went home, don't you think?” she said . And that question alone kept me up all night.