Monsters and Dolls'

Dazzling Drams of a Doll.

Getting home I toss my bag and jacket on the couch, walking to the bathroom I stare at my tiered reflection, I just want to sleep but I need to wash my make up off, wetting my face I begin scrubbing in my make-up remover, I watch as half my face turns red and splotchy while the other half looks flawless and how I always want to look.

Lucky for me I do have nice skin nearly flawless with a few freckles across the bridge of my nose and cheeks, my skin is a nice sun kissed colour that becomes red and blotchy when scrubbed or if I’m embarrassed.

Rinsing and dabbing my face dry with a face towel I look to my emerald eyes, I love my eyes I love eyes in general, they are windows to the soul after all its such a romantic thing to think about.

With my face dried I begin taking the few bobby pins out of my hair, my work demands we have our hair up, and they request it be parted in two like pigtails, juvenile yes, but management says it’s what the customers want, I don’t want to encourage the look so I wear my hair parted in two buns on top of my head, no one has said anything about it so I’ll continue to wear it this way until I’m told I can’t.

I run my fingers though my hair and massage my scalp, I prefer my hair down, I have long hair and twisting it up like that everyday makes my head feel funny, I brush my dirty blonde hair before leaving the bathroom, to my bedroom/ living room where I rip my ugly uniform off, my uniform consist of a green tank top no one looks good in with an orange and black vest, with a choice of black skirt of shorts, both of which are too short, I like to wear my shorts under my skirt just to be sure no one sees my ass.

My uniform is tied together with the mandatory visor and black choker with non slip black shoes, the one nice thing is my uniform came free, I don’t know what I would do if I had to buy this uniform I don’t think I could bring myself to it, though the alternative is to be broke and living on the streets, at least working at Mckindlies  I have some say in how my body is used. This is the reality that I live in, I don’t want to keep living this life at McKindlies, but this is what I have to do.

 This world revolves around class and wealth I can’t compete, I make just enough to pay for this shoe box apartment and an allowance I send to my family in the mountains, most of my food are the leftovers from McKindlies when I work a graveyard shift, those are the worst shifts and I’m getting them more and more, the only positive about graveyard shift is customers can’t buy the girls, unfortunately not all the customer’s understand that or agree is policy.

I lay in bed staring up at my ceiling, I roll over looking out the long window beside my bed, I’m on the 9th floor of a shitty apartment at the edge of the downtown core I’ve never been worried of people looking in, why would anyone want to look at this piece of s**t tower, curtains work for during the day but at night, I just want to look out over the core. Dazzling lights or the core mesmerise me, it’s a nice sight almost calming, I do find it scary at times it makes me realize just how small I am, it’s a sinking feeling I get lost in occasionally.

When that feeling crawls into my stomach I think of the people that matter most to me in my life and I feel at ease, the sinking feelings turn to a fierier passion for becoming a manager, the position offers more money and a stable job that’s guaranteed a two-year commitment by the company.

Determined for this promotion to help me financially and my loved ones I allow sleep to consume me.