Flowering Dreams

Friends

Jordan was sitting on the edge of the fountain that sat in the middle of campus. The wind was a bit more brisk than I had expected it to be. I wrapped the light cardigan I had grabbed around me, holding it tight to my sides. His face lit up when he saw me walking towards him.

"Hey, Mills. What's up?" He smiled at me with a curious face. "Where have you been all day?"

"I went to my dorm and fell asleep. I was too tired to do anything else." I said.

"So what is it you needed to talk to me about? You sounded pretty serious on the phone."

"I wanted to know what that was this morning at the coffee shop? What was with you barging into our conversation and talking like you did? You were so defensive towards Dillan, why?" Saying his name sent a shiver down my spine. The sound of it made my whole body buzz with delight.

"I wasn't defensive, all I did was state my opinion. Both to him, and you. I meant what I said you know." He looked into my eyes just as has he had this morning.

"And I meant what I said. Both this morning and yesterday. I believe with all of my heart that there is someone out there that will be the one. Love at first sight. Just like all the books I read. I don't want to start something that won't last. Especially if I find my true love and break the other person's heart in the process. I don't want to do that. It doesn't matter what I feel for him or you, because I didn't feel 'it'."

"Let's say for your sake that true love at first sight is real. What happens if you never find that person? What if you go your entire life without ever feeling one shred of love, because you've put your entire life on hold for someone who might not even be out there!" His voice got harsh towards the end.

"Jordan.." I watched him cringe at my voice saying his name. I spoke softer. "I know it's hard for you to understand, but I feel very strongly about this."

He stood from the fountain and walked closer to me. "Even if there is a Mr. Right for you out there, you can't deny that we have something between us."

"Jordan I.." He cut me off before I could find the words. I didn't know what to say, or what I was even feeling.

"Talking to you these last two day has been the happiest I've felt in a long time. I'm not going to pursue you, simply because you asked me not too. But I will be here if you ever change your mind about us. All I want is to see you happy."

His words were so sweet and sincere, I didn't know what to do. I was just standing there with my mouth slightly gapping unable to make a sound or even move.

"I do want to give you something though. It's just to help you think better." He leaned in closer to me. Our faces were merely inches away as he looked into my eyes. It was like he was looking for an answer to a question, and I could smell his breath. I knew he was always popping something in his mouth throughout the day.. Peppermint..?

Before I even realized what was happening, he kissed me. The second his lips touched mine I felt the most wonderful euphoria slowly wash over me as my eyes fluttered closed. His lips were soft and smooth, and I was right about the Peppermint. My mouth was suddenly moving with his in perfect synchronization, as if we had done this over a thousand times.

His hands slowly cuped my face and ran through my hair. I felt my body curl up towards him just as he pulled away. We were both out of breath and I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. He then stepped back, and turned to face the fountain.

"My theory is that we don't fall in love from seeing someone for the first time. We get to know them, their personality, then it's not up to us if we fall or not. We can't truly know if it's real if we don't ever explore the option in the first place." He turned back around to face me once more.

"From this point forward I will be nothing but a great friend to you, Millie. I won't kiss you again unless you ask me too. I will never tell you that what you believe in is wrong, but I hope that you don't wait forever. If you find the one you're looking for, I will be your biggest supporter. If you don't, I will still be here. Even if it's just to be your friend."

There was a smile on his lips, but his eyes held a small tinge of sadness underneath. He already knew my answer to that. Yet he was still hopeful. Why? What was the point in putting so much effort into something he knew I would never truly want?

"Why can't you let it go!?" I was angry now. As I spoke I walked up and got right in his face. I tried, but the friendship was only going to hurt him in the end because of his own stubborn stupidity. "Just give it up already! I will never want to be with you, Jordan!"

Silence. We stood face to face glaring at each other for a moment before he spoke. His words were suddenly so quiet and gentle. "I will drop it, and never even mention it again. But only if you can honestly tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed."

I gulped hard as he stared straight through me. I couldn't honestly tell him that I didn't feel anything, because I did. Ever since I met him I realized I had been burying the feelings that were growing inside me. If I acknowledged them, they become real. I couldn't risk hurting him. So I lied.