Who Am I?

Chapter 1 Yana is the name and I am really a good person, kind, honest and smart-- that's what they thought. However, I'm not really that type of person. I am the type of person who loves to overthink things, to act like everythings is not a big deal, and keep making mistakes for I know I could change later. I've became dependable on that blessing that I've received--which is the agency, or the "freedom to choose" between right or wrong. However, the life that I am living feels empty and there's something missing. I kept ignoring it for I thought I am just overthinking, not knowing that the moment I made those mistakes, I'll regret it in this life and it will literally destroy me. There's a moment that I console myself, saying, " it's okay, I've changed and I've repented sincerely" however, is that really the right process? Is it really enough? there's missing..... what is it? I kept searching for an answer for that missing feeling-- or perhaps I am searching for something that could console me and an evidence that tells that I am doing great, I'm in a right track. However, it's all in vain. To be honest, I know the answer and that missing feeling that I'm saying..... It's the confession. Confession of your sins, admitting that you are wrong and made a mistake. I've never realised how important that missing feeling is. I've ignored it because I'm scared, and embarassed to tell the truth to someone who has the key and power to help me. To the question, what am I searching for? It's my rest, freedom and great joy. You may think, what's the connection of it in the story that I am telling about my mistakes, empty feeling, and regrets. There's a big connection and an important one. I'm striving to change and be fully repented because I want to feel that I'm forgiven---- and those things like rest, freedom, and great joy is the sign that I am forgiven. It's a blessing. That joy is so sweet and it literally makes you feel that you are worthy and clean. In this life we have different opinions, belief, type of success, answer for everything and we have a different life. But you know what is our connection and in common? ....... We have the same Father in Heaven and same Savior. Who is that Father in Heaven and Savior that I am talking about?.. I'll tell you in the next chapter....