IF NOT LOVE, WHATELSE?

Staring out of the window, lost in deep thoughts, I fought back the tears threatening to spill. The last thing I wanted to show now was “weakness.” Not here. Not now. I couldn’t afford to break down, not when I’d finally gotten the freedom I had always wanted. I let out a deep sigh and dragged my eyes away from the glass, pulling myself back into reality. Right in front of me sat two sack bags stuffed with the clothes I owned, waited at my feet. I gave the room one last lingering look, letting my gaze linger on the walls that had witnessed years of pain I’d been too young to escape from. Then i turned away, stepping towards the door and with a confused heart, I shut the door behind me, leaving behind all the pain and trauma that had chained me for years. “Camellia! Camellia!” my little sister’s voice echoed from somewhere behind as I made my way toward the front desk. “Hello, Miss Camellia. We’re so glad you’re finally free. I hope you’ll stay away from trouble this time,” one of the female officers said kindly, sliding some papers toward me with a smile. I picked up the pen and signed without a word. My mind was too clouded, replaying everything I’d gone through. All the moments I didn’t want to relive. And the only thought that had kept me moving forward was a single fragile word; freedom. Ignoring my sister’s whole existence and Stepping through the gate, the cool city breeze brushed against my skin. I whispered it aloud, almost bitterly. “Freedom.” The word felt foreign. Sweet, yet sharp, like a memory you’re afraid to touch. I tightened my grip on my bags, wary that somehow, someone could snatch it all back. I wandered without direction, letting my feet guide me. but one thing I knew for sure; I wasn’t going back home. Not after the years of neglect. My body ached with tiredness. I needed somewhere to rest. I scanned around until my eyes caught a weathered bench across the road. Just as I quickened my steps to cross, a soft whimper stopped me. A young boy was struggling to get back on his feet, pain etched across his small frame . An angry-looking woman stormed up to him. “Eric! Come here, you little brat!” she yelled. The name froze me on the spot and gave me a sharp stab at the back. Eric? . My whole world tilted, and memories came rushing in… his smile, his touch, his voice, and finally… his death. “Cami, I love you so much… so much that it Might cause me more harm, but I still can’t let go…. I’m scared Cami,” His voice echoed in my head, the last conversation we had replaying like a cruel reminder. That night in his apartment, with his head resting on my thighs, I had told him, “ I love you too, Eric. You know that right?” “ I know,” he whispered, “ that’s why I’m ready to give up my life for you.” “Don’t say that,” I’d warned him. But he just smiled. “I’m not scared of dying for you. I’m only scared of living in a world without you.” “Silly boy,” I’d giggle then. Unable to fathom the depth of his devotion. We had spent that whole day together…. cooking, laughing, playing games, watching movies, just the two of us. It had been perfect… until his sudden breakup text the next morning. No explanation. Nothing. And then… his death… Leaving me branded as the prime suspect. How? Why? How could life be so cruel? The blaring horn of a car and the screams of onlookers ripped me out of my thoughts. My eyes snapped to the speeding car heading straight for me. My heart stopped. It was too close, and there was nothing I could do. I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for the end. “Maybe this is my fate after all,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. But then… a hand gripped my shoulder, yanking me back with such force that we both tumbled to the other side of the road. He hit the ground hard, and I landed on top of him. A painful grunt escaped his lips as the crowd gasped around us. “That was close.” “She’s lucky. The guy saved her life.” Whispers rippled through the people watching. I scrambled to my feet, heart hammering, giving him space to stand. And then…. he did. A figure stood before me, his eyes locking onto mine. “Camellia…” he whispered. My name rolled off his lips, soft and broken. A shiver crawled down my spine.Something about him, something in his eyes… familiarity I couldn’t place. My chest tightened as tears clouded my eyes. Was my head playing tricks on me? Why did he look so familiar? “Y-you…” I stuttered. “Cami…” he called again, softly, almost broken. My head spun. My heart raced. And then… everything went blank.