ARABIC ANECDOTES OF MISERS

ARABIC ANECDOTES OF MISERS Mostafa Chakib Copyright © 2024 Mostafa Chakib All rights reserved Table of contents 1. The avarice of the inhabitants of a village 2. Eating sheep heads! 3. Talking to coins! 4. No greeting to anybody! 5. Inheriting customs 6. “ Swear! You don't want to eat anymore!” 7. All misers! 8. Entirely misers! 9. I don't know absolutely who are you! 10. Uninvited guest! 11. Between the great linguist Abu Al-Aswad Al-Du-Ali and a nomad 12. Between the great linguist Abu Al-Aswad Al-Du-Ali and a nomad 13. Between Al-Hajjaj and an old nomad. 14. Close the door! And bring to eat! 15. A miser who didn't eat till midnight! 16. I am embarrassed; I eat! 17. Achaab the greedy! In the Arabic context known by generosity, which was a prized and appreciated quality, stories of the Arabs criticize, with a light irony, avarice. Arabic storytellers, in Stories of misers, aim for leisure and dream, putting forward features of an amusing personality, without offending or stigmatizing. However, on the contrary, these misers enjoy rather empathy and pity, the ultimate aim is the amusement of the reader while preserving the status of the miser. One of the greatest authors of the first centuries of the Arab- Islamic which dedicated an important book to misers entitled (the misers) is Al-Jahiz (776-869), who gives a positive image of the miser; the author wounds this personality by no means, making fun slightly on it, inviting the other-reader to laugh creating joy and pleasure. One of the specificities of the Arab Anecdote, is a relation of spontaneity, without psychoanalysis of the person, a lenient text reflecting the desire to let all take part in pleasure and humor. The avarice is indeed a nonacceptable quality, but the great author comically describes this quality, to sympathize with the personality, inviting it to correct his behavior and to come back to the group. Arab anecdotes of misers were popular among people, and were an amusing subject of writers, especially when anecdote joins together the personality of the miser and that of the greedy one; the scene becomes a conflict between the two; while one declines, the other wishes, creating situations causing rapture and laughter. It's an Arab literary kind which had its place beside the other kinds, poetry, speeches, and letters… and had its great authors on avarice and misers since Al-Asmaï, Ibn Qutayba, Al-Jahiz, Abu Hayyan Al-Tawhidi, and many others. We will find in this collection of 'Anecdotes of the misers', from an important book, or rather a rich encyclopedia of the Arab-Islamic heritage of stories and accounts of the Islamic era, itself having inspired by the old works-sources of the great authors referred to above. 1. The avarice of the inhabitants of a village One said of a village that was famous for avarice, its inhabitants were the most misers; they didn't like guests and never invited them. When their governor knew this quality, he established immediately that they must take care of guests; it ordered that each man put a pole in the mosque of the village and said to them: “Every guest who arrives and suspends its dress or its whip on one of the poles, then it is to the owner of the pole to take care of the guest! ’’ Among them, was the most miser man, he decided to place badly its pole in the furthest corner of the mosque to divert attention to make fall anything that would be suspended there. One day, a guest arrived and entered the mosque. While seeking among poles, he watched the extreme pole in question (thinking that it undoubtedly belongs to the most miser) and suspended its turban there while tightening firmly to immobilize it. The owner of the pole was spying until the choice fell: “It's me who will take care of the guest!” self-talking sadly! He returned to his wife, depressed; she said to him: “What's wrong?” He said: “The disaster occurred! The guest came and insisted on choosing my pole, damned! What a hateful man! Among all the very expressed poles, it is mine that he chooses! What a chance!” The woman said: “We can do nothing, I have to be patient and pray for help from Allah !” She comforted him! His daughters and neighbors met to express their condolences for this economic tragedy! The guest's issue was serious, considering that every home must demonstrate generosity and hospitality, he killed a ewe, cooked chickens, and filled bowls of bouillons and meats. The moment had arrived, the guest appeared! His wife, his daughters, and neighbors spying through the slits of the doors by shouting “Oh! The guest arrives !”. Once installed, he started to eat, he took just a piece of meat and bread, then dried his hands praised God, and said “Raise the table! May God bless you!” The host said: “Finish your dinner! We were prepared very well for you.” He answered: “No, it's enough!” The host: “That's all you're eating? No more?” The guest: “Yes, it's all!” The host: “I thought that you would eat all and ask more!” Since then, the host began to invite every guest who arrived in the village. 2. Eating sheepheads! A great miser was an admirer of sheep heads, praised and keep citing them. He never ate meat, except small parts, or in the sacrificial feast of the sheep, or at an invitation or travel. He called the head “a wedding party”; because it gathers all the kinds, sometimes he called it also the unit or the integral! He always said: “The head is one thing having many parts and various tastes. While the other unified dishes constitute a unique thing, the head — though it is a cocktail — is a unique entity”. It contains a brain, which has an extraordinary taste! Eyes have their very special taste. The lobe of the ear has an extra taste! Better than brain, fattier than butter. There is also tongue, what a super taste! We can consider that the head is the Master of the body; the brain lives there; the center of reason; the nerves leave from there and are distributed in all the body; reason is well protected in this head! He bought only a quite fresh head, for its abundant brain! He bought it only on Saturday, this particular day; because on Friday one killed sheep, heads become abundant on Saturday and thus less expensive! 3. Talking to coins! The story goes that a man reached a great degree of avarice and became an uncontested master miser, so much so that he communicated with coins, protected and preserved them for a long time. One day, he had a coin in his hands, he said to it: 'How many grounds did you traverse? How many bags did you leave? So many modest men you raised and so noble ones you degraded! But with me, you are in peace, sleep well my baby! You will never see either night or day! Then he threw it in its bag and said to him: 'Rest in the name of God in a place where no one will insult you or disturb you! ’’ The miser had never let any obtained coin go out, no matter what his family insisted on buying something! They had to suffer in life with him so much so that they wished for his death! But after he had died, the family believed that they would go to enjoy life. It's the son who seized his money and his house. He met with them and said: “What did my father eat with bread? ” they said: cheese! He said: 'Show me! ’’ He then saw a groove like a stream, footsteps of bread! He said: “What's this? ’’ They said: ” He didn't dip cheese, he wiped its back while digging as you see! ’’ The son: “That one killed me! That's why we haven't accumulated anything! If I had known, I would never have prayed for him! ’’ They said: ” What will you do to? ’’ The son: 'I put it (cheese) far from me, I beckon wiping it! ’’ 4. No greeting to anybody! An old man ate in a place, a man passed and greeted it, he greeted him too and said: “Come! You are welcome!” But when he saw the man turning back to accept his invitation, he said to him: “Stop! No harry! It is not the Souk!” The man stopped, the old man asked him: “What do you want?” The man: “I would like to have lunch!” The old man: “Why? Who invited you to eat with me?” The man: “Didn't you invite me?” The old man: 'Lord! If I had believed that you are a so i***t I would never have greeted you. If I said to you: “come to eat” You would have to say: “no thank you, good appetite!” A word in exchange for a word and not a word in exchange for an action and words in exchange for food! It is by no means right! The man remained inert and amazed! The old man gained this reputation, one said to him: “We are exonerated from greeting and return of greeting”. The old man said: 'No need for that, the important is that I cease inviting people, but it is done by accident! 5. Inheriting customs A man lost his way in the desert. He saw a tent, and moved to it; he found a nomad woman who said to him: “Who are you?” The man answered: “I am a guest” He said: « You are welcome! » She offered him to eat and drink (water or milk). Meanwhile, her husband arrived and said: “who is the man?” She said: “A guest!” He said: “He is not welcome! We don't want guests” The guest rode his horse and left very quickly. The following day, he saw another tent and moved there. A nomad woman received him and said: “you are not welcome! We don't want guests” But her husband had just arrived and said: “Who is the man?” She said: “A guest!” He said: “You are welcome!” He offered him to drink and good food. The guest remembered the preceding incident and smiled. The host asked him: “Why do you smile brother? » The guest told him what had occurred with the generous nomad and her miser husband. The host smiles too and said to him: “No mystery! This woman is my sister, her husband is the brother of my wife, this miser one! Each one inherited temperament and customs !”.