Akrasia (bxb)

Chapter Three

The school week came and went, and David didn't hear another thing from Brian. He saw him at school the next day, but the boy wouldn't even look in David's direction. He'd cower like a scared puppy with its tail between its legs. David could even recall Brooke muttering that's what you get for being an ass under her breath whenever that happened.

And Rebecca, the same girl whose man he was trying to get into bed with, had actually came up to him in A.P. History and thanked him. Apparently, Marcus used to be a close friend to her or some s**t, and having someone stand up for him when she didn't had been heart warming.

And if that didn't make him feel like s**t in two seconds, he didn't know what did. He liked it better when she was just labeled stupid b***h in his head.

He was beginning to feel kind of guilty about it all, about his plans to get with her man. He'd even contemplated going a different route, like the jock guy named Cory, who always liked to joke and stare a little too long when David laughed at them.

Honestly, it probably would have been easy.

But as he'd lock eyes with Michael's from across the cafeteria, he knew that wasn't what he wanted yet. He needed to get that boy out of his system first. And if he happened to say no, then David would be okay with that. He had to be. He'd find a hookup elsewhere.

He really wanted it to be Michael though. He didn't understand why. It was stupid if he was being honest. It was like some romantic movie bullshit. Every time Michael looked at him or even just gave him a casual touch, it felt like his heart was going to jump from his throat and it didn't make any sense.

David had been attracted to other dudes before. And those dudes had been attracted to him. They'd hook up, never more than once, and go on their merry way. And David never thought twice about it.

Maybe it was just because Michael had a girlfriend. The added challenge to it was probably making the concept more exciting than it really was.

David didn't really know. He told himself he didn't care about the reasons as he looked himself over his full body mirror, Kickstart my Heart by Mötley Crüe playing through his record player. His jeans hugged his ass just right, and his shirt was unbuttoned enough to show off his chest and the silver cross on his sternum.

He felt good.

He didn't know if it was from the music or just the adrenaline, but he felt great. He couldn't wait to get back into another party so he could get absolutely trashed and hopefully get some action.

The only thing that dampened his mood was the banging at his door. "Open your door! I've told you countless times not to lock it, boy." William's voice was muffled but David could hear it clear as day. He moved quickly to turn off the record player and unlock his door.

He was greeted with his father's scowl. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" His nose scrunched up as he asked, like something smelled off. "I told you to stop smoking in your room, David. And answer the damn question."

David took in a deep breath. He had to choose his words carefully. He had to make sure he didn't say things with an attitude, or even with a hint of an attitude. And he couldn't lie, either. William would see through that s**t.

"I'm going to a party, dad. I won't be out too late." He said as he pocketed his wallet and keys. His father looked him over, a look of disgust etched to his features that David was used to.

"Sure, okay. I need you up in the morning so we can go to church. No excuses, you got it?" There was a warning there in his brown eyes, and the man reeked of beer. David could tell he wanted him to step out of line, to give him a reason to beat him.

David knew better though.

"Yes, sir." He answered automatically. Finally, his father moved out of the way. David figured he was ready, so he cut out his bedroom light and made his way through the house. They'd eaten dinner hours ago, so Karen was on the couch watching TV while Abigail ate a small bowl of cereal.

She was just minding her business. Sitting right next to her mom so they could spend time together before she had to go to sleep. And David had just made it to the door before his father decided to say something.

"Are you sure you should be eating that?"

The question rang out in the air. It made Abigail's eyes go wide and Karen just stared at him with pure disbelief.

Abigail's teary gaze fell to David. He gave her a small but determined nod, and just like that, she blinked her tears away. Without a word, she took another bite of her cereal. She didn't even spare the older man a glance.

As David finally swung the door open, his dad walked away, leaving Karen and Abigail alone for the night.

Hopefully.

~*~

David had followed the directions to Michael's house, and while he hadn't thought the boy was poor, he hadn't expected a goddamn mansion.

He felt.. out of place. Being in that neighborhood, where all the houses were big and spaced out with more than enough lawn, it made him feel like a street rat or some s**t. He played it off well enough though as he stepped out of the car.

"David! Come on in, bro." It was Cory, and he was standing outside with the rest of his friends. They pulled him in by the shoulders, and everything in David wanted to push them off, his brain screaming don't touch me, but he played that off, too.

He really needed a beer. And a smoke.

"Where's the booze?" David asked, a tight smile working at his lips. He was led inside by the group of jocks, and it was even more crowded inside. The music was bumping, the air was smoky, and teens were grinding against each other already.

"Right here, man." Cory said as they squeezed past people to get to Michael's huge kitchen. There were various drink options on the island, ones where you could mix if you'd like, and David would definitely visit that later. For the moment though, he settled with a cold canned beer from the fridge.

He chugged the bitter liquid down, the boys around him cheering on, chug, chug, chug! He was already feeling looser, more comfortable. When he was done with it, he crushed the can and made a perfect shot into the trash from across the room.

"f**k yeah." David smirked to himself as he wiped his mouth. He could feel the beer trying to settle in his belly, and maybe he drank it a little too fast, but it was worth it because he was already feeling a slight buzz.

He took the Hennessey from off the counter and filled a red solo cup up with it. He sipped it slower than the beer though. It burned way more than that top quality beer the Smith's family kept in the fridge, but he liked it that way. After that, he was guided into the main room where everyone was either up dancing or sitting around smoking.

David looked around the room, past the group of people and to the pictures on the walls. Despite it being a party in a big house, it felt homey. He wondered where Michael was. It was his party, after all.

And just as he finished that thought, Michael was coming down the stairs, chasing after Rebecca. She looked royally pissed off, her high ponytail swinging behind her. David obviously had no idea what was happening but he did catch the end of it.

"I'm going home, Michael. I just need space, okay?" Rebecca yelled out from over the music. Michael's face went hollow at the emphasis she put on the word 'space', and all he did was nod, and watched her leave.

Cory was talking to him about tryouts but David wasn't listening. His gaze was on Michael and that hollow expression. He couldn't ignore how tight that made his chest feel. So he made up a half assed excuse and walked over to where Daniel was standing.

"Smith," David called out, and placed a hand on Michael's shoulder. "Are you okay?" Just as the words left his mouth, Michael looked up at him, his features open and vulnerable. His shoulders were shaking.

He was going to have a panic attack. That much David was sure of.

"Okay, we need to smoke. Now." David said as he looked around the room for anyone willing to sell some grass.

"I have some in my room." Michael mumbled. It was barely audible over the music but David heard it nonetheless. He let Michael lead him up the stairs, where people were either pressed up against the walls or waiting in line for the bathroom. The two boys squeezed past them and walked down the long hallway until they reached the last door on the right.

Michael stepped inside first, his fist tugging at the ends of his hair. David noticed then that he was actually wearing it down. He looked so good with it framing his face like that.

David shut the door behind him as Michael rummaged through his nightstand. He had his hair behind his ears to keep it out of the way and everything in David wanted to just run his fingers through it.

He took another sip of his drink and let the burn distract him as Michael sat on his bed and packed his weed pipe.

"Do you mind locking the door? I can't.. I can't deal with anyone else right now." It was easier to hear him with the music being muffled by the door. David just grunted in response and locked it like he was asked. Then he just plopped himself on the bed, right next to Michael.

He could see his whole room from right there. And it was huge. The walls were covered in band posters and some type of tribal art work. His bed was soft, too. David's mattress was old and kind of lumpy. He never ever really got a goodnight's sleep. He really could have fallen asleep right there if it wasn't for Michael tapping on his shoulder.

"Here." Michael said, his voice strained from his own toke. He gave David the pipe and his lighter, and kept his eyes on him as the blond lit it up and took in a long hit. His whiskey brown eyes stayed right there, already hooded from just the one hit.

David released the smoke from his lungs and his eyes shut automatically. This was way better than the stuff he'd already been smoking since being in Greensboro.

"Christ, Smith. This is good shit."

That seemed to make Michael smile. David had never seen those dimples up close before. He was sure that was first real smile the boy had ever given him. He couldn't help but think about how cute it was as he handed the pipe back to him.

"You sure cuss a lot for a Christian." Michael said through a chuckle. He took the pipe from David as the blond let out his own laugh at the accusation.

"What makes you think I'm a Christian?" David asked, amusement in his bright blue eyes. Michael held up his pointer finger as he took in another hit, holding it in for a few seconds before finally letting it out.

"Well," Michael coughed slightly, making them both laugh again, "You always wear this." And then Michael's hand was on the cross, his knuckles ghosting across David's bare sternum. He was too f****d up for that. It was harder to stifle the slight gasp that tried its best to escape his throat.

Michael was completely unaware though as he twirled it around his fingers. "Hm. I guess that's all the reasons I have." He pulled away then and David was finally able to let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

His skin still tingled where Michael had just touched him. His hands were shaking, and he had no idea why. He wasn't angry.

David was.. he was nervous. He wasn't used to that.

He used to be so confident about this kind of thing. Somehow though, what was happening felt so much different. His first example was that he had an overwhelming urge to be honest with Michael.

And so David was.

"It belonged to my mom. I keep it to remind me of her." As soon as he said it, a rush of emotion took over him. He hadn't brought up his mom out loud since he last talked to her. He shook his head and took the pipe from Michael so he could take another long hit. He could feel those eyes on him again, just watching him. David felt better as soon as he was done. His body vibrated with the high.

It somehow made it easier to answer Michael's questions.

"Did she, uh, pass away?" Smith asked, his tone soft and cautious. David slumped down into the bed and laid his head on the cloud soft pillows. He shook his head.

"She's still in Cali. She's.. sick." It was all David was able to give, and it seemed Michael knew better than to press the subject further. He just set the pipe down on his nightstand and slid down to lay on his back.

They laid there for what felt like hours in a comfortable silence. Their hands were so close, the back of their hands just ghosting against the other, both too high to care. David did get the urge to just take it in his, to feel those long fingers intertwining with his own, but the moment was perfect all on its own. He didn't want to potentially ruin it.

"Where are your parents right now, dude?" David found himself asking as he turned over on his side. Everything felt so hazy around him, but Michael was close enough to have his vision focus all on him. The dark haired boy turned over on his side as well, his hair a long mess behind him.

"My step dad is on a business trip in New York. My mom is with him." Michael explained. His eyes were so red and glassy. It somehow made the brown in them seem so much darker.

"They gone a lot?" David couldn't bring himself to feel bad for being nosey. He blamed it on the mix of weed and Hennessy, which was sitting half empty on the nightstand beside him.

Michael licked his dry lips. David couldn't help but watch as it glided gracefully between them. He took in a deep breath and just stared up at the ceiling.

Why wasn't he making his move already?

"Usually, yeah. It's.. kinda lonely, if I'm being honest." Michael admitted through a sigh. "Guess it makes me clingy. I don't know. 'Think that's why Rebecca left. Why she needs.. space. M'too much sometimes. I don't try to be."

Michael's voice sounded sad again, and as David turned back to his side, Michael's face was just as hollow as it was earlier. David wanted to kiss that expression off his face. That was too much though. The moment was too vulnerable, too precious. He couldn't take advantage of that.

"Michael." The sound of his first name instead of his last made the boy's head shoot up, almost comically. "That's normal. Human interaction is a necessity. Don't feel bad for wanting people to be around." David gave Michael's broad shoulder a comforting squeeze. And just as Michael's cheeks flushed with heat, David let his hand fall.

"...And while Rebecca could have handled it better, the way she feels is valid, too. You two just need to sit down and have a real conversation about how you both are feeling. It's an easy thing to sort out, man."

David wished he knew when to shut his mouth. He couldn't believe he just gave Michael relationship advice.

Damn you, weed, David thought ruefully.

Those chocolate brown eyes were on him again, making David's nerves flare with it. He smiled, nice and slow. He looked too good.

It wasn't fair.

"Thank you.. David." The sound of David's first name on Michael's lips made his heart rate pick up. "Anybody else would have just been like: f**k her, man. Plenty of fish in the sea." He said in a mock country accent, and David couldn't help but picture Brian.

"Thanks for being honest with me. It's refreshing."

David suddenly felt so tired then. The adrenaline from earlier in the night was slowly fading. His stupid advice had worked, which made his chances of hooking up close to zero. Great.

"Just another successful day at the office. That'll be three hundred dollars. And no, I don't take checks." David joked despite everything in him screaming with disappointment. Michael let out a sleepy little laugh, his fingers unknowingly brushing against David's wrist.

They sat in another comfortable silence. And for awhile, David just listened to Michael's steady breathing. He hadn't even noticed when his eyes started to drift closed. The bed was too soft, Michael's presence too comforting.

He couldn't control the moment he finally drifted away; dreaming of soft clouds and warm hands holding his.

~*~

When David's eyes fluttered open, he was sure of two things.

The first: he was not in his room.

The second: there were arms wrapped around his waist.

It took what felt like forever before he remembered the events of the night before, and along with it came the pang of his hangover.

"Shit." David cursed as he scrubbed a hand over his face. The body behind him shifted closer, pressing his hips against David's lower back. Michael's hips. It was Michael's morning wood pressing against his jean clad bottom. His heart rate started to pick up.

He had to get up. He had to get home before-

Oh s**t.

The clock beside him, in bright green letters, let him know that it was six in the morning. He had exactly an hour to get home before they all got up to get the day started. He tried to carefully slip out of Michael's hold and from under the blanket-how did the blanket even get on him?-but Michael just held him closer, his breath tickling the back of David's neck.

"..David.." Michael murmured sleepily. David's eyes grew wide at the sound of his name. He turned his head just enough to see that Michael's eyes were shut, his breathing steady and even.

He was still asleep.

And he was dreaming of David.. maybe? Probably not. He might not have heard him correctly.

David's heart was pounding in his chest. He wanted to stay right there in Michael's arms. It felt so warm and safe. He needed that, the warmth and the safety.

But he had to go. He had to make it home before his father woke up.

So no matter how bad it made him feel to disturb the other boy's no doubt peaceful slumber, he had to force his way out of the hold.

"Mhm-what..?" Michael mumbled incoherently.

"Uh, Smith. I got to go." That seemed to wake the boy up. He ripped away from David like he'd been burned and just about fell off the side of his bed.

David stifled a laugh as he got to his feet and straightened out his wrinkled clothes. His head still hurt. He couldn't make himself laugh even if he wanted to. One glance at Michael showed that he was feeling the same way.

"Since the host of the party fell asleep, there's no telling what I'm going to find outside that door." David pointed out and it made the long haired boy groan. "Wish I could help clean up, but I have to get home before my dad realizes I never came home."

Michael looked up at him then, his expression open and still so sleepy. Once again, David felt the urge to get back in bed. To have Michael hold him and just forget about the outside world. He also figured it wouldn't be that easy what with him actually being awake.

"Okay. Drive safe, man." Michael said with a small smile. It was tight around the edges, like he was concerned about something. He could also just be having a painful hangover just like David. That would make more sense.

"Thanks. See you at school." And with that, he picked up his red solo cup filled with stale Hennessy, unlocked the door and stepped out. Just like he expected, the hall and the stairs were lined with trash.

And even though his head was throbbing and he was on a time crunch, he managed to pick up a hand full of empty cups and empty chip bags. He found the kitchen easily enough, past the living room where there were still some teens passed out on the furniture and the floor, and stuffed it all in the trash can.

It was still messy, but at least he could say he helped somehow.

He rushed outside and fumbled with his keys so he could unlock his Camaro and get it started. He really had to hurry. That small clean up easily took up fifteen minutes of his time. Traffic wasn't that bad that early in the morning, so he managed to get home get home pretty quickly with the help of speeding. With no scared brat in his passenger seat, he could go as fast as he wanted. He knew that at some point he'd get pulled over pulling that mess, but it hadn't happened yet, so he found himself to be okay with it.

David was sure he was in the clear. He could quietly step inside and get in the shower, and it'd look like he'd gotten up before everyone else to get ready. And it'd be okay. It would be okay.

He guessed he should have known how wrong that would be. It was never okay. He was never okay.

William had been waiting for him. He was on the couch, beer in hand. He had dark circles under his eyes, like he'd been up for awhile. And maybe that should have been a normal sight. Because that was what a parent would normally do when they were worried about their kids.

But David knew that wasn't what that was.

"Dad, I can explain." He started as his father set his drink down and rose to his feet. "I had full intentions on coming home, but I fell asleep. It was an accident. I'm sorry." And it really wasn't a lie. He had meant to come home, especially since he didn't get what he wanted in the first place.

His dad didn't say a word, just kept walking towards him. David had nowhere to go but to back up against the front door. He was cornered. No where to run. He could do nothing but stand there as his father gave him one good backhanded slap across the face. Tears burned at the corners of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

"No more excuses. I'm tired of this crap, David." And then his fingers were in his hair, tugging tightly at the roots. David couldn't help it, a single tear managed to escape and fall down his red cheek.

"Do you think I'm stupid, boy? Think I don't notice when you come home smelling like another man?" William's jaw was tight as he said those words, and for the first time in a long time, David felt true fear. It was cold like ice water in his veins.

"Dad, no, that's-" But before he could manage another excuse, he was met with a punch right in his gut. He fell to his knees, gasping for breath. He could do nothing as William bent down and ripped his shirt off, the buttons clattering to the floor.

His mind was blank for a few moments, wondering why his father did that. But then he heard the sound of a belt buckle being undone. He knew what was coming then.

Instead of crying, instead of begging, he stayed as still as he could as father hit his back with the leather belt. He bit at his lip so hard that he could feel blood pooling into his mouth, but he couldn't stop, couldn't let himself scream.

"Worthless faggot," William heaved out with another blow. David could feel something warm trickling down his back already.

He really thought he was going to pass out from the pain, but then there was a little voice coming from the hallway, "W-what are you doing to him?!" It was Abigail, in her long light blue nightgown, her bed hair full of frizz. She had tears running down her cheeks.

Abigail wasn't meant to see that. She wasn't supposed to know. She looked so small, so scared, and there was nothing David could do about it.

"Go to your room, Abigail. Now." And just as the words came out, Karen appeared from their bedroom as if on cue and pulled the screaming girl away.

"Mom, let me go! D-did you see what, what he did?!"

Her voice faded out as the door slammed shut behind them.

William grumbled to himself as he pulled his son to his feet. David staggered a bit, his back and shoulders screaming in protest with each movement.

"Look at me, David."

He looked up instantly. He made sure to keep his shoulders straight and chin up.

"Get cleaned up and put something nice on. You're still going to church. You need it."

David kept eye contact as he nodded, "Yes, sir." He said as he went to do exactly as he was told.

All that time he thought he was hiding it perfectly well.

It wouldn't be the first time that David found himself to be wrong.

That was just who he was. And from where he was standing, his back beaten and bloody, there would be no escape from it.