Midnight Smiles

Jake you i***t. You are naked!!!

“You are writing?” Aiden asked amazed. He was leaning against the door frame of my room, with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked happier these days. Like I said as long as he was happy, I didn’t care about the reason. And I knew for sure I wasn’t the reason.

“Yes.” I smiled down at my work on the laptop’s screen. Honestly I missed writing. Words just came to me and now I was back... writing my heart and thoughts out. It felt nice.

“And you are smiling...” I noticed his happy voice. He sounded surprised. Was it so impossible of me smiling? Why it surprised people so much? Why was it surprising me so much?

“And you have to get your ass off my room and go to school.” I gave him a glare, but he was still smiling. It was annoying if you ask me. It was more like that smile... The word smirk would describe it better... It was like that smirk someone holds when everything goes as he has planed it. It gets in your nerves.

Especially when it’s not true.

Shrugging, Aiden left my room closing the door behind him. My eyes turned to the page in my laptop’s screen. I missed writing so much... But I had no idea where I was taking this story. I didn’t even think about it... I could get stuck every moment...

***

An animalistic noise filled the room. It could scare any human miles away. It scared my brother.

“What the f**k Jake???” He shouted. But I, being me, ignored him and let out that animalistic noise again.

I was lied down on the floor, wearing only my Batman boxers, my face pressed against the floor as now and then I kicked the floor like a four year old kid who didn’t get what he wanted. I want to get what I want.

“Are you high?” Aiden asked not daring to touch me. He was looking me down with wide eyes, having no idea what was going on.

“As you can see my dear brother, I’m down... Here on the floor. If I was high I would be on the ceiling. Does this look like the ceiling to you? Because it doesn’t to me. Why? Because this is the f*****g floor. So no. I’m not high.” And all of that was said in one breath. I have no idea how could I even speak so fast. Maybe I should be the next Eminem.

“What?” Aiden shouted confused. “Jake what is wrong?”

“What is wrong? I tell you what is wrong. I’M STUCK.” I screamed on the top of my lungs and just to make it more dramatic I let out that animalistic noise again.

“Where?” He is stupid, isn’t he? Because he was looking at my body trying to figure out where was I stuck. I was lied in the middle of the floor in the f*****g middle of the room. Where could I be stuck for God’s sake?

“In the book you idiot.” I shouted rolling my eyes.

Well... Let’s say that I got stuck earlier than I predicted. What? If you don’t write, you don’t know the struggle. It gets in your nerves and you just want to write... You know what to write... But you don’t know how to get to that part. It’s just a little missing piece. But it makes you so.... UGHHHHH!!! So that explains the animalistic noises.

“Thank God!” I heard Aiden say. The moment the words reached my ears I got up immediately, scaring Aiden a few steps away. Maybe it was because of the look I was giving to him.

“Thank God? Why??? I’m stuck you idiot.” I punched his shoulder still with that look in my face. And instead of punching back or I don’t know what else I was expecting from him, he laughed. And obviously I didn’t expect that. “Are you mentally challenged?”

“You are an ass Jake.” He said between laughs.

“Tell me something I don’t know. Now why are you laughing at my critical situation?” My eyes narrowed at him. “Because it is serious.”

“It has been almost a year or even more since you last had this kind of brake downs because of writing a book.” Now he was smiling. That made me even more confused. “You are back.”

“From hell to kill you.” I continued his sentence and glared at him. “Aiden, I don’t want to shatter your hopes, but I will never come back. I was never gone in the first place. I just changed. So stop hoping.” The words came out in such a cold away they could give Devil a cold in Hell. I didn’t want to bring his hopes down in this way, but it would be harder for him later.

I would never be me again. Nothing could bring me back to what I once was.

But his smile never left. “We will see that my stupid of brother.” And the jerk had the nerve to leave like he was a badass. Puh-lease!!! We all know who is the badass here.

Stop looking around morons. I’m talking about me. Surprised much? Pfff... People this days.

Where was I?

Oh yeah....

And the animalistic noise come out again... Followed by a strong impact in my head making my mind go in circles. What the fuck...

“Stop fooling around you moron.” Natalie glared at me. She had a six hundred page book in her hands, holding it in a threatening way. So she hit me with a book. Wow! “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to get inspired.” I glared at her. Why no one doesn’t appreciate my way of getting ideas? Every time I go through it, I always get hit by something, or thrown out of the house to spend the night in the tree in the back yard. Seriously? Give me some space people.

“How? By acting like a freaking bear?” She said to me annoyed. I shrugged and was about to say yes, when she hit me in the shoulder again with the book. “Now get up and go to your inspiring place.” She pointed at the door.

I shook my head hard. “No. I don’t want to.” And like the twenty year old man I was, I lied down on the floor and hugged the leg of my desk, not letting it go.

“Jake I’m not playing around.”

“I don’t want to go there.” I cried out. Natalie rolled her eyes and slapped her forhead hard. A laugh escaped my mouth as I noticed she had a red mark of her hand on her forehead.

“What was that?” She snapped her head to me with a shocked face.

“I swear I didn’t fart.” I said shaking my head.

“No that you idiot.” The book hit me again in the head. Okay this is getting really annoying. The next time she tries to hit me again with that book, I will shove it up her ass. I don’t care if she is older than me or that she is a woman. She was taking this too far. “You laughed.”

“Yeah people do that sometimes.” I said trying to shrug it off. But I knew what she was trying to say. It scared me, so I wasn’t going to talk about it. How did it come that laughing and smiling became such easy... A normal thing to do for me? I had such a long time without doing it. And now.... It happened without me noticing it. Am I getting sick? Or am I high?

The drugs I took that night were in the end of my drawer, untouched. I stood awake or whatever, never slept... And still... I didn’t put any of those pills in my mouth. It was like I was saving them for later... But deep inside I just didn’t want to take them. I never wanted... But it looked like I had found the will to leave them. At least for a short period of time.

Natalie shook her head lightly smiling with her eyes closed. And then she opened her eyes looking at me directing that smile towards me.

“In your inspiring place. NOW!!!” The smile was gone from her face, giving the place to the creepy expression. This woman is more scary than Godzilla. She was more like Mangerzilla. Or... Natazilla.

Scared that she would cut my head off, I got up and ran to the bathroom.

Yeah... My inspiring place is the bathroom. If anyone asks me where my ideas come from, I always make up a lie and tell them: “They just came to me... My family inspires me.” And other bullshits like that. The truth... My family will never be able to inspire me. And I get most of the ideas when I’m in bathroom. I don’t know why. It is like that place is a idea magnet.

But even after spending an hour in bathroom trying to get any ideas to continue the chapter, I was still stuck... And as the midnight was coming... My thoughts... Wondered more and more about Ryder. I’m sick aren’t I?

Think about it.

I’m walking around the bathroom just in my Batman boxers, thinking of visiting a girl two years younger than me, in her room in the middle of the night. Did I forget to mention I once had a crush on her?

A smile escaped my lips as I thought about the time I used to notice her every time she walked down the hallways of the school. There was something about her that I liked. I have no idea what, but something in her attracted me towards her.

But it was a stupid crush. She was younger than me. It was stupid then... It is stupid now.

It is so stupid... I HAVE TO SEE HER!!!

And just like that I stormed out of the bathroom, and left the house.

“JAKE!!!” Aiden shouted behind me. I didn’t want to turn my head. I needed to see her. This is so... OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DOING? I’m getting addicted. “Jake you i***t. You are naked!!!” Aiden shouted again. My eyes went down at my body. Oops? I forgot I was only on my boxers.

Two old ladies were looking at me with wide eyes probably thinking I was high. A few days ago I would think the same. But what the f**k is wrong with me now that I haven’t taken drugs in days?

Waving awkwardly to the old ladies I went back to the house to get clothed. Aiden slapped the back of my head hard glaring at me. “You are such a dork.”

I gave him a look and ran to my room. Making sure, I wasn’t going out naked again and taking the hoodie with me, I left the house... This time with clothes on.

***

“Ry!” I touched her shoulder lightly. This girl should learn a lesson to never leave the freaking window open. Because like the very first time I got here, the window was open.

Her eyes widened and her mouth opened to scream. s**t!

I panicked and before I knew what was I doing I slapped her shut. Thankfully I didn’t used too much strength. To make it clear to her that I wouldn’t hurt her, I touched my lips gesturing to her to don’t make any noise... to stay calm.

I am touching her lips aren’t I?

“Oh my God Midnight!” She breathed as I removed my hand from her lips. It was getting weird if you ask me. But I didn’t think about it too much as I noticed her voice tremble as she spoke. It was like she was trying not to cry. I scared her, didn’t I?

I sat on her bed and pulled her in a tight hug. Where did I find the balls to do that? I don’t know. “I’m sorry I scared you.” She just nodded. This is weird too. But I couldn’t help myself as I ran my hand through her hair. It felt... Nice... Weird. But nice.

“You came!” She pulled back, making me feel empty without her in my arms.

What the f**k Jake???

I laughed a little, trying to shake away whatever the f**k was happening to me. It was weird. And it was bad. All of this was, but I think we all know now that I’m an i***t. So yeah... Let’s skip that part this time.

Removing the hood from my face, this time I smiled at her sincerely.

“I promised didn’t I? Besides I knew you would be probably waiting for me. Just look at the window. You left it open for me...” I smirked at her. I’m seriously mentally challenged. Not my brother. I am. She punched my arm, probably glaring at me. “Anyway... How are you doing? You look a little jumpy...” I smirked at my words.

“I watched a horror movie. Never doing it again. Never, ever in my life again.” The way she said it made me laugh. Ugh this girl! How can she make me laugh? Maybe because she is... So innocent... I don’t know.

“You look like the kind of a girl who is fearless. You helped a stranger who entered your room instead of screaming.” I smiled at her.

“I would actually scream ‘raper’ but then you fall in the floor so...”. At that I Iaughed again. This time even more. I felt something in my hear as I laughed. It was like... I don’t know... Like something hit it hard... And sweetly. Like a sweet pain. Just... It didn’t hurt.

What the f**k is wrong with me?

“I brought ice cream.” I said remembering that I bought freaking ice cream. Seriously what is wrong with me? Buying ice cream? In my defense the ice cream winked at me. What? I love ice cream.

I handed her the chocolate and vanilla ice cream and one of the two spoons like it was the most normal thing in the world to get in some girl’s room in the middle of the night and eat ice cream with her.

Like I said... In my defense the ice cream winked at me... From the shop’s window. Who cares?

“Why?” Ryder asked confused and I tried hard to don’t laugh as I heard her stomach growl as she was looking at the ice cream. No one can stand the power of ice cream.

“I felt like eating ice cream tonight.” I honestly said and took a spoonful with vanilla ice cream. Yummy!!!

We fell in silence and it actually felt good. To just have her next to me and feel her presence and don’t have to talk to her to have a good time. It was still weird.

I noticed her scent. For some reasons she smelt like oranges. It was refreshing and made my mouth water. Okay this is stupid. And I’m really getting insane.

Luckily before I could get even more insane that I already was, Ry opened her mouth in a huge yawn. My lips formed a small smile. “You should sleep. And I have to go.” More like run away because I’m stupid enough to come here in first place. I actually almost came naked here...

I got up from the bed and headed to the window, but before I could lean out of the window, Ry grabbed my wrist and pulled me back next to her.

Mentally freaking out.

“What’s wrong?” My voice came out weak, from the mental freaking, hopefully she didn’t notice. What the hell is happening?

“I’m scared.” She said and from the tone she used I could tell she felt embarrassment. “Stay longer.”

I smiled at her words. She slowly lied down on her bed as I sat next to her. Okay... What am I supposed to do now? I looked down at her and that stupid smile formed in my lips again. My hand went to her hair playing with it. Her hair was so soft... I’m a creep. Great God help me.

It felt nice.

“Goodnight Ry!”

I heard her breathing slowing down as she fell asleep. She looked so peaceful... This time I didn’t even try to stop the smile as it formed in my lips. You know when I said that I liked the feeling I get when I paint? This was almost the same. Maybe even better. That emptiness inside me... It was more like it didn’t existed.... I felt like I didn’t even weigh. Like I was floating... My soul was floating...