Bite Me If You Can

After a long day of honest work, I was cornered in the parking garage. My assailant? Our CEO. He pinned my hands behind my back, his voice a menacing whisper against my ear, "Mila, will you finally agree to let me be your dog?" ***** "Don't even think about coming home until you've found a girlfriend for your brother!" My mom roared over the phone. "That hooligan! Do you have any idea how many decent girls he's ruined? Why are you still trying to find him a girlfriend?" I roared back. "If he has a girlfriend, he'll stop messing around," my mom insisted. I couldn't understand my mom's unwavering devotion to that beast. If it were up to me, he'd be scheduled for a vasectomy. Barely three minutes after hanging up, my mom called again. "My son only likes white Poodles. Don't try to