This New Life

This Feeling

When Calida got home the day of her detention her mother was waiting for her in the kitchen. The rage was written all over her face. 

"Explain yourself, Calida!" Her mother demanded.

"What?" Calida tried to play it off acting all innocent as if she had no idea what her mother was talking about.

"You know what I'm talking about" she stated.

"No, I honestly don't."

"Oh, so we're lying now too?!"

"I'm not lying!" She defended.

"Oh. You're not? Then why did I get a call in the middle of the day from one of your teachers informing me that you're going to stay after school?" her mother demanded to know.

"It was nothing."

"Stop lying to me. I am your mother and I demand to know why you were in detention after school, since we've, started being so rebellious now."

Calida hurt by her mother's words decided to just tell her the truth because she thought that it couldn't get any worse than it already is. "It's nothing. I don't know why everyone is making such a big fuss about it. I was literally just looking at a bo-"

"A BOY. A BOY! OH, SO NOW WE'RE LETTING BOYS COME IN THE WAY OF OUR STUDIES?" Her mother was furious and could no longer contain her anger towards Calida.

"No, it's just-"

"IT'S JUST, IT'S JUST," Her mother mocked her, "IT'S JUST WHAT? WE'RE A TEENAGER NOW SO WE JUST WANT s*x. HUH? IS THAT IT?"

Calida, hurt by the fact that her mother thought of her as a slut, retaliated back turning this argument into a heated war of words. "OH, SO YOU THINK I'M A SLUT NOW? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE BOY."

"I KNOW ENOUGH. I KNOW THAT HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU AND THAT GOES FOR ANY OTHER BOY AT THAT SCHOOL. YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE LOOKING AT BOYS THAT WAY."

"I'M 18 WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M TOO YOUNG. YOU KNEW DAD SINCE YOU WERE 16 AND GOD KNOWS WHAT YOU TWO WERE DOING AT THAT AGE."

"DON'T YOU DARE BRING YOUR DAD INTO THIS MESS OF YOURS. YOU ARE TOO YOUNG AND THAT IT. THIS BOY WILL JUST RUIN YOUR LIFE."

"HOW ARE YOU JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND JUDGE HIM WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHO HE IS. HE IS LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON THAT HAS ACKNOWLEDGED ME EVER SINCE WE MOVED HERE AND THE ONLY PERSON TO ASK ME HOW I'M DOING. IN THE FEW MONTHS THAT I'VE KNOWN HIM HE'S BEEN A BETTER FRIEND TO ME THAN YOU'VE BEEN A MOTHER FOR THESE PAST FEW YEARS." Calida was sick of her mother's control over her and in the heat of the moment didn't realize what she had just said. But right there and then it was exactly how she felt even if it was remotely true.

"CALIDA! I AM YOUR MOTHER. HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO SOME BOY YOU'VE KNOWN FOR ONLY A FEW MONTHS AFTER ALL THAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU." Her mother obviously hurt by her daughter's tried her hardest not to show it so that she does not yield to her daughter.

"EVER SINCE WE'VE MOVED HERE YOU HAVEN'T ASKED ME ONCE HOW I'M FEELING. YOU SEEM TO FORGET THAT YOU HAVE TWO CHILDREN AND JUST FOCUS ON THE BABY. "

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU WHEN YOU NEVER TALK TO ME, MAKING IT ALL OUT TO BE MY FAULT WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE THAT HAS PUSHED EVERYONE OUT OF HER LIFE."

"MAYBE IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD HAVE TRIED HARDER." Silence followed as both women were processing the words that just came out of Calida's mouth.

"Go to your room. GO! YOU ARE NOT TO COME OUT UNTIL I SAY SO AND IF I EVEN CATHC U TALKING ABOUT THAT BOY AGAIN I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WE HADN'T MOVED!" Commanded her mother on the verge of tears.

Calida stormed up to her room and as she slammed the door to her room behind she yelled out "I HATE YOU!" Three words that echoed throughout the house.

As soon her daughter was out of sight he melted and the hard exterior that she put up so as not to yield to her daughter disappeared. She slumped down against the island in the kitchen. In the heat that enveloped her and the rest of the room, she buried her hands in her arms as she cried. Crying because of the distance she felt between her and her daughter. A distance she doesn't know how to get across. A distance she feels she can't get across because of the differences between the two points they are at. But at that moment she didn't know how alike they truly were.

Calida was slumped against the foot of her bed. On one hand, she regretted everything she said to her mother but on the other, she felt relieved that she got everything off her chest. She couldn't help feel an ache in her heart, however. An ache caused by the distance she felt between herself and her mother. A distance she wants to cross but doesn't know-how. Between the conflicting natures of their personality and the only similarity between their stubbornness, she didn't know where to start. She didn't know a lot of things when it came to her mother. The only thing she did know was that she wasn't going to let her mother's traditional ideals get in the way of her feelings for Cole. Feelings unlike any she's ever felt. Feelings so strong she couldn't deny them.

But right now she didn't want to think of anything. She just wanted to be alone. She felt like she was going to consume herself with the combined anger and sadness she was feeling so as she got up to lay on her bed she simply stared blankly at her ceiling.

                                                                                                   ***  

The next few days Calida did exactly as her mother commanded of her. She walked straight to school and back with no lingering as soon as school finished. But one day she did not obey. She just wanted to be free for one day. Even if that meant another scolding from her. 

What's the worse that could happen?

After school Calida made her way out of the massive double glass doors at the entry, down the stairs, and made her way into town. She passed the market in the town center, where vendors were selling all sorts of products from live animals, to food, to clothes and even furniture. She only glanced from the side of her eye as she knew that if she showed any interest in the sellers they would hunt her down like hawks and wouldn't leave her in peace until she bought something. She shoved her way through the crowd of people until she made it to a side street and managed to escape the bustling market. As she walked on the cobblestone path she took her first real look at the village. The houses were all old cottages made out of stone with beautiful windows with iron bars. Everyone's house looked the same however everyone adding their own flare by decorating their window sills. Some had pictures, others plants and in some there even was a cat napping in the afternoon sun. 

Various buildings had signs attached to them on wrought-iron supports indicating some type of shop or a restaurant and as she passed a local corner restaurant she could not help but stare at the cozy interior lit with those yellow lights she likes. The shop itself radiated its warmth and coziness outside and as she stood in the entryway she felt at home. A feeling she hadn't felt for a long time if she had ever felt it at all.

She eventually made her way to the outer wall of the village and as she traced her hand on the bumps in the wall she couldn't help but feel as if she was being followed. She paid no attention to it and walked towards the town's old gate that became disused when the hunters left. 

Who would be following me? It's not like anyone knows where or who I am. Only Cole wants to. If it was mum I wouldn't even be saying this cos I'd be halfway home in the car receiving a scolding for how irresponsible and disrespectful I am. So what's the worse that could happen?

As she reached the gate she saw the world in front of her. The vast countryside stretching as far as the eye could see with several farmhouses scattered around. She took her first steps out and then looked back to get a good look at the gate. It was made out of this grey majestic stone and had the town flag on either side of the opening; two gold lions back to back on a red background who, according to her mother, represent the two founders of the town who first set up camp there hundreds of years ago. Directly above them were two guard towers that while they don't serve any military purpose they serve as a sort of lighthouse would where they would look out for any travelers or people in need. 

Calida turned around again, took a breath of the fresh and free air, and took her first steps on the road of defiance. She walked through the Vermenian countryside admiring the far stretches of untouched free land whereon it roamed herds of sheep, goat, cows, and the occasional team of horses grazing on the grass which contrasted greatly with her past life in the bustling city where it seemed as if no one had time for anything.  What truly caught her eyes however were the massive fields sown with all sorts of fruit, vegetables, flowers of all shapes and sizes. The vast array of colors was so mesmerizing that she couldn't take her eyes off of them. 

When she was released from the trance she made her way to the hill that looked over the town and sought shelter in the shade of the massive oak that stood alone on the hill. Detached from its siblings at the bottom of the hill who huddled together seeking shelter in numbers. The tree had outlived many generations of Vermenians and had been present in all major events such as the founding of the town, the battles between the magic wielders and the hunters and its modernization. As she laid in the shade feeling the breeze blow through her and the sun's kisses on her face as it occasionally peeped through the leaves. As she lied there she still felt watched yet however ignored but she brushed off that feeling and fell into a deep sleep on the green grass on top of the hill where she felt on top of the world.

                                                                                                   ***    

When she jerked upright it had already begun to get dark and the sun was setting. The cool breeze that had run its hands through her hair had now died down and as she looked out to the horizons she marveled at the bright orange horizon that reflected onto the clouds staining them a deep red which flowed slowly on a purple sky that blended into a darkish blue. As she got up and picked up her phone fear had gripped her as she saw the 20 plus missed calls she had received from her mother. 

I'm so dead.....so dead. She's gonna kill me for sure. But it was worth it. Even for this view alone.

 As she turned to face the town she felt warm inside as she saw the street lights slowly light up and the people gathering in their houses to be with their family. At that moment she was jealous of them, of their connection. She slowly made her way back home but that feeling still had a hold on her, as if she was being watched. She occasionally shone her phone's torch behind her whenever she heard a twig snap or leaves rustle only to see the shadow of a rabbit or a rat scurry into the forest. But the longer she walked the more time she had to think until she finally came to the agreement with herself that she was in danger and began sprinting home. 

As she glanced over her shoulder her heart stopped and she couldn't breathe as she saw the black silhouette sprint towards her. She was petrified. She couldn't amass any strength to run or move or even to defend herself. But at the moment where she braced herself for the worse, the figure swerved into the forest and as she opened her eyes she saw the road in front of her illuminated by the headlights of a car and as this car pulled up beside her she got her first look at her savior.

"Get in before he comes back. I'll take you home"

"Th....Th...Thanks" Calida stammered as she slowly got into the red SUV.

"No need to thank me. Just lucky I was here to save you. Who knew what would have happened."

"Thanks Cole."

"Don't mention it. Now, which way is home?"

Here. I am home now that you're here. 

"Th...Th...That way." She said as she pointed the way. 

Cole slowly drove Calida back home playing some soft tunes in the background in the hopes of calming her down. He didn't know what music she liked and knew that now wasn't the time to ask her after all that happened so they drove in silence until they reached her home which wasn't too far away from where he found her. 

"Is this it?" He asked as he slowed down to a stop as he approached her house.

"Yes but don't pull up too close just in case my mother sees. She already hates me as it is and after the 20 missed calls I'm surely dead"

"You should cut her some slack. She's doing the best she can to keep you safe especially with the move and everything."

"She could calm down a bit and not be so controlling"

"She does that cos she cares. I would do anything to get my mother back."

Calida froze and didn't know what to say. She was never good in this kind of situations and whenever she tried to console someone she always came across as being too sarcastic or disinterested."I'm sorry for your loss," It was the best she could come up with without seeming unkind.

"She's not dead but more like under the control of her drugs, she always absent-minded to the point where she forgets she even has kids let alone remember our names and ever since my dad passed away I've had to raise my little brother, but ya I'm sorry I lost her too." 

Calida instantly regretted saying anything. "I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way I'm not good in these kinds of situations I'm-"

Cole didn't give her a chance to finish her sentence as he leaned in towards her and kissed her. He caressed her face and ran his hands through her hair while she didn't even register what hit her but as his hands gently brushed against her legs she relaxed and all her fears, stress and worries left her body. As he pulled away she leaned in further as she didn't want to let g. She didn't want to let him leave and before she knew it she was sitting on top of him in the driver's seat. The car had now been enveloped in calming heat that fogged up the windows separating them from the outside world and at that moment they became one as they let their feelings for each other come out in full force. 

As he pulled away from her soft lips he stared into the amber eyes and was at a loss of words especially when those innocent yet powerful eyes looked deep into his."You're beautiful." he whispered and then went in for another kiss. As he slowly kissed down her neck and onto her chest the car got warmer and warmer.

They had become one there and then a few meters away from her house. She got to truly express her feelings for him for the first time, with the boy that had mother had forbidden to be with. But she didn't care. Nothing bothered her anymore. His lips on hers, his body on hers, his strong yet soft and gentle hands running up and down her body expelled any thoughts she had and she was focused only on him. Even as she walked into her house and he drove away she had no thoughts but him. Even when her mother was unleashing hell onto her she did not flinch. The world was silent and all the noise was drowned out by that one boy. The boy that she was in love with. The boy that changed her life. The boy that she wanted with her whole heart.