Voice in my head
The front door swings open, and Xavier walks in with a woman Hazel has never seen.
She is tall, in a tight red dress, with glossy hair and heels that click across the marble. She stands too close to him. Hazel puts down the baby socks she is folding and rises from the sofa, one hand under her belly.
"Xavier, you're home early." She smiles, because she always does when he walks in. "Who is this?"
"My cousin." He drops his keys in the bowl like it's nothing. "Vanessa."
Vanessa lowers her gaze and pulls at her sleeve, a perfect picture of shame. "Hello, Hazel. I'm sorry to barge in."
"Not at all." Hazel offers her hand, warm and open. "Please sit. Are you hungry? I can make tea."
"She doesn't need tea." Xavier's tone is sharp, then smooth again, as if he caught himself. He guides Vanessa to the sofa, then comes and takes Hazel's hands. His thumbs rub circles on her knuckles. "Love, I need to ask you something, and I need you to stay calm."
Her heart gives a small, nervous skip. "What is it?"
"Vanessa owes money to some dangerous men. Seventy thousand dollars. If she doesn't pay tonight, they'll come for her."
"Seventy thousand?" Hazel's smile slips. "Xavier, that's..."
"I need your card."
The room goes quiet. Hazel draws her hands back and holds them against her belly.
"I can't," she says softly. "That money is for the baby, for when he's born. I've been saving every month."
"Hazel."
"I'm sorry for her, I truly am. We can find another way. We'll call someone, my father maybe..."
"Your father." Xavier lets out a short laugh and drags a hand down his face. "Of course. Run to Daddy. You always do."
"That's not fair."
"Isn't it?" He steps closer, his voice dropping, gentle and cold at once. "Do you remember the night your mother was in the hospital? Who stayed beside you? Who held you while you cried?"
Her eyes sting. "You did."
"And I never asked for anything. Not one thing." He tilts his head, studying her like something fragile he could crush. "And now my own blood begs for help, and you stand there counting your money."
"It's not like that."
"It feels exactly like that." He sighs and looks at Vanessa, who sniffles into her palm. "I thought I married a woman with a heart. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe the pregnancy has made you hard."
Hazel's chest tightens. "I'm not hard. Don't say that."
"Then why are you so suspicious of me?"
"I'm not suspicious, Xavier. I love you."
"Then act like it." He says it softly, almost kindly, and it cuts deeper than a shout. "Or should I tell Vanessa to go home and face them alone? Whatever happens to her will be on your conscience. You can live with that, can't you? You can sleep with that?"
Her eyes sting harder. She looks at Vanessa, who trembles on the sofa. She looks at her husband, whose face is hurt, patient, waiting.
Maybe she is being cruel. Maybe fear for her baby has made her forget how to be kind.
"Okay," she whispers.
Xavier's face softens at once. "That's my girl."
She opens her purse and draws out the black card. It feels heavier than it should. She turns toward the glass table and lets her fingers loosen.
"Mummy, don't."
Her hand stops in midair.
The voice is tiny and clear, like a child whispering inside her skull. "Mummy, don't give Daddy the card. He's lying. That lady is his mistress. She's not his cousin."
Hazel looks around the room. The curtains hang still. The clock ticks. Her own breath is loud in her ears.
"Xavier," she says slowly. "Did you hear someone speak?"
He frowns. "Speak?"
"A voice. A child's voice."
"Nobody spoke." His mouth tightens, and his patience wears thin. "Give me the card, Hazel. You're wasting time. What are you still thinking about?"
"Mummy, listen." The voice is faster now, trembling. "In our last life, Daddy betrayed us. When the apocalypse came, he threw us out of the house. He left us to die."
Her breath catches. The baby kicks hard under her palm, one sharp thump, like he is saying...it's me.
She lifts her eyes.
Xavier has turned toward the sofa. Vanessa has slipped into his arms, her cheek against his chest. His hand rests on her head, and he strokes her hair slowly, lazily, the way a man pets something that belongs to him.
Neither of them looks at Hazel.
Something inside her goes very still.
She doesn't cry. She doesn't shout. She watches his fingers move through that woman's hair and feels something she loved for years quietly c***k down the middle.
Then, softly, she smiles.
"Here."
She tosses the card onto the table. It slides across the glass and stops at his feet.
"The PIN is my birthday."
Xavier smirks and scoops it up. He doesn't thank her. Instead he kisses Vanessa's forehead first, then glances back at Hazel as if she were a servant who finally did her job.
"Good wife or should I say fiancee. See how easy that was?" He slips the card into his pocket. "Now go and cook something nice. Vanessa and I will be back for dinner. Make it special and sweet."
"Of course," Hazel says gently. "Anything you want."
He takes Vanessa's hand. At the door, Vanessa glances over her shoulder, and her lips curl in a small, slow smile that she no longer bothers to hide. The door shuts. An engine starts. The sound fades down the long drive.
Hazel stands alone in the silent living room with one hand on her belly.
"Mummy." The voice is small and hurt. "Why did you give them the money?"
Hazel walks to the window and watches the taillights slide through the gate. Her smile stays, calm and quiet.
"I didn't baby", she tells him in her mind.