Ben wasn’t at home (either home) when I dropped off Renee. Since I couldn’t remember his work hours, I took a quick shower and headed straight to my office to avoid him. I’d made no commitment to Renee yet, and my mind was in a spin cycle. I’m self-aware enough to know that one reason I feel such a strong connection with Ben is that he reminds me of my teen self. I hadn’t been an only child, but I’d felt isolated from my family, especially after my brother died. And, okay, I get the whole “my elder brother dies so I adopt a younger brother” dynamic. But all of this prodigious self-awareness didn’t make it any easier for me to separate my own familial dysfunction from Ben’s and see things objectively.
Unable to keep my mind on anything billable, I cleaned the bathroom. It was a useful occu
