My Undiscovered Love

Chapter one; I suppose all love books start in a traditional way with a traditional setting and an outline where a boy meets a girl and, eventually, after defeating all the obstacles in their way, they are able to get together and ‘live happily ever after’. But, well, my story starts a little differently; it starts with what was and still is the worst day of my life, the day my dad died. I’ll start from the very morbid beginning so you are able to understand what and why I make the decisions I end up making and so you don’t miss a single second of my undiscovered love. The day my dad died, as you may guess, started normally the way it would for any other person, nothing extraordinarily memorable or great, just a normal day in a completely normal life. ….. I woke with a smile on my face, my brand new swanky flat was finally finished and my best friend, Mattie, had moved in yesterday. I rushed to his door, still in my PJ’s, and swung the door open, “get up roomie! We have just too much to unpack today, and lucky for you, I’m here to help” I said, rushing in about to pounce on him, but before I could he rolled over, his golden, wavy locks falling onto his face. Burying his face into the pillow, he moans “it’s so early! Go and annoy your dog first, then me second”. “I absolutely cannot. This is exciting Mattie, we have wanted to live together since I met you, we have to have everything perfect”. I nearly shouted, I couldn’t remember the last time I was this excited and Gods knows why, but I had waited so long for this flat and I wanted, No, NEEDED it to be beyond amazing. My dad had built my flat on his farm, which is why it took an extremely long time to get it done, because he had other things on his mind like animals and stuff, and that is why I wanted everything to look good; he spent his time and money on this for me and I needed to give it some respect. I never had anything nice growing up, so this was my chance to finally have nice surroundings. It was nothing but second-hand ornaments and walls that were falling down around us, broken things that just were never fixed and projects that never seemed to get finished. But this flat, this was mine and I wanted it to be nothing like the house I grew up in, I wanted it to be special, and Mattie needed to help right away. Mattie’s baby blues fluttered open and looked in to my almost identical ones. “uck, Amalie! Fine, but you had better make me bacon for breakfast because it’s very unhealthy to work on an empty stomach” he said throat still rough from sleep. “Ha fine. Hurry up and get ready, got lots to do today” I said, already walking out because I was dying to use my new kitchen. Shining new black worktops and sleek white cupboards and the single most beautiful oven you had ever seen awaited me and I couldn’t wait. Cooking the bacon, however, was more of a task than I thought. I tried so hard to keep everything neat, but somehow fat and grease was already on the black tiles behind the stove, completely typical of me and, of course, I over cooked. I put some bacon sandwiches in a box and started to head out. My mum and dad owned a farm on which they have built several houses, where other parts of my never-ending family live. My brother lives in a converted barn across the yard and my sister lives in the big house attached to my flat. The flat is one of two, the other of which my mum and dad live in. They were at the top and I was at the bottom. I climbed up the stairs that lead to my mum and dads and open the door. “Mum!” I called “I cooked bacon!” their place was so much like the old house except for the falling walls and unfinished projects but they still had all the old nick knacks that make a home a home, my dad owned these little statues of Indians and John Wayne photos that he absolutely insisted got put on full display for everyone to see; they stuck with neutral colours throughout apart from my mums realm, the kitchen ,which, of course, was the brightest purple imaginable. It was such a contrast to how I designed my flat. My flat was colourful and modern with so much space and air that I could host a concert, but mum and dad liked things a bit more homely and conservative. “Oh goodie your, dads just bringing some bails back from along the track, he’s had to fasten them on the back as the trailers been a bit wavy lately but he shouldn’t be long” she exclaimed heading over to me with her voluptuous frame and bouncy black hair following in her wake and then as if on que I heard the trailer come into the yard “okay well here’s yours and I’ll go give him his so he doesn’t have to stop” I say heading for the door. I headed to the top of the yard so that he is able to see me and started waving the sand which box in the air. I could tell the moment he saw his face lit up as if he already knew what was in store. Bacon was his favourite. He parked up and clambered out of the tractor. “wow I can smell that from down here!” he shouted “well I made it for you so come and get it!” I replied, “I’ll be right there I’m just gonna take the straps off the bails so I don’t have to do it later, don’t move I want that sand which!” he said quickly “ha-ha okay I’ll be here”. He started unstrapping the bails from the front of the trailer first and headed to the back he untied the straps quickly, too quickly and without looking to see if the bails were secure before he looked towards me without realising what he had done, I stood there unable to move. un flinching as the bails began to sway and roll back towards him towards my unsuspecting father, the bacon sand which dropped from my hands as I attempted to scream then try to move but before I could It was too late the bails had fallen back onto him, there was nothing I could do, I stood there for a second not believing what had just happened, wondering if there was any way I could have mistaken what I’d seen; but I could think of none… My mother, who must’ve been watching everything from her window, ran from the house down the stairs towards my dad, screaming and crying, her beautiful face consorted and inconsolable, just trying to get to him but not being able to move the hefty bails. She dropped to her knees in defeat and pulled out her phone. She must off called for help but I could no longer hear anything except for a strained buzzing noise coming from all around, I couldn’t even feel, I was numb and couldn’t move from that spot. Mattie ran from the flat trying to get a grasp on the situation. As soon as he realised what was happening, he ran to my sister’s house, she herself then came running out towards my mother crying and, flailing her arms. Mattie came to stand in front of me, I could feel the hot tears still streaming down my face. I must have looked bad because he started crying too. I could see his heart breaking for me but I felt nothing. I could see him trying to talk to me to get something from me but all I was able to do was look through him, I felt his hands on my arms shaking me to come too, but nothing happened. For a while all he seemed to do was stare into my unblinking eyes as though somehow he could reach inside and show me the way out himself. It felt like years before I could finally hear the sound of sirens and the flashing lights whizzing down the track that leads to our farm, I was finally coming back, finally getting what was happening processed. I dropped to my knees. stones cutting and scratching into my legs but I still couldn’t feel my own body. I could barely remember to breathe, Mattie sat down beside me and pulled me into his lap, holding me tighter as every second went by as though he needed me to be alright, as though he needed me to really be there and he was right I knew somewhere deep down that I had to move and to get up and pull my still sobbing mother and sister away from it all, but my body no longer responded to my brain, it was as though they were no longer connected, Mattie must of sensed me falling deeper as I suddenly felt a rush of air around me, I was moving but in the direction of the flashing lights, I heard murmurs all around me and a blanket was placed over me, I saw the world in slow motion like it was all a movie I could stop, pause and rewind, it was unnerving and something I could no longer deal with. So, I tried, I put all my remaining energy and power into moving and a while later I began to gain control again I knew what had happened and I couldn’t bear it anymore. I stood on shaky legs and started to walk away from the lights and away from the mess. Mattie grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes. “ You okay?” he asked solemnly. “Bed” was all I could reply and before I knew it he had swept me off in his arms and placed me in my bed. I lay in bed all day, staring at nothingness, just waiting for the warm embrace of a black-out sleep. The morning after was worse. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Mattie came in and tried to get me to communicate but I just couldn’t. He filled me in on what had happened the rest of that day. They took my father away and cleared up the yard, making it as though it had never happened. He also told me that my family were all getting together the evening after next to discuss what was happening next, but we all had today and tomorrow to process and be alone. He came back several times throughout the day to check on me but I was still there unmoving just like when it happened. I couldn’t pull myself from the image, my father was dead and I had watched it all. The next 2 days were a blur of sleeping and Mattie’s hopeful visits.