taming the beast

qThe Rejection The bathroom mirror never lied even as many times as I wished it would. I stared at my reflection-my round face, how my cheeks puffed out even when I wasn't smiling and how a second chin would always appear no matter the angle of my face. I filled the mirror from top to bottom, curves overlapping curves and thick arms that shook even when I wasn't moving, my thighs rubbed when I walked and my hips pushed up against the counter. Size twenty-two, the tag said. Daemon said it every day. "Luna," My wolf whispered the title in my head but it sounded like a joke. What kind of Luna looked like me? I pressed my hands to the cool porcelain sink to stop the trembling. Tonight was the Moon Ceremony and tonight I would be blessed with the Goddess before the entire Shadowfang Pack. I should have been happy. I should have been in the Luna suite getting ready with her attendants and dressed in something lovely. I was hiding in a tiny omega quarters bathroom wearing a shapeless black thing that I had sewn myself because nothing in the pack boutiques came in my size. "Get your fat ass out of the way, Vera!" Someone yelled from the hallway. "Some of us actually need to piss!" I jumped and then grabbed my bag and slipped out. There were three she wolves in the hallway all thin and wearing their tight dresses, the look they gave me was one that everyone always gave me. They were looking at me with pity and disgust, a mixture, it looked like they couldn't believe that I had trapped an Alpha. I hadn't trapped him; we were true mates and the bond had clicked into place six months ago on my eighteenth birthday. It felt like lightning striking in my chest, and when Daemon's eyes had met mine on the training grounds across the way I had known he had felt it too.For one glorious minute, I thought things were finally going to change. They did. But not like I ever thought. The pack house was in an uproar when I walked through the halls. Everyone seemed busy setting things up for tonight-hanging white flowers, laying out tables, setting up candles. The Moon Ceremony was very sacred and is celebrated by mates blessed by the goddess herself. "There you are." Daemon's voice cut through the air and I flinched when it did. Six months into the bond and I still reacted like the very first time-heat flushing my veins and my wolf surging forward in eager anticipation. He stood at the end of the hall in a black suit that molded itself perfectly to his broad shoulders and lean form. His black hair was sleeked back and his jawline sharp and clean. He looked like a perfect Alpha should. Powerful and handsome. And he was mine. My mate. "Daemon." I smiled and moved towards him. "I was just getting ready-" "We need to talk." His face was stone, cold and unforgiving. A strange twist of uneasiness formed in my stomach. "What's wrong?" He grabbed my arm so hard his fingers dug in and left bruises and dragged me into a storage room off to the side of the hall. The door slammed shut behind me, muffling the happy sounds outside. "God, you disgust me!" The words burst from him like they'd been held inside for months-maybe they had. "Is the Moon Goddess out of her mind binding us together?" I stumbled backwards until my back hit the wall. "What-what are you-" "Just look at you!" He threw his hands up and gestured wildly at me. His face twisted in pure loathing. "Oh, I beg you, look in the mirror! You're two sizes too big for a Luna, how do I present you to the world? How can I-" He stopped and his jaw tightened. "I can't stand the sight of you. I want to vomit." Every single word was like a knife to my gut, twisted over and over again. My wolf let out a howl of agony inside my body and fought to push its way out of me and back to him, fix whatever was wrong. This was the bond-this horrific, magnificent, torturous bond that made me love him so much while he utterly destroys me. "I've been trying." Tears were already streaming down my face. "I've been on a diet, I've been training-" "Not hard enough!" He roared and I flinched. "It's been six months, Vera. Six months, and you still look like you started in! Do you have any idea what the other packs say? They laugh at me, Vera. They say, 'Alpha Daemon and his whale Luna.' A WHALE, Vera!" My legs threatened to give out beneath me. I'd heard the whispers and seen the stares. But from him-from my mate-it was like a shard of ice had pierced my heart. "I'm trying." I sobbed. "I swear I'm trying. Please, Daemon, please don't-" "I'm humiliating you." His voice dropped into a sickeningly cruel tone. "Maybe that will make you get off your rear and change." "What do you mean?" His smile sent shivers down my spine. "You'll see. Come on." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the storage closet, my wolf whimpering against the bond with confusion at his behavior. Mates weren't supposed to treat their fated like this. The bond was meant to be sacred. We stumbled back into the main hall. The room was immaculate-thousands of white flowers, countless candles, the most sacred room in the pack house transformed into a fantasy. They were all gathered and all turned as Daemon yanked me out in front of them. Standing at the altar, there they were. Five she-wolves, all of them perfectly beautiful-tall, slender, perfect. Their dresses clung to their bodies like second skins, tracing every curve and line. They all smiled up at Daemon as if they were a secret he shared with them alone. My stomach plummeted. "What is going on?" I asked, even though I already knew. Deep down, I knew. He let go of my wrist and walked towards them. The pack was deathly silent. Mother was in the back and looked incredibly pale when our eyes met. She shook her head slightly, a wordless warning. "Since you will not change," he announced, his voice ringing throughout the hall, "I have decided to introduce you to the look of a proper Luna.”He got to the first she-wolf-liora daughter of a warrior with legs for days. He pulls her into his arms and kisses her. The pack gasps, but no one moves. No one stops him. The bond screams inside me, tearing my chest. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. He moves on to the second she-wolf. Then the third. Each kiss was meant to hurt me as much as possible. Each kiss was calculated and it worked. My wolf screamed inside me, thrashing as our mate touched the other females. "Stop," I whispered, but no one heard me. The fourth she-wolf moaned when he kissed her neck. The fifth giggled when he took her waist. "STOP!" I screamed it, my voice cracking. Daemon looked at me, his eyes cold. "Maybe you understand now, Vera. Look at them. Look at what a Luna should be." He wasn't done. "Let's go somewhere private," he says to liora loud enough for the whole pack to hear. They disappear through a side door. Then he came back for the second she-wolf. Then the third. I stood there frozen as my mate proceeded to take five females into a private room to have s*x with them. They all knew what they were doing. They were torturing me. The pack watches me like I'm a spectacle in an entertainment show. The private room door was open. I could hear everything; the taking off of clothes, skin against skin, their pleas of pleasure, which should have been mine. My wolf screams, trying to break out of my body to stop it but it cannot. I couldn't move. I just had to stand there, listen, and watch Daemon have s*x with five different females as my pack watches my humiliation. I don't even know how long I was in there. Minutes could have been hours. Each moaning cry was another chip taken from my already fractured heart. Someone laughs. They whisper. My mother was crying behind her hands. Finally the moaning stopped. Daemon emerged, his shirt untucked and hair disheveled. The five she-wolves emerged too, with satisfied smirks on their faces, which means they helped him do this. I collapsed to my knees, not remembering falling down. Every fiber of my being trembled with sobs, the bond aching with pure agony. The bond was burning me from the inside out, our pain intertwining to become one horrible inferno. Daemon approaches me and for a brief, foolish moment I thought he was going to say sorry. That he would finally kneel down at my feet and beg for forgiveness. But he doesn't. He looked down at me with sheer disgust. "I reject you!" He bellowed through the sacred hall, the hall of celebrations, the hall of happiness, the hall of blessings. "I will never accept you as my mate and Luna. You are banished! Get out of my pack. NOW!" The rejection hits me like a physical blow. The bond doesn't just break it explodes and shatters whatever was inside of me. My wolf howls with such anguish it tore through my mind like knives, she starts pulling away from me, retreating further and further inside until I couldn't reach her. This is death. This had to be death. No one could hurt that much and live. But I was alive, my heart was beating, my lungs still breathed air, and my body refused to die despite hating myself as much as he hated me. "Please," I gasp, reaching for him, even though he ruined me. Even though he broke me. "Daemon, please don't do this. I'll change, I promise. I'll be better. I'll..." "GET. OUT." He said, slowly and clearly, as if talking to a baby. Guards grabbed my arms and practically dragged me out of the hall. The pack moved out of the way and watched my shame as I was dragged out by their judging faces, their faces of pity, their faces of disgust and their relief. "Mom!" I cried, but she turned her face away, she couldn't help me. No one could. They threw me out of the front gates, my body crashing to the gravel, scraping my hands, tearing my dress. Behind me the gates slammed shut with a sound that reverberated through my bones. I am pack-less, mateless, alone. The forest loomed before me, dark and foreboding. The sun had set and I had nowhere to go, no supplies, no money, nothing but the clothes on my back, and a heart that just refused to die. I force myself onto unsteady legs. I have to move. I have to survive. I want to die but I don't. As I stumble into the woods I hear my wolf for the first time since being rejected, not howling, not screaming, but whispering over and over again: Run. And I run.