JINX

EPISODE 5

|Thursday, 9th of January

Happiness.

All I wanted is to be genuinely happy and yes, free to do whatever I like in this world that is being stained by unwanted colors. But as this world gets more and more messy, the more they start to tighten their grip on our necks, until you give up and just.... die. And it could be any one of us at this moment.

And on my situation, I guess I'll never be able to be happy again. I may have forgotten what it felt like to be happy now. I couldn't seem to count the days since I emotionally forgot about felicity until I just want to give up this hope that ill ever feel happiness again.

Then came the guy I expected... The man perhaps.. Well, that man is who made my mom fell into his arms and call her, his. The guy who'll be with my mom's side through thick and thin... and the guy who would replace my dads place, who'll probably do these "dad stuff" soon with me even if I don't need babysitting anymore and I thought, I'd be the happiest kid ever. To have another dad? That I'll have to brag two dads but I had this feeling of not accepting this happiness because this new chapters ahead felt like a murderer, ready to attack my reality... The reality of having him my dad as a replacement of my original dad.. I don't know why..

Mom wanted me to be happy for them that is why I'll always give her a good smile to pull the act, telling myself...No. I tried convincing myself that I am happy for them. But, is that smile, the assurance of true joy? No.... because we can fake smiles, we can fake laughter, and we can even fake tears now.

But i know to myself what I felt.

And I'm scared.

I'm scared to admit that I needed to be happy even if it hurts me.

I'm scared to even smile again and feel this sh*t because as what they say, "happiness comes sadness" and I don't want to be scared and sad any longer. It is too much for me and i don't know how long can I ever endure it.

I don't know. And I'm scared.

Pleade help me.

Sincerely,

Miguel

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As soon as Miguel had reached his destination, he swipes the blue card for his fare and enters their house. Luckily he entered slowly because as soon as he stepped inside, the voice that irritates him got into his ears immediately.

They are flirting. He said to himself. He could hear laughter from the kitchen that made him decide to run upstairs and lock himself up but halts immediately after hearing his own name.

"How about Miguel? Do you think he'll ever like me?" Carlo ask. His blood starts to boil making him want to go there and tell him to shut up but instead, he didn't move. He just stood there, waiting for her to answer.

"Just give him some time, Carlo. He'll realize one day, that he needs a father-"

He couldn't bear listening to them that made him run through the stairs, leading himself to his room and locking his door delicately to not attract both of their attentions and not ruining their romantic moment. She threw his bag onto his study table and not bothering to remove his school uniform, he flops into his bed, looking into his empty ceiling. He sighed as he could feel the urging tears from the side of his eyes. And in just a blink, it fell.

"F*ck." He hissed under his breath as he wiped it with his own palm, feeling the loneliness again.

When dad left, I needed someone. Turns out that you're already too late for me to be needing you.

.

.

Right at the dinner table, he stayed quiet as he let his mother and Carlo chat. It irritates him a lot but he only wanted one thing and that is to stuff his stomach and nothing else. He didn't take a single rest to chew his food, he even fastens his pace eating, wanting to finish dinner as early as possible to not deal with his soon step dad any longer.

"Miguel?" his mom called her but he didn't budge his head to face his own mother. He only stared at his food.

"Miguel."

"Hmm?" He asks, still looking directly on his plate.

"You might choke. Take time eating because the food won't be running anywhere."

"Hmm." He said again, still eating. As soon as he's done with the last spoonful of vegetables, he drinks his water until it is empty. He places it down and wipes his lips before giving his mom a smile.

"I'm done. I'm going up now. Bye-"

"We need to talk to you about something." He stopped rushing through the stairs as he made sure he heard it right. They needed to talk to him and it scares him.

"Can you come back and sit here so we could talk properly?" His mom asked. "If you're so much in a hurry, do not worry. This will probably take a minute." He loves his mother so much and it would make him feel guilty if he denies his mom, that I'd why he took a seat, intertwining his own fingers, lying into the table.

"What is it?" He asks. No, this couldn't be what I was thinking-

Her mom slid her hand in front of him, next into his hands as his eyes widen.

"Its-"

"He proposed to me the day we had a date and-"

No. This can't be.

"Tell me this is a joke, mom." He expected she'd laugh and say it is a joke but she just gave her a smile... A smile he never saw after his father left them in this world, forever.

"Honey-"

"You want me to accept this!? What about dad? What about the vow you've made!?"

"Your father is dead, Miguel."

"D-didn't you love him?"

"Of course I loved him!"

"Loved!?" He stood up as he steps back, looking back and forth to both of them.

"Miguel-"

"Go and marry him, you have my consent! But don't ever expect me at your wedding! I hate you!" She shouted as he runs through the stairs, locking himself in his room once again.

He could just accept it and be happy for his mom but what about him? He felt that once his mother remarries, he'll be the only one grieving. He is in deep sadness to admit that he never moved on and now, his mother decided to be happy now and marry Carlo who he felt a bad mad for them?

The world is so f*cking unfair.

He well-search into his stuff, hoping that he could find what he wanted to see. His drawers, cabinets, bag, even his bedside drawer.

Atlas! He said to himself as he found what he's been looking for. He took it out as the blade shines from the lampshade. It's still sharp!

He sits on his bed as he looks on his wrist, feeling his heart beating so fast. He's not a fan of suicide be he swore to himself that when the moment comes for his mom to talk about remarrying, he'll rather kill himself than stay with a new dad. He is selfish.

He took a deep breath as he gulps his own saliva, putting the blade above his wrist, not more than an inch above. He closes his eyes as he convinces himself to do it, but before he could do, he starts hearing screams coming from downstairs. The clanging of utensils, banging of objects, muffled screams, and punching can be heard. But he wasn't sure of what is happening.

He stood up as he slowly approaches his door, trying to figure out what's happening without opening the door.

"Miguel Run!!!" His eyes widen as he steps back. That's Carlo's voice! But, why is he telling me to run? Where's mom?

"MIGUEL RUN!!!" he starts to panic as he could hear rushing steps approaching his room. He stops as he could see shoe shadows down to his door.

Luckily enough his window had an emergency ladder, in case of fire or something terrible. He gulps as they start banging his door, telling him to open it.

I have to get out.

He grabs his diary book and phone in his bag as he sneakily goes out of the window. As soon as he is down, he was about to run when someone saw him.

"He's trying to escape!" His eyes widen as he started running, not daring to look back. He started clicking any number from his phone, hoping someone would pick up.

Nor Kyle didn't pick up. He started dialing made up numbers and push it in his ears, relieve that it started ringing.

Pick up, pick up, pick up!!! He prayed to himself as he looks back, surprised to see three men chasing him. As he's about to turn, he could feel himself flying, a few feet off the ground. The collision made his body ache, as he landed painfully on the ground, rolling his way off.

"Get him... NOW!”