JINX

EPISODE 4

|Wednesday, 8th of January

Easy to say, hard to earn but easy to give. Sound a bit weird for some, right? Well if you ask me, this is how I define the word “TRUST”.

I don’t know why trust is hard to earn but the moment you fell for that person, you immediately give the trust that you’ve once said that he or she needs to earn first. Maybe, that’s just the cycle of getting your heartbeat as fast at it could get just by staring at someone’s reflection.

Maybe that’s how love works.

To be honest, I hate trust. Why? Because I know that you’ve let your guard down the moment you give that to someone you barely know. And that, you lose. And it is indeed hard to take it back because you feel guilty with your actions, asking yourself, “why did I even give him/her that trust in the very first moment?” That, my friend, is what’s happening right now.

Am I an easy-to-get type of person now? Maybe I’m just so stupid to trust someone whose face is so angelic. Maybe I’m just too judgmental to think that the pretty ones are the only good persons in this cruel world. Because like I said, if you’re not pretty, you lose.

Tell me, how do you define UGLY when we’ve learned in school that WE ARE ALL EQUAL?... Oh right, I thought I haven’t learned anything good in school then… And I guess, all the positivity that lies beneath the pages of learning material is a lie. Why? To educate us that we need to trust ourselves and not to rely on what people say? To be as confident as the others and be proud of our flaws because these flaws are what makes us stand out and be a uniquely beautiful individual? What about the heart?

What if I tell you that these flaws make us pretty ugly and imperfect because flaws are the sign of being a perfectly imperfect human being? To me, flaws don’t make us more beautiful than others, they don’t make us stand out, they’re not an advantage! It snatched the self-confidence and clothe us with a branded apparel named low self-esteem.

You know what? F*ck school, F*ck standards, and f*ck trust!

And I almost forgot,

F*CK LOVE!

Sincerely,

Miguel

▪︎▪︎▪︎

He still couldn't believe himself for almost falling for Kyle's own words! Men are men for sure but, he claims himself a man only by my physique and nothing else! He is fragile as well.

"You stupid Miguel! Don't ever fall for that again because if you do..." he pauses as he could feel sadness once more. For that time, he joked around, he admits that he somewhat felt a bit happier, like he's been able to forget what life has been offering him.

"It'll never happen. Again." He took a deep breath as he washes his hands on the basin, pulling a napkin and drying it off, throwing the sheet on the trash bin. As soon as he's done, he twists the knob, opening it widely, surprised to see a man in a suit already had taken his seat, talking seriously with Kyle. He intently read Kyle's expression and he could tell that Kyle is as well in the edge of uncertainty to even talk with the guy.

Or was he right?

"Kyle!" He called out, making the two guys look at him. He gulps as he could feel his heart throbbing faster. He gave the guy a look before returning his glance at Kyle. "Who is he?"

Kyle didn't respond for the second. He knew something was up.

"I'm Valentine. So, I'm guessing you're Kyle's friend?"

"Are you?" He asks. Valentine responded with a chuckle as he stood up, fixing his black coat.

"So, you're Miguel? A pleasure to meet you." He said as he reaches out for his hand for a shake. He stares at it for the longest time before he decided to shake it back.

"I'm not staying long for I have something important to attend to. Kyle, it's been nice to meet you again, and I hope we'll see each other again... Well, if destiny permits."

The guy soon disappeared from his vision, sighing in relief and taking his seat.

"Who is that guy?"

"He's my father's best friend."

"And what does he do?"

Kyle didn't respond immediately, as if he's trying to find words to answer her. He gulps as he could feel something is indeed off with him already. To cut the silence off, he decided to look at his watch and start acting.

"Oh shoot, it's getting late. I guess I have to go now, Kyle."

"But, isn't it too early to go home now-"

"It is never too early for me to go home. If you always go home by nightfall, then I'm not. So, I'm going now." He stood up as he carries his bag, looking at him directly.

"I'm going-"

"Wait!" He stopped as Kyle grip onto his wrist. He looks at him with irritation and impatience. "What!?"

"Why are you so suddenly mad? Did something happen inside the bathroom?" He pulls his hand from his grip as he raises a brow at him.

"Nothing happened. I just need to go home, and I don't need your opinion on what time I decide to go home."

"But I am your friend-"

"We've only met for less than a day. And that counts you as an unfamiliar individual to me. Were still strangers to each other. And A FRIEND doesn't lie to each other... Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go now."

"Okay... but if you need someone, I'll be here for you." Miguel gave him a fake smile as he turns around, feeling his thumping heart had increased its pace. He run-walk through the door as he hailed a cab that instant, turning to see if Kyle has got out to just look at him and make sure he's safe.

But no Kyle seems to be standing from that expected area. He sits back as he calms himself, massaging the skin where the heart lies from the inside. The uncertainty had grown bigger to not trust Kyle, but he knew something good inside of him. He may have started liking the man, but he can never be so sure about anything and anyone.

Because you can never judge the book by its cover.