THE UNLOVED

CHAPTER FIVE

Napahikbi si Queen sa kanyang narinig mula kay Damien. She knew from the very beginning that Damien treats her like a younger sibling and nothing more. A couple of times he said that he cannot love me more than a sister. At tuwina, masakit sa pakiramdam. It hurts to know that the first person I have learned to love will be the same person to break me into pieces. Because somehow, she is thinking that Damien would eventually realize that she is the one for him. But I was so wrong thinking about it. Damien will never like me as a woman. I will never be enough for him.

“So, you like her more than me?! I’ve been there for you since day one. Why are you like that Damien? You’re hurting me. You always do that. Why can't you like me back?” Gigil na tanong ko kay Damien. I am referring to the girl in the condo. I cannot accept the fact that he wanted a girl like that.

Napabuntong hininga si Damien sa sinabi ko at humarap na muli sa akin habang ang mga kamay ay nakapaloob sa bulsa ng pantalon nito.

"Yes Queen, I know. We grew up together and we've been together and I know you too well from head to foot. And if slapping you the truth will wake you up from your stubbornness, then so be it. Yes, Dance is my kind of girl. I find her hot and maybe we can be in a relationship if given a chance. Are you happy now?"

Nagulat siya sa sinabi ko. Queen’s emotions can be easily seen on her facial expressions. Basang-basa ko rin ang emosyong nakalaloob sa kanyang mga mata.

“Are you kidding me?” Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko rito. I calculated my edge points from that Dance girl.

"I'm telling you the truth, Queen. And it:s your turn to believe me." Balewalang sagot ko rito. I want her to know that I am not a perfect gentleman.

"How about me? Paano na ako?" Naiiyak na niyang tanong sa akin. This my dilemma whenever we are in a situation like this.

"How about you? You're Queen. Who can beat you? You will hold a special place in my heart." She will always have that place in my heart. Para na kaming pamilya kaya hinding-hindi siya mawawalan ng puwang sa puso ko.

"You are a sister I never had, always remember that."

"But Damien..." Umayos ito ng upo sa kama. I walk towards her and sat on the other side of her bed.

"Nag-usap na tayo, Queen. Please accept it. I am not the one for you. There is someone much worthy for you. Not because I care so much about you, we can be together. It doesn't work like that."

"I know and I love you." And there she goes again, confessing her love for me.

"Love is a very strong word with so many definitions. Yes, I love you too sweety. Believe me, I love you. I see myself growing old with you. But I am not seeing myself of marrying my sister." Bahagyang natawa si Damien sa huling sinabi nito.

"Why can't you believe my love for you?" Puno ng hinanakit na tanong nito sa akin. At the back of my mind, I believe her. But I will not risk whatever we have right now.

"Because you don't mean it. I know! You love me the way you love your twin brother. Let's not complicate things between us Queen."

"Fine. But for the last time, I just want to know who am I in your life?" Matapang niyang tanong sa akin.

"I told you already, you are one of those important persons in my life. You are like a sister to me. You and King are my best friends. Kayo na ang pamilya ko, alam mo naman yun di ba?" It's true. We are almost family. Almost.

"Don't you find me attractive like the girl in your condo Not even once? Yun hindi pangkapatid lang o bestfriend?" Tanong nito kapagkuwan. I wanted to answer her question pero parang may pumipigil sa akin na gawin iyon.

"Kasi ako, ikaw yung pinangarap kong makasama sa habang buhay. Ikaw yun lalaking gusto kong mag-antay sa akin sa harap ng altar." Oh, that line again. Palagi nalang ganito. "But I guess, you are right. It is not you that meant for me."

Tuwina kapag naririnig ko ang linyahan niyang ganyan, natatawa nalang ako. Natatawa ako kasi wala akong magawa para remedyuhan ang nasasaktan nitong puso. And what's hurts most it's because of me.

"Enough. I told you, you'll get over with that feelings, sweetheart." Naiiyak na ito habang nakatingin sa akin.

"Sinasabi mo lang yan kasi hindi ikaw ang nasasaktan. Ikaw ang nanakit sa akin. Paano pala kung hindi makapag-move on sayo? What if you're really, really my first and last eternal love? Na hindi lang ito dahil laging ikaw nalang ang kasama ko." At nagsimula ng pumatak ang luha sa mga mata nito.

"I don't want you to regret when time comes and you realize that it's not me you wanted. Life is a long journey, honey. You'll meet someone more ideal than me. Let's stop things that will complicate between us. Hindi ako ang para sayo. May mas karapat-dapat pa para sayo." Hinalikan ko siya sa nuo. She deserves respect and love. And I am afraid that I cannot give it her.

I know she will understand me in the future. And I really hope her to find someone like his father, not like me. Someone she can be proud of. Not a bastard like me.

"Okay, Damien...I'll try to make ammends with my feelings for you. I will unlove you from now on. But can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything...Just tell me." I answered back.

"For now, sana habang wala pa yung ideal man na sinasabi mo na darating para sa akin. Can you atleast give me a chance to show you how much I care for you. Promise I won't nag. I will not demand. I will not complicate things between us just like what you wanted. I promise. And by any chance you already found someone, I'll let you go. Just let me stay in your life and be your...best friend. That's all I wanna ask from you." I saw sadness in her eyes. She doesn't need to beg. I am more than willing to let her stay in my life. Kahit tumanda na kami pareho. Kahit na magka-pamilya na ito. I would still want her to be with me.

Hindi ko maunawaan ang sarili ko. May masakit sa loob ng dibdib ko.

"Bestfriend...Of course, of course. We are alredy best of friends since we are young , nothing's will change." I smiled back.

"That's our label now, best of friends forever." Tumatawa habang naiiyak.

She seemed sarcastic so I pulled her to hug but she refused.

"Don't hug me right now. Remember, it's you who hurt me." Yeah, I hurt her and I want to punch my face for that.

Pagak akong tumawa. "But I am your bestfriend, I need to comfort you."

"I can manage, Damien. Just wait until I get over you." Pilit ang ngiti nito habang nagsasalita.

I wanted to wipe the tears in her eyes but I restricted myself in doing so. Ayoko na mas lalo siyang magalit sa akin.

This is what you wanted, man! At last you convinced her to unlove you. Bulyaw ng isip ko sa akin.

"You can leave me for now, Damien. I just want to rest." Humiga ito at muling tumalikod sa akin.

"Eat your food first before sleeping." I tried to remind her because I am worried na baka malipasan siya ng gutom.

"I can manage, Damien. Just leave!" Queen wanted to commend herself right now. She was able to restrain herself from Damien's sweet gestures.

Good job, man! I salute you! Anang utak ni Damien.

At long last, hindi na niya ako kukulitin tungkol sa feelings niya para sa akin. Kasi may label na kami, best of friends.

Pero bakit parang pinipilipit ang puso ko? My heart stings! I hope I can bear it.