Cherishing You

Chapter 4-2

True to his word, Jeff vacated his home for the day. His housekeeper remained, but she kept herself busy scrubbing bathrooms. On more than one occasion, she reminded everyone, “I’m here to cook and clean and see to the house. I’m not a nanny.” I didn’t expect the stout older woman to interfere.

I kept with my lunch and a movie idea but did it in house with pizza and a classic Pixar movie, Monsters, Inc. Olivia delighted at the adventures of Sully and Boo.

When it was over, we dove into the game room closet and pulled out a set of Uno cards. I had just drawn four cards, prompting a cackle of glee from Olivia, when she asked me a question.

“Daddy said that you have a new apartment. When can I go see it?”

“I’m not sure. I’m still getting things ready, and I don’t have your room set up yet.” That was true enough. I bought a mattress and box spring, but the bed hadn’t been delivered, and I didn’t have a dresser or any other furniture for Olivia yet.

Knowing we weren’t going to have overnight visits for a while, I chose to spread out the expense of outfitting the spare room. I also gotten my landlord’s permission to change the walls from sterile white to something more kid-friendly as long as it wasn’t too dark.

Yellow might be good. Jeff gave me the bedding Olivia had at the old house, which had since been replaced with new decor. A nice, sunny yellow would match perfectly. My days off were few, and I hadn’t done all that I wanted in my new place. I also had plans to paint my own bedroom.

“I could help. I miss your old place. I liked going to the pool and seeing other kids,” Olivia said.

I did not miss the old apartment. However, on the few occasions Jeff brought Olivia over, she enjoyed playing in the complex pool with other kids her age. I would have to see if there was a city pool near the new place. Maybe we could make it there before the weather got too cold.

Looking at the cards in front of me, I mulled my options. I needed a blue card, which I didn’t have. I had the wicked draw four card, but not the heart to play it, so I drew five more cards, searching for a blue one.

Making things easier for Olivia probably didn’t do her any good. I considered playing the card I had and not letting Olivia win, but indulgence won out.

My daughter’s life was astoundingly privileged in many ways. Losing a card game wouldn’t faze her. Coming back into Olivia’s life, I watched as she held herself with confidence and assurance. Never for a moment did Olivia doubt that she was loved. That was Jeff. Sometimes, I felt like I should bow down to him. He’d done such a good job as a father.

Olivia, unlike me, had no problem annihilating her opponent. A colorful series of skips, draw two’s, and reverses later, the girl squealed.

“Uno!”

Still holding a draw four, I played my yellow card and watched as Olivia threw down her yellow card and bounced in victory.

“Wow. You played your cards in the perfect order. You are such a good player,” I said.

“Thank you! Thank you!” Olivia stood up and bowed.

“You ready to order some pizza?”

“Yes, and then I can show you this cool game I play. It’s on my dad’s iPad.”

“Okay, you get it, and I’ll order the pizza. Plain cheese, right?”

“Yes.”

I dialed the pizza place around the corner from Jeff’s house. A few minutes later, Olivia came back into the game room.

“What’s this game you want to show me?” I asked.

“It’s all about dinosaurs. You can look at fossils and stuff, but I can’t get it. Dad’s room is locked. It’s never locked.”

I kept my smile pasted on. They didn’t want me stealing the silver. I had taken things from the house before, like an i***t. Now, they felt the need to lock up the valuables before I came over. I understood. I didn’t blame them, but it still hurt. The locked door was yet another reminder of how far I had to go to regain people’s trust.

I’m a good person. I looked at the little munchkin who had forgotten her iPad game and instead pulled a puzzle out of a drawer.

“Let’s do this while we eat.” Olivia’s blue eyes were wide and full of adventure.

If I could give birth to such an amazing girl, I had it in me to be amazing. One day, those around me wouldn’t feel the need to guard themselves against me.