Chapter Three- The "Talk"
886 Words
Somehow, I didn't seem angry at him at all. But I am never able to hold a grudge long. My niceness gets in the way. That's why people always hurt me.
Leo's eyes gleam when he speaks because his voice is always so low, so subtle like he's afraid of tipping over my vase. Meaning, "Saying the wrong thing."
"I really didn't think you were going to be the one they were going to pick for those questions," Leo says tucking his thumbs into his khaki pants pockets.
I just shrugged, not really able to say much but, "It's fine," with a tart laugh at the end which made it sort of awkward.
He moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue before saying, "We would really like it if you came to the party." he mentions, "I can't take back our past, but I'm sure you would have a good time."
He smiles. So innocent.
I looked into his eyes, trying to uncover his lies in that sentence. This isn't his first time doing that to me.
"I'll think about it. Maybe I'll come." I say not really sure yet.
I can feel myself getting nauseated or maybe that's the cafeteria tater tots?
He smiles again, "Alright then, hope to see you there."
Then he just walks off. His feet not making a sound against the tile as if he's a ghost. A spirit. A demon.
When school was over, I was lonely. Having to drive home alone, not hearing a word from Sam. Not even a text message which is really odd.
Besides that I’m also thinking about Leo.
How could I ever speak to him so normally ever again after 9th grade? I wanted to just squeeze him and fall into his arms forgiving him even though he has never really apologized, and not that he ever would.
I hate to think about it, but it makes me. . . aroused? Disgusted? Wet.
- - -
It was at James Matthew's house.
It was our first party we ever went to in 9th grade. Besides all the couples making out and then having s*x on the living room couch; Leo and I had a pretty good time sharing drinks together.
I saw Leo was getting a little tipsy with our 4th cheap wine cooler and so was I. His words were noticeably getting slurred but he would try and shake it off.
We had met up with our mutual friends who were outside smoking a cigarette. We had spoken to them for a while and Leo whispered something into Natalie's ear, Leo’s old friend, and she smiled looking directly at me. I glared at Leo and everyone continued on to their conversations when Natalie whispered something right back into his. Leo said, "Thanks," and grabbed my sweaty hands and took us back into the loud house playing old trap music.
The smell of weed hit my nose when we walked upstairs and he took me into a dark room. I remember exactly what the room looked like with the expensive eggshell carpet and the queen size bed with the magenta sheets and black comforter. The room was still super dark and the window on the side of the bed slightly lit the room from the light coming from the moon.
I had my back turned when he locked the door and hugged me from behind.
He whispered gravely, "I’ve missed you," into my ear.
My eyes were getting blurry. I began to breathe fast and his hot breath hit my neck. I could smell the alcohol fuming from his breath and it sent chills down my spine.
"Kalie," Rolled off his tongue so slow to the point it made my n*****s erect.
My head fell back off his shoulder and his hands began to pull up my jean skirt and I yelled, "No!" and he stopped.
My stop sign was green.
I was frightened. Drunk and confused.
It was nothing like when we were in middle school.
He was different. I began to notice his s****l frustration which made him a person with two heads. I moved his hands from crawling up my skirt but he stubbornly kept going. He pushed me face down onto the soft bed that barely made a sound. I yelled for him to stop but the more he kept grinding himself against me, feeling how hard he was made me yearn more than groan.
I was finally able to kick him off of me, successfully hearing him fall onto the floor.
I wiped the tears from my eyes that hadn't fallen yet and grabbed my torn skirt on the floor and just left.
We hadn't spoken to each other since.
That night Leo taught me more about my body than I ever really could ever figure out by myself at dusk.
I finished cleaning my laundry and I heard my phone ringing in my pocket.
I took it out and saw it was Sam and quickly answered it.
"Hello? Jesus. Sam! You have been scaring me, where in the hell have you been?"
"Hello, Kalie...?" A voice said, "This is actually Sam's mom."
I go quiet, but she continues, "Sam is actually in the hospital...she-she tried to kill herself this morning."
- Writer
