Lightning From Within

Walking up to the set of double gray doors, this feeling of uneasiness comes over me.  Shaking myself internally I keep walking.  Spending my Senior year in a different school from all the people that mattered to me is something I really was dreading.  I cannot believe that I am going to the same school my mother did.  Opening one of the doors, I can almost see her and her bestie, my Aunt Leann, standing in the foyer like in so many stories she told me.  My mom all her five feet 3 inches of sun kissed skin, long deep brown hair and big brown eyes leaning into a locker.   While listening to Leann who was almost six-foot-tall then, long curly light brown hair, with rosy cheeks tell her about the latest crush of the week.  A smile creeping to my face as I make my way through the hall towards my homeroom/first class.  The halls are full of teens of so many assorted sizes and shapes, they all look almost like the school I left.  Almost like the same class mates that I grew up with my whole life before my mom moved us here after the BIG divorce.  But, yet not the same at all.                   Trying my best to not look too out of place. I keep my chin up and my eyes not on any certain person.  After what seems like forever I find room 147, homeroom.  Taking a few steps in the room I scan to find an empty seat.  Not really wanting the front and of course there are plenty.  Slowly walking toward the far side of the room to choose one when I just stop.  My body would not move, I did not want to take another step, almost like this pull that I needed to go back the way I came.  My body was not wanting to move forward, fighting myself to not turn around and go back out the door.  What felt like forever was only a few seconds and then there was a release. It was as if someone let go of me.   Nearly falling I caught myself and continued moving to the very first seat I could find.                 Trying to control the full body shaking, my arms go around myself as if to hold it together.  “What in the world was that?” thinking to myself, “Are my nerves really that shaken, that I freeze like that?”  I snap to when I hear everyone get quiet.  Feeling the self-conscious run throughout myself, I try to use my peripheral vison to see who was staring at me and my freak like show I just put on.  And then there were no one, not one soul looking at me.  Everyone was facing the door.  Being brave enough to look the same way, I notice the guy standing there.  Almost as tall as the door, this maculate species of a male, with his blonde hair, ice blue eyes, and chiseled bone structure made him seem unreal.  This God like boy was looking at me, and his face has so much anger as if I just killed his dog or something.  Slouch into my chair trying to hide from his glare, I cannot help to wonder what is wrong with this guy.  With each step that he took into the room, my heart beat became faster.  My breathing was rugged, I could feel the heat raising from my neck all up my face.  God boy gets to my chair, stops without taking his eyes off me, my emotions are all over the place.  Between, fear, anger, and excitement I don’t know what is going on.  The eyes that were staring into mine as if he was trying to read my mind almost searching for my soul.  He turns and walks down the aisle to a seat that just somehow becomes open.  Knowing that this unrealistic looking human is behind me, I start to go over everything that I did so far today.  Wondering if I somehow upset this guy, maybe I parked in his spot.  That’s it, I took the first open spot without a teacher assigned number on it this morning. Out of everything I did, that had to be the reason for his anger towards me.  Having an explanation of what it could be, I feel my shoulders relax.  And the excitement moves out of my body.  “Brynn McComas?  Is there a Brynn McComas here?” I become aware of the teacher has come into the room and has somehow gotten to my name in attendance.  “Here” I shout too loudly for a room of this size.  Giggles float up and around me knowing that yes, I have been noticed by everyone and made a scene now.  Clearing her throat, the teacher moves on to the next student.  “What a Joke” I hear without knowing where it came from and not wanting to turn around to find out.  Another hour and I will be out of this class and away from hopefully the only horrible experience for today.  The teacher stands up and she walks to the middle of the room, there is a paper in her hand.  You can hear moaning of non-pleasure coming from a few students.  Mrs. Rose starts walking around the room reading different titles of books.  Some that I knew but for most I have never even heard of before.  I am one to enjoy a good book but, only ones that are fiction and presses the normal a little if you know what I mean.  And these titles alone make me cringe knowing the brain cells I am going to lose making myself read these.  After the last title is read Mrs. Rose tells us, “Now that we all know what this class is going to consist of for the whole year, let’s get out our first book and turn to page 245 and start reading umm Allison, out loud and everyone will follow.”  This is going to be so hard to have this class first thing in the morning.  Mt. Dew is so going to be my friend this year.  Making my way through the once again crowded hall to find my fourth period class.  Hoping that it goes as smoothly as the last two have.  I realize that my right shoulder is hurting.  Its time I find my locker to put these books in before I fall over from being top heavy on one side.  I remember the secretary telling me that since I am a Senior my locker is in the foyer next to the gym.  Making the right turn out of the hall in to the large commons area, there is a lot of noise toward the middle of the room.  I continue down the right side to avoid all the kids pushing together to see whatever was going on.  Finally, locker 143, at least it’s a top locker I would not be able to hunch down below someone.  Getting my combination lock out of my back pack, opening it and hang it on the handle, I place all my books from my earlier class in.  “I always knew you would fall right on your face!” someone yelled.  Now I am intrigued, walking over to the crowd I start to make out that there are what looks like two separate groups making the first layer of the circle.  Each group seems to have similarities in their features.  But, both groups look totally different from each other.  One group seems as if they have a height advantage, with milky skin and slender body fames.  Each person carrying a different shade of hair and eye color.  The other group are more muscular, average height and weight but something is off with this group.  In my mother’s words, my woman intuition is going crazy right now.  In the middle of the group was the guy that I saw in homeroom and another.  This other guy was about the same height with more build to him.  Dark skin, dark hair broad shoulders is all I could tell from the back of him.  This guy had the relaxed stance.  The only way you knew that there really was a problem between the two of them were the fact of only having about three inches between their faces.  I slowly made my way closer.  Even though I feared what was going, or what could happen between these two teens, I did not even think about what could happen to myself if the God like boy saw me again.  The kids around the two groups become eager to see a fight of some kind.  And the boys were dead locked eye to eye.  There were movement to the right, of the boys.  This beautiful, long legged female stepped up past the boys and was staring at another girl of the other group.  This fearless girl, with her long blonde loose curly hair, bright blue eyes and wearing close to nothing.  In my old school if our shorts did not come to where our fingertips touched on our legs, then we were not permitted to come to school.  Let alone wearing a strapless halter top bearing our belly button ring.  For this girl to not only look like a model, God made it fair with her attitude being as ugly as it was.  She decided to pick on the smallest girl of the other group.  “Did you really wake up this morning, decide to wear that?” she spoke.  The smaller girl did not say a word or even move. “I mean really, what a waste.  With this so-called power they say you have, you’d think that you could at least try a little harder.”  Standing with the same posture as the guy up against the God like boy, she just smiled.  “What’s so funny?” asked the blonde.  “One of these days you might figure it out.” States the smaller one that could not be more than five and a half foot tall with red hair.  With an awkward look on her face the blonde had no response.  She walks up and gets in the smaller girl face.  Closer than the boys were to one another.  “Educate me on it then.” She states.  The smaller girl does nothing but, you can tell that she was getting nervous.  The slight shake that went through her told on herself.   I could feel myself getting upset now.  I’m all about handling differences, but this is not a sized up equally at all.  And I am always for the underdog.  Before I know it, my feet have moved and I am now out in the middle of the circle right next to the two girls and starring at the blonde.  “Excuse me? What do you think you are doing?” she asks me.  “More like I should be asking you that. “I replied as calmly as I could.  With this dumb look on her face she finally looks at me.  I take this moment to push the smaller girl away and slid in where she was.  Looking at this girl my blood is boiling and I don’t even know why. “It seems that you were giving this girl a tough time.” The girl didn’t say anything to me.  “Which doesn’t make any sense, for looking at you and what you choose to wear today.  I mean really, being half naked in high school.  What are you a p********e?” I say without even realizing what was coming out of my mouth.  Giggles and gasp are heard from everyone.  This got to the girl, her shoulders became tense.  She inhales while closing her eyes. When she opens them, she has the biggest smile on her face.  Making her snotty laugh, she says to the smaller girl, “Now you’ve got norms fighting your battles for you.  That’s a new low.”  I do not take my eyes off her, she turns and walks away.  As she passes the boys, her hand glides over the God like boy shoulders and he follows her.  Now, I notice the dark hair boy is looking at me.  I lock eyes with him for a moment but felt like ten minutes.  His eyes were so green.  Almost like a forest green but not really, it was a deeper color nothing I have ever seen before.  I felt the presence of someone to my right and there is the smaller girl.  Not really looking at me more at the dark hair boy, she almost whispers, “Thanks”.  As she turns the boy is gone and so are both other groups.  It seems everyone is now moved on to their classes.  I grip my back pack tighter and storm off to my next class.  As I walk into Algebra, I sat in the back roll.  I did not want to be messed with after that wildly unlike me encounter.  The rest of the students finished filling up the rows of desk, while I tried to breathe.  After a few minutes, the teacher calls us to order and we get down to business.  This will be a bird course for me, anything numbers comes very easy.  Miss Stafford started writing unusual types of equations on the chalk board, my mind wondered back to my outburst.  What made me take part in someone else battles?  I did not know this girl or any of them for that matter.  And why did it bother me for giant like girl to be all “Mean Girl” attitude?  Did I really say that to her? Who does she think she is?  Reliving these thoughts did not do too well for my mental state.  I felt my blood pressure rise, and my hands started to shake.  I stare at my hands opening and closing them to work out the nerves.  “Close your eyes and just breathe,” I thought.  Wait why did I do a guy voice there.  One totally unlike the normal voice in my head.  This makes my heart race even more.  Looking around I check to make sure not one of my classmates were speaking to me.  Nope, not one person even knew I existed.  I place my elbows on my desk and my head in my hands breathing.  Trying to just calm myself.  Miss Stafford, started talking again about the proper steps to solve the equations.  Raising my head, I noticed the boy from the altercation, the one who’s eyes looked right through me.  He was three rows ahead of me with his head turn to the right as if he was trying to see something behind him.  We locked eyes for a moment and he slowly looks forward.  “Now this is going to be such a fun class” I think to myself.  It was tough to get a hold of myself and focus on the class work.  Before lunch we were given two handouts to complete and turn in.  I took my time to make sure I had every step completed.  I reviewed twice before turning in, due to the fact, I did not want to be the first one done.  Nor did I want to walk up that aisle and pass that boy.  When lunch became among us, I waited to be the last one out the door.  After, herding through the lunch line to get my food, I slowly walk in into the cafeteria scanning the tables to find a place to sit.  Jackpot, very back corner table to myself.  As I sit my tray down, I over hear the girls next to me.  Without looking at them directly, I noticed they were looking toward the front of the room.  “Why is it that all the good- looking guys are the bad boys anymore?” one girl said as more of a statement then a question.  “I don’t know, but I am willing to be a bad girl for maybe one night.” Another said with a laugh.  “Those kids have it made, money, cars, parents that pretty much run the town.  And can get away with murder and not one person in this town would ever try to stop them”  “All they care about though, is each other.  Those two gangs are worse that the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s, they just look like models while fighting each other.” That got the whole table laughing.  Dipping my nugget into the ketchup, it started to piece together.  They are gangs, but really, here in Kentucky.  That just does not make any sense what so ever.  My protective instincts will have to just chill when it comes to those people.  Speaking of the devils, in walks one of the groups.  The girls next to me start shhing each other, as one says “Hush, there are the Keller’s.” Not being able to stop myself I search out to find those eyes.   Those silent shadowy mystical green eyes, that are looking back at me.  Shockingly he turns and walks out the side door and leaves his crew.  The rest of them walks to the nearest table, where the two boys sitting gets up and walks away.  What an effect to have on someone. I finished my meal, threw it away and walked toward my classroom.  Turning right into the hall of where my room resides, one can hear voices.  It was not very loud, almost like they were trying to be whispers, but the emotion that came through was hostile.  Both voices male, and the distaste for one another came through clearly.  Hesitant steps lead me to find that the Keller boy and the God like guy was face-to-face again.  “You are so pathetic and so is that girl.  Goes to show why you should not be head Lighter, you allow norms to be part of your group, for Heaven Sake” spat out the God like guy.  “It’s disgusting of how low you truly are.”  “You need to lower your voice, Marcus.  There are ears everywhere and you know that,” Keller said.  I stopped dead, did he know I was there listening.  “And you know I only have my crew, they must and do obey the laws no matter what.  Unlike some of yours.”  “Listen Tristen, just step down.  It will make everyone’s life easier, especially yours and your sisters.”  Marcus whispered.  With that Tristen’s hand opened and closed to a fist.  This Marcus guy was getting under his skin.  For some reason, I felt my stomach start to turn.  Who does this guy think he is?   My feet started moving, with each step my heart beating faster.  I walk up behind Tristen, place my arm casually on his shoulder with a lean as if I have known him my whole life.  “Well, Well, Well, what do we have here?”  I ask while batting my eyes flirtingly towards Marcus.  He turns his head, and the death look is back.  Now it’s my turn to push his buttons it seems.  “What? Not good with talking in front of girls?”  That gets a bewilder look from him.  “Now, remember words are our friends, we use them to express our emotions.” I taunt him.   He turns and walks the other way.  Tristen takes a step back and I almost fall into the wall.  Catching myself, I straighten up to face him.  His face is showing struggle of emotions, while his stance is nothing but hostile.  The muscles in his arms all the way to his hands were tight.  And his hands were still in fist.  Yep, I have over stepped my boundaries with him too, three for three today.   Tristen didn’t say a word just turned on his heels and walked away too.  What is it with this place? Feeling totally foolish I walk as fast as I could to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall.  With my head in my hands I lean against the door and cry.  What is wrong with me?  I have never been the type of person to bother anyone let alone get in between two boys about to duke it out.  It’s as though I have gone crazy.  What is this school doing to me? After taking a few moments to get my emotions in check I realize, yes that is it.  Being the new girl, I have gone temporarily insane.  Ok, no more. Standing up straight, shaking my whole body as if shaking off the crazy, I wipe my eyes and walk to class.  By the time I get there, some students have arrived too.  But, no Tristen.  Good.  Maybe I can finish this day without any more trouble.  There was only thirty minutes left of fourth period.  Miss Stafford, put us in groups to work on a page out of our books.  Being the odd number of kids, I offered to just work alone.  It suited me just fine.  When the bell rang the whole class filed out of the room into the halls.  As I walk out there was the small girl from this morning, leaning against the lockers.  Looking at her now, even though she was small she looks tough.  The way she was standing, the look in her green eyes stated she was fierce.   Her copper skin glowing against the white walls behind her, and red long hair draped over her shoulder.  She had another girl with her.  They both shared the same features she just had short spikey hair that was died midnight black.  When I walked past them they pushed off the wall and followed.                 This has really been the most messed up day.  And now I have two girls following me through the halls.  Making it to my locker, I flick through the combination open the door and put my books up.  Taking my time hoping that they would just keep going, I sneak peaks around for them.  No sight of them.  I close the door and walked to my next class.  The rest of the day seemed easier or I guess I should say less dramatic.  Walking out of my seventh period class, I could not be happier to get this day over with.  Talking about terrible days, this was one of my top ten.  Waiting for the buses to leave, for those of us who drove to make it to our cars, I notice the girl that was with Marcus today walking my way.  Standing on the side walk I focus my attention to the last bus pulling out.  With what seemed like way too soon, that girl was next to me.  And to close for my comfort.  Next to her was a guy, same pale skin rounder face and purple tips on his shoulder length hair.  Almost as tall as she was, he kept peaking around her smiling at me.   My normal self would have just waited the next three minutes in silence and made it to my car safe.  No not me today, I opened my big mouth and said, “If you take a picture it will last longer.”  This must have sounded funny coming from a “norms” type of person because that made him roll with laughter.  To the point he was bent over with tears in his eyes.  Way overly dramatic if you ask me.  This guy stands up after about a minute, walks in front of me and says, “You know, you seem very spirited.  I like that.” Looking my body up and down, talking about making my skin crawl.  He finishes, “For a norm, you are kind of attractive, and smell delicious.” As he sniffs the air next to my face, when his face comes back into my sight, I see his eyes wide.  As if he just realized something.  Then he takes his finger and traces the outline of my face.  Chills began to arise on my arms.  “Do NOT touch her”, came to my ears as if the words were forced out.  My body stiffens as I realize who is next to me.  I do not even have to look, it was Tristen. How I knew, not a clue but not just my mind knew my body reacted too.  His voice made my body temperature rise that I felt the redness form in my cheeks. No is not the time to be attracted to him.  I take a step back as he takes one into the place where I was standing.  Locking eyes with the purple hair boy, Tristen had that same tensed position with his body.  The smaller girl from today was beside me with her friend on the other side.  This is way too weird.  The smaller girl spoke, “there are too many eyes right now Tristen, besides Eric is not worth your time and you know it.” “What’s wrong Amber, scared pretty boy will get his face all messed up?” Eric replied.  So, that’s her name.  It fits her so well.  Laughing Amber says, “No, I am just not into staying after school as much as you are.  Seems detention is your best friend here lately. “ Eric started to answer her when the tall blonde spoke,” He’s just trying to get some extra credit in History.  No worries little one.”  Amber just rolled her eyes, as Eric continued “speaking of, let’s go Sasha or we will be late.”  Eric grabs her hand the two of them walk off.  Wrapping my arms around myself as if to hold myself together.  This day has been such a rollercoaster of emotions for me.  Tristen turns and faces me, this was the first time that he has looked at me and there be no anger.  The tension in his body is gone and his shoulders were relaxed.  By this time his whole crew was around us.  The way he was gazing at me was almost apologetic.  It was like he was pleading with me for something.  The cool rush of wind blew as if circling both of us and I shiver.  Cold chills run up my arm, his right arm moves up toward me and then just falls.  Without a word he pivots and walks away as does the rest of the crew, with the small girl turning back over her shoulder smiling at me.  Alone I stand, again today.  Pulling into my driveway, turn off my car, I sat with my head against the headrest.  Never in my life have I experienced anything like today.  And I do not want to ever again.  Grabbing my backpack, I close my door and that’s when I see her, my Nannie.  Standing on my porch with her gray curly hair blowing in the wind and the biggest smile on her face.  I feel the warmth of her love just spread over me.  Making it up the steps, I drop my pack and just hug her.  “Awe, baby girl.  It is so good to see you.”  While rubbing my back she speaks.  Loosing up the hug and dropping one arm while keeping the left around her shoulders we walk into the house.  “How was your day, Hun?” she asks while she moves her way into the kitchen.  I guess the look I give her says it all.  She stops and comes back to me, grabs my hand and we sit at the table.  “Just tell me all about it sweetie.” “Let’s just say that it is not like my old school. “I reply back to her.  “I knew it would be different but, Nan its totally different.  There are these kids and their crew and the tension between them.  I just do not understand it at all.” Her eyes got big, “You have met the Keller’s and Chaffins.  Wow, on the first day even. I was hoping it would not have been so quick. How was it?”  she asked.  “It was a kind of involved in every conversation thing.” I replied.  I went into what happened, trying not to give much detail.  After we talked she cooked dinner while I completed homework and took a shower.  Sitting down to eat with Nan has always been a favorite thing of mine.  She is such a wonderful person, caring, smart, funny (you should see this woman try to play dominos) she can cook too.  “Thinking about your situation of being the new kid at school and what happened to you at school today, I think you should give those kids another chance.” Nan speaks as she fills my plate.  I just give her a questionably stare.  “Just hear me out child, you are the new kid, and everyone always has their own opinion of new kids.  And here you are trying to figure out your own opinion on these kids.  Those two groups, their families are the two oldest families in this town.  And well, you know how small towns can be.  Everyone thinks they know everything about one another.  The Chaffins and Keller’s once upon a time were close as bees too honey.  Until one day, they weren’t.  Some say it was because the Keller’s got so much more power in the town with owning most of it.  Others say that it was because an affair happened.  No one really knows just that the families have been enemies ever since.”  “That just does not seem like a good enough reason to act the way they do.”  I stated as I took my last bite.  “Well, everyone holds grudges for even the littlest thing.” Nan explained.                  “Don’t you think that those families would have moved on by now?” I asked her.  “From that day everything became a competition for them.  That is why they must outdo the other in everything.  And it has fell on their kids to be the same now.  Really, sad I think.  Jake Keller seems to want to squash the beef and move on but, again his family is the one who has reason about themselves too.”  She said.  I went to bed that night, thinking about that story for when I woke the next day it was still on my mind.